Argh! "No, you don't want one of those... you want this instead!"

[LadyFlumpalot]

Every fucking year.

Every fucking year MIL asks for an Amazon wish list and every single year rings me up or texts me to tell me that I don't really want what I've asked for, I want something that she wants to get me instead!

Obligatory acknowledgement of the fact that I'm lucky, should be grateful, it's not mandatory that she buys me a present, blah blah blah... but why?!? Why the fuck does she mither me from mid November to provide an Amazon List then refuse to buy me what I've actually asked for?

This year I have asked for a particular DVD box set. This afternoons text - "oh, I've seen that it's rubbish, have you seen "xyz"? That's really good, I'll get you "xyz" you'll much prefer it!"

And don't even get me started on the coldness of Amazon lists... I honestly would much rather prefer she used what she knows about me after FIFTEEN YEARS in her life and spent a fiver on something I'll enjoy (a book, a CD, a few beads) than she spends £50 on something I've had to search for, locate and link to her. Where's the thoughtfulness in it?

Grrrrrr. Breathe. Rant over.

I get a scarf every year. I don’t wear scarfs.

My MILs house is very full of ornaments. I have none, just don’t really like them and I’m quite clumsy so I would break anything.

I get an ornament every year. None have ever been displayed in my house

I will always remember the time my MIL got me a handbag for Christmas. I had said that I needed one,but unfortunately,didn't mention that it had to be black,navy,or dark grey. That is the only colour handbag that I ever use,and I foolishly thought that she would have noticed this. Wrong. She gave me a handbag,a bright pink one. My face must have been a picture. I never used it.

Haha! Yes! I've got one like that. She's bloody amazing in every other way but she drives me nuts with this. Does it with the kids too. And her son. It's like she's never met us...

My MIL buys me brooches. She has never seen me wear a brooch, nor will she ever. I did very politely try to tell her one year but she wasn't having any of it.

I'm buying my Ddil a foot warmer. I get cold feet so she probably does too!

Last year MIL got me a paint by numbers.

Why don't you tell her that you don't need any more stuff, thank her for the thought but you specifically don't want her to buy you anything at all and if she does get you anything politely return it opened so she can take it back

Goats, Oxfam charity goats! Insist you want those. Specific colours & target countries & all. Hopefully they'll at least choose something else from the same catalog. And the money can not go to waste.

My mother does this, it drives me insane.
I'd pretty much given up hope by the time I was 12yo (asked for a jewellery box, very randomly got a tabletop football game) It's only got worse though.
The amount of clothes I've returned over the years because "This would look so much better on you than the sort of thing you usually wear" is staggering.
This year I've requested a specific kitchen item from Ikea. It's more likely I'll end up with a neon orange flamingo print umbrella

I know someone who bought a vegan friend a leather handbag!

She was honestly bemused and upset at the reaction of horror on friends face. She honestly thought vegan was basically vegetarian. She had no idea that being given a ‘dead cow’ bag might be offensive. I must admit I saw the funny side.

I get perfume every single year from my auntie. I wear perfume maybe 3-4 times a year. I much prefer a body spray as most perfumes give me a migraine. I have mentioned this several times. Makes no difference, every flipping year the perfume arrives!

I would love a bright pink handbag, which I'd proudly use alongside a neon orange flamingo print umbrella!

I love colour, and black handbags make me feel gloomy and trying to be a grown up (I'm only in my 60s and not yet ready for that).

My MIL is brilliant and gives me gifts she'll know I'll love.

FIL & his wife on the other hand don't know me at all - I've been with DH nearly 20 years. One year I got a pen with the wrong name on.

Perfume is a dangerous gift. Most people have specific ones they love/hate.

My mum used to buy Private Eye for my DH (and boy, did some posters on here blast me for saying he wasn’t interested, even though I never told her) and cheap plastic jewellery for me. I don’t wear jewellery (well, very specific stuff and really rarely). I just despair.

I think I probably similar, I’d buy her something I thought she or dad would like then she’d try to give it back to me or it would be unused forever. I only buy her consumables now and she gives me vouchers.

She sounds like a tw...it.

Ooh I love perfume! Asked ex mil for ck1 got ck shock instead its really not the same thing

It could be worse! We know someone who corrects our orders in a restaurant. If I order mussels she will say to the waiter ‘Radar won’t like those, bring her the pate’. Or “Radar’s DH won’t like the rare steak, bring it well done’. If she does it in the U.K. we can catch the waiters eye and insist on our original order but sometime we go on group holidays to her country of origin where she gets into deep conversations with the waiters that defeat our limited language skills and we just accept that we will be eating what she thinks we will like.

My Mam was like this for a good few years, now Dad does the presents we all get money. I had years of jewellery i didn't wear, and a year's of face cream etc. When I die someone will look at my jewellery and think I was related to Jeckle and Hide.

Well why do you keep playing along?

Next time she asks for an Amazon list... " listen MIL, I'm not bothering with a list because you never get me anything from it, so you just choose something, like you always do, and I'm sure I'll like it".

MIL likes to ask you what you want
You give her specific things in a low price range, with amazon links. And also offer just get whatever you like, no problem, will appreciate anything
Then on Christmas Day she says
Well you know what you want better than me, so I didn’t get anything. Go and buy x gift ( that Ive picked off the list of similarly priced options you gave me) tomorrow and I’ll give you the money once it comes/ next time I see you.

Great. thanks mil. Hope you like the gift I spent ages thinking about shopping for and wrapping beautifully for you. - good job you give all the credit to dh too, who did fuck all.

My DH does this - but he'll say the one I've put on the list has shite reviews or massive p&p, would I mind if he got X one instead but he will have read every review and looked at all the pictures to find the closest version, or found it somewhere else entirely.

Oh, I totally get that I just shouldn't play along, but, despite the irritation, it is just easier to give her a list. I'm complaining, being a bit unreasonable, of course I'll be grateful for whatever I'm given.

I'm ranting here so that I don't do it in real life where I shall of course be sweetness and light personified.

P.S - I would LOVE a foot warmer as I have Raynauds. I suspect I'd get a pair of sandals however if I asked for one.

We had to start Amazon lists as MIL was so bad for this - DH would ask for a Lands End big and tall flannel shirt in red for example (he's 6'3 and big built). She would buy an M&S regular shirt, polycotton in yellow. I asked for black woollen gloves one year, and she chose beige fleece.

DH is 47, and she and FIL would never be able to choose something for him without a list, so no hope for me or ds tbh

My mil has recently decided that she can't deal with the hassle of buying Christmas presents and will do token gifts only. I'm thrilled!!! I know I'll get a box of chocolates which I'm not supposed to eat as I'm diabetic! which suits me down to the ground. I've had many years of jewellery, handbags, pyjamas, smellies sets, etc that are just so unlike me that they've all been regifted asap. It upsets me that she's wasted so much money on stuff I don't like and don't use over the years. Chocolates I can't eat sounds perfect now!

My mum does similar. She finds things she thinks I'll like, being under the impression that I have the same style as she does, despite being 30 years younger than her. Bloody rugby shirts (have never in my life worn a rugby shirt), books ( I love reading, I read a lot of science fiction and fantasy, she buys historical sagas, not my taste at all, but luckily mils taste, guess where they get regifted), etc. She announced the other day that all our Christmas presents have been bought from charity shops this year in an effort to be more eco friendly. I didn't like to tell her they'll be going directly back to a charity shop as she won't have bought anything any of us like.

My MIL sits at home surrounded by the endless catalogues that drop through her letterbox. She pores through said catalogues for hours and hours and hours. She frequently buys random tat from them.

I can't wait to see what I get this year