What is your best wedding tip?

[PlaymobilPirate]

Booked our wedding a few weeks ago for July. Registrar and venue sorted but nothing else!

Don"t sweat the small stuff. Things are bound to go not exactly as planned. Don't let that ruin your day

There is a correct way to hold a bouquet. With a relaxed arm down by your waist/abdomen.

Or there are incredibly uptight people with a set of very rigid ideas about 'correct' bouquet-carrying...

@SolitaryGrape I refrained from dictating the exact angle of the elbow, I think that makes me the very definition of relaxed

I agree about not asking a friend to do photos, I have a friend who is a decent amateur photographer and dreads getting a wedding invitation followed up by "we wondered if you'd be able to take photos", she says it puts a lot of pressure on and means she can't relax and enjoy the wedding. Everything BikeRunSki says.

Our friends sent us the best photos they'd taken on the day with smart phones etc, we didn't ask them to, they just did.

We didn't ask anyone in particular to be 'the photographer' so no pressure.

But from all the ones that were sent we picked up some that were just lovely and are our favourites.

It was an informal wedding though. And, as I said upthread, I really wish we hadn't had the formal photographer there doing the set piece family photos etc.

It just wasn't us and distracted from us spending time with people who'd come a long way for the day.

He used to do wedding photography- we'd be paying him but don't want any getting ready shots / close ups of rings etc. We're just not photo people!

It's going to be a very relaxed, informal do with people invited to bring a hoody and trainers for the night time and fire pits with marshmallows etc hopefully

And yes to getting pissed - as long as you don't vomit down your dress (I have seen one bride do this 🤣) it has to be done!

OP because it's 4.15 food (so a little unusual) put this on the invitation so that people don't stuff themselves beforehand!
Are any guests travelling from afar? I hate it when B&G don't take into account that some people will struggle to factor in lunch or that some will be setting off suited and booted at 8am

and I agree re photographer. I did photos as a favour once (I am not a photographer nor have credentials but had a fancy camera). The pictures were awful and I had no confidence in directing people where to stand etc. They'll never get that day back

Leave things to the experts if you're not too bothered about details - on the whole, no need to micromanage and less stress if you just let others do what they do.

We had cupcakes and I just said 'Blue cupcakes with butterflies'; didn't need to check the design or anything, just left them to it, it's was great.

ILs were paying for flowers, I just said to MIL 'Nice English country flowers that go with the venue' (it's was also a barn) and asked for calla lillies and white feathers in my bouquet and keep it small (as I am short and was wearing a 3/4 length dress, not a big bridal thing) and didn't see it until I turned up on the day and it was also great.

Also, re: dresses. Don't feel you have to do a big white dress unless you want to. I do hear some brides sighing that they don't feel comfortable but they think they 'have to'. I can't move for toffee in anything full length, I'm too pale for white (and would have worried about spilling things on it as I am wont to do), so a blue, shorter dress did great for me and left me the money over to have custom shoes and headpiece. We did laugh about the fact my full outfit was cheaper than DH's Paul Smith suit!

Have YOUR wedding. Not your mother’s, the bridesmaid’s, a wedding planner’s or anyone else’s. I got that wrong first time round.

Don't sweat the small stuff!!

Remember that it is just one day out of the whole of your married life together. One day. A special day, but it isn't the be-all and end-all. xx

Plan the speeches BEFORE the food! Hat was everyone can relax. The best thing we did for our wedding and it made a huge difference. I also second not inviting people that you don't want or cos your parents insist etc.

Wedding website (free & easy to use for all the details, rsvp and menu choices). Great Videographer over photographer, or both. As the bride you miss so much of the day & pics can be grabbed from a good quality vid anyway. Very small bridal party. Good quality food.

Financial stuff:

Dont bother with favors, table decorations, fancy invites. Noone gives a fuck and the price can escallate quickly.

Think hard about photographers: Everyone has a camera on their phone these days. Maybe just a couple of posed shots if you really want.

When you order things: Try to avoid wedding suppliers and don't mention its for a wedding. My wedding cake was three different sizes of cream gataux on a hired cake stand. Hiring the stand was the most expensive part. The gataux came from the bakery opposite venue and cost £25 total. We literally just popped in and bought them on the day of the wedding.

We had a really great band but I don't think it was appreciated. People mostly wanted to chat and catch up and didn't pay a lot of attention. In retrospect I could have saved the money.

If you have money spare- put it behind the bar. Thats what your guests want you to do- i promise.

Planning:

People don't like hanging around with nothing to do. If your doing posed photos- try to keep it to a minimum and get it over quickly

We laid on a bus to take folks from the registry office to the reception and it was money well spent. The distance between venues wasn't great but its like herding cats especially if people dont know the area.

People need some cues about what they're supposed to be doing. We didn't do a "first dance" and everyone just stood about awkwardly not knowing if it was OK for them to dance or not. Every time you want people to do something annouce it. "Please take a glass for the toast" "Please enjoy the bar" "Now we invite you to join us on the dance floor"

Interprersonal Stuff:

If family or friends have volunteered to help out or provided a service for "mates rates" you need to look after them and make them feel appreciated.
Give someone the job of circulating and making sure these people have food and drink. Give them money to spend on this.
Its a nice touch to thank them publicly and present them with a bottle of whiskey or similar.

If you have a problem relative who starts scenes- get someone to babysit them and keep them out of trouble. My bridesmaid did an excellent job of smoothing the ego of a drunken vindictive Nana.

Toileting:

You may need a bridesmaid on hand to hold your dress up when you go to the loo

When picking your date: Try and avoid it falling on your period!

I think you paying for the mini buses would be a nice gesture.

You may need a bridesmaid on hand to hold your dress up when you go to the loo

Consider this when picking a dress. Do you want your bridesmaids to have to help you go to the loo? Do they want to help you, especially (to be crude) if you are suffering from a nervous stomach?

I was a bridesmaid for my best friend, and yes I would have helped her with this if necessary because I love her and it was her wedding day, but I’m bloody glad I didn’t need to!

Congratulations!

Make sure you have enough food. The last 2 weddings we went to they ran out of food within 5 minutes of it being out and not everyone managed to get some. Everyone was starving and it ruined the day a bit tbh

No matter what has gone on on the approach, wake up on your wedding day and say to yourself you're going to enjoy every single second - let any not quite scenarios take a back seat.

Don't feel pressured into spending money on stuff that isn't important, or that a friend/parent/you could do just as well. Like hair and makeup, cake, flowers, fancy cars.

OVERCATER FOR VEGETARIANS. Seriously. In our RSVPs, 5 people said they were veggie. On the day when we call out vegetarians to get their food first, 15 people stand up. "But how did she not know I'm a vegan now" - because you didn't fucking tell me!

You pay for the minibuses.
Making people pay a fiver each is petty and tight.
Cut other things if need be, e.g. favours.
And that's not enough food.

-Yeah, don’t make people pay for transport to your wedding, ffs 😄
-Agree with over cater for vegetarians, because meat eaters will eat the vegetarian stuff as well as the meat stuff
-3 rounds of light snacks, no actual filling food to absorb the booze?
-only invite people you like and/or love. Why evening guests? Do you not like them enough to have them at the actual wedding? Don’t bother inviting them at all then.
-dead plants, tat on the tables, all that crap you’re ‘meant’ to do=nah. No one cares, it’s throwing money down the toilet.
-I don’t agree with whoever said walk round and talk to every guest, no, you can see those people any time, thanking should be done in thank you cards, chat a bit, but this is the only day of your life where it is solely for you and your husband, where you can snog and people will go ‘awww’ and not ‘get a fuckin room!’, don’t waste it making idle small talk with people.

Is canapes, massive sharing platters with meat and veg, dessert buffet then hog roast really not enough for a 3pm wedding??

Every wedding I've been to I've paid 20/30 for a taxi so though a fiver was a great deal!

Venue can seat 150 outside daytime but only 60 ish inside if the weather is pants... hence day and evening invitations

I don't really agree with the don't have evening guests bit. We had a lot of guests (120) but the registry office only fit 50. What were we meant to do, not invite them? Evening guests is a standard thing, every wedding I've been to out of 13 has had them, and venues assume that in their packages too. The "evening" ones at ours turned up at 4 and only missed 1.5 hours - they still got food and all the rest of it.

You're not going to please everyone at your wedding let alone people on Mumsnet with different standards and ideas.

Just do what you and your husband want, it's your day. If people don't like it they don't have to go.