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Original poster

My Autisitc son has and Interview next week at Cambridge. I'm terrified for him

33 replies

MysticMum68 · 10/12/2019 08:59

I hope they dont leave him feeling distraught, but if anyone has a DD or DS that survived the interview process, would be happy to share what happened, I'd sleep better.
All the forms that need to be filled to help support the interview have been done.
He feels relaxed, so why cant I.

OP posts:
screamer1 · 10/12/2019 09:02

No advice, but huge congrats to your son! I really hope it goes ok.

Ohyesiam · 10/12/2019 09:04

My shy and sheltered nice has an Cambridge interview and enjoyed it. she was told not to talk about the questions they had been asked, but she felt welcomed and challenged in an encouraging way.
What sort of things upset your son and what is he applying for?

SarahAndQuack · 10/12/2019 09:25

I've both interviewed and been interviewed (though the last one was a long time ago now!). Tell him:

  • the porters are there to help. They are the people he can go to if he's not sure of anything, and they should do their best to figure it out for him.
  • there is no right or wrong way to do the interview, so if he feels worried about anything, he should just say so. He can say 'I don't think I understand what you want me to do' or 'can you say that again please'. It's absolutely part of the process.
  • there is no magic sign, or special form of words, or any such bollocks, to tell any candidate how they've done. No one knows whether it went well or badly. You just do your best. Sometimes, when a candidate thinks they made a mess, it is simply because the interviewers asked harder questions, because they were impressed. And sometime, when a candidate thinks they didn't get asked searching questions and worries this is because they didn't impress, they were being asked searching questions and they did impress.

No one is going to judge your DS for being autistic and no one is going to think about anything except how good he is at his subject and how well his aptitudes fit in with the demands of that degree course.

Good luck to him!

SarahAndQuack · 10/12/2019 09:27

(Oh, and if he doesn't feel comfortable with anything, eg., if he's staying over and doesn't fancy breakfast in a big hall full of people, no one will think anything of it if he doesn't go. Just make sure he eats something sensible somewhere! I don't know if that would be particularly relevant to someone with autism or not, but for lots of candidates, socialising is actually the daunting bit, and it's important to know you're perfectly entitled to want your alone time and to stay in your room if you're staying over/to find a quiet corner if you're waiting for things.)

Ironoaks · 10/12/2019 09:33

Mine (also on the autism spectrum) has his interview tomorrow. He is excited and looking forward to it.
He has submitted the required evidence of disability but has not requested any particular adjustments at interview.

lifeisgoodagain · 10/12/2019 09:40

Best of luck, my asd dd was interviewed and got a place (but messed up a levels) they were really understanding

Original poster
MysticMum68 · 10/12/2019 10:04

I will sleep a bit better now. Thank you lovely peeps.

OP posts:
LeftieLovegood · 10/12/2019 10:39

My best friend at Oxford had fairly debilitating autism and loved every moment of interview!

Tbh I think an awful lot of Oxbridge students are high functioning autistic; spending 14+ hours a day obsessing about your favourite niche area of your academic subject isn't for everyone!

Woollycardi · 10/12/2019 10:44

Good luck to him! Maybe look at it like he is trying out if it's the right place for him rather than them interviewing him, that way maybe some of the pressure is relieved! Academically he is clearly flying to even get an interview so rest assured that he has the ability to answer any question they throw at him. He can do this!

Woollycardi · 10/12/2019 10:44

Ooh, also, maybe try and plan something that you can do during the interview so you don't spend the time pacing outside the room!

LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 10/12/2019 10:45

I have also interviewed and been interviewed and I agree with absolutely everything SarahAndQuack says Smile good luck to him and to Ironoaks' DS too!

AveAtqueVale · 10/12/2019 10:47

I loved my interview, and my whole three years there. Have been diagnosed with Asperger's since graduating, had lots of autistic friends there (long before I suspected I might be on the spectrum). Concur with LeftieLovegood - the whole place is basically an obsessive's dream Smile.

Deckthehallswith · 10/12/2019 10:55

No advice but just want to wish him the best of luck. Please let us know how he gets on.

Original poster
MysticMum68 · 11/12/2019 08:14

I think we will spend a night at a B&B nearby so we can all feel rested and avoid a stress free journey from South London. Also a non rushed breakfast will keep him relaxed.
Nice to know there are many like him there, so this helps. I'm happy if he gets a place or not, as I agree its a big statement of ability to just get this far.

OP posts:
Milomonster · 11/12/2019 08:46

Best of luck to your DS! Certain departments in the top universities have higher than average rates of kid with ASD. Also, Cambridge is at the forefront of research on ASD with Baron-Cohen’s work and so perhaps there is good knowledge in admissions. I am sure staff will put him at ease.

LastMichaelmas · 11/12/2019 08:55

Am in my last year (hence name 😭) and autistic.

It's probably the highest density of spergy people anywhere in the country. Everyone involved — porters, fellows, housekeeping, everyone — is utterly used to us and nobody thinks anything of it if you're nervous or flappy or can't talk today or tend to go on about your interests. I suspect it's always been so, it's just we didn't used to be diagnosed. IMO the whole place is essentially a specialist support system designed for autists who want to obsess about their area of interest without having to think too much about managing all that boring life stuff.

LastMichaelmas · 11/12/2019 08:56

I suppose if you're having a nonverbal that's probably unhelpful for an interview.

LastMichaelmas · 11/12/2019 08:57

*nonverbal day

Dowser · 11/12/2019 09:02

Good luck to your son.
Following with interest
My grandson is autistic..he’s not oxbridge material ..but is at a local uni doing art.
We are hoping for a normal life for him, relationship, children, good job etc...at the moment he seems to struggle with friendships.
He’s a lovely young man...
It’s encouraging to read so e of the stories here.

LastMichaelmas · 11/12/2019 10:27

I can describe my interview process in painstaking detail if you like but every college and every subject is different. All I'd say is to ignore the comments on newspaper articles about interviews saying "I WENT TO AN OXFORD INTERVIEW IN 1978 AND THE INTERVIEWER TOLD ME TO LIGHT HIS PIPE, ASKED ME HOW MUCH ANTARCTICA WEIGHS, IGNORED ME FOR TWENTY MINUTES THEN TOLD ME TO LEAVE".

For someone enthusiastic about the subject they're interviewing for, being interviewed is likely to be an interesting experience and maybe even enjoyable. It's not like a job interview. You basically get to talk about your favourite thing with other people for whom it's their favourite thing too.

MsMellivora · 11/12/2019 11:09

DH did both his UG and PhD at Cambridge. Our generation were rarely diagnosed with anything but he is absolutely someone who has many autistic traits as do I. I could read really very well before I went to school and was self taught , was sneaking in it the adult section age six in the library and was incredibly irate I wasn’t allowed to take out adult books. He loved his time at Cambridge and remaining in academia has been wonderful for him because a lot of people are on the spectrum that work in higher education. I read a research paper on it once but cannot remember the author. I only made it to a red brick myself but remained working in higher education for 21 years. It’s the one place I felt I truly fitted in.

Being really academically intelligent sounds great but it brings its own burdens. DH and I were lucky to find each other.

LastMichalemas good luck with your finals, your mentioning being allowed to obsess about stuff and boring life stuff bought a smile to my face.

LastMichaelmas · 11/12/2019 11:21

Thanks MsMellivora!

I was a hyperlexic too Grin

Ironoaks · 12/12/2019 01:29

DS had a good afternoon and enjoyed his time in the college. At the entrance, one of the porters gave DS a map and drew on it a suggested route to the waiting room. In the waiting room there were student volunteers who told DS when it was time for him to start making his way to the interview room.

While waiting he met a few other candidates (interviewing for a range of subjects).

He was slightly surprised that none of the interviewers offered a handshake, but decided that this is a sensible precaution during cold and flu season.

LastMichaelmas · 12/12/2019 01:55

Awesome, good luck to him! Glad he enjoyed it.

WhatAMum01 · 12/12/2019 02:26

My son is severely autistic and will never be independent, however it warms my heart no end to read of fellow autistic children and adults doing well in life,you must be so proud op,its wonderfulxx

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