My Autisitc son has and Interview next week at Cambridge. I'm terrified for him

[MysticMum68]

I hope they dont leave him feeling distraught, but if anyone has a DD or DS that survived the interview process, would be happy to share what happened, I'd sleep better.
All the forms that need to be filled to help support the interview have been done.
He feels relaxed, so why cant I.

😀 I bet you're proud of your son too, for lots of things, WhatAMum! Life isn't always easy for autistic people with high support needs and many achievements are hard-won.

I mean, it was never the the academic stuff I was afraid I wouldn't cope with at university. It was the other things — things other people take for granted. Independence is relative; I've never been what you might call fully independent, in the way some people might mean it. Living in college here is almost like a kind of supported accommodation; when I was struggling early on in my course and thinking of changing universities, my tutor urged me not to because, she said, I'd find it much harder somewhere else where there's less of a structure of support around the student. What I'm most proud of isn't really the academic stuff, it's each tiny incremental step towards doing what others take for granted. I might never get all the way there, and every autistic person will be different in how much and what kind of support they need around them. I'm lucky in that I need less support with lots of everyday stuff than your son, but when I meet other autistic people who have higher support needs than I do, I know they worked their arses off to get where they are, against barriers other people just don't have, whether it's being able to communicate their needs in ways others understand, learning how to understand a subtle glance from across the room, organising systems and schedules that allow them to get things done, doing a degree, working out ways to deal with frustration that don't injure anyone, whatever.

I don't know if this is coming across the way I mean it. I don't mean to be condescending, at all. There's things autistic people with higher support needs struggle with that it seems the average person finds inexplicable… but when I see people having those problems — things like biting yourself, not being able to use words to get across what you want to communicate, going into panic mode in the supermarket, being unable to control yourself when something doesn't go as expected, not being able to bear being touched, even things like smearing , I've had a taste of that and I feel like I get it, it's familiar to me, and I have an inkling of what it might be feeling like for them. And therefore I genuinely think achievements your average person might think nothing of are something to be incredibly proud of, because I know how difficult those things will have been. Sometimes even just getting through the days, being able to eat and drink, coping with washing yourself. And all the people who've put in so much time and effort and love to support people, that's got to deserve some pride too

Merry Christmas to everyone who contributed on this board. My DS had his i/v last week and said he had had mixed feelings about how it went. There were handshakes but just Maths questions on both interviews. The experience was a once in a lifetime opportunity so were just happy with that so a place would be a nothing more than a bonus. Over 100 interviewees for about 10 places at his college so 1 in 10. Still better odds the the National Lottery but expectations we are keeping very low and any discussion about it banned as I cant afford him to be demotivated if he doesn't get a place. UCL is our main target as he's got Kings already.

Good luck.

I'm autistic and went to Cambridge but I wasn't diagnosed then. A teacher at my school told me I'd never get in because I wouldn't come across well at interview but I obviously did because I was offered a place and subsequently met a few people for my subject who weren't offered places at my college in the same year.

I think there are a lot of autistic people at Cambridge - on the staff as well as amongst the students.

Good luck with it all @MysticMum68 and have a lovely Christmas with it at the back of your minds

DD's boyfriend doesn't have ASD but had his Cambridge interview last week. He was nervous anyway but then totally panicked when he realised he had misunderstood the first question, and just dried up. But they were really good about it, and 'gently' asked if he'd like to rephrase his answer. The UG who showed him around was really reassuring and said she had thought her interview had been dreadful, but obviously got offered the place.

@LastMichaelmas - you sound wonderful. Empathetic, and not at all condescending. My daughter has just been diagnosed aged 9, and she struggles to get through days at times; as do we all. Congratulations on all your achievements and on just keeping going!