Argh! "No, you don't want one of those... you want this instead!"

[LadyFlumpalot]

Every fucking year.

Every fucking year MIL asks for an Amazon wish list and every single year rings me up or texts me to tell me that I don't really want what I've asked for, I want something that she wants to get me instead!

Obligatory acknowledgement of the fact that I'm lucky, should be grateful, it's not mandatory that she buys me a present, blah blah blah... but why?!? Why the fuck does she mither me from mid November to provide an Amazon List then refuse to buy me what I've actually asked for?

This year I have asked for a particular DVD box set. This afternoons text - "oh, I've seen that it's rubbish, have you seen "xyz"? That's really good, I'll get you "xyz" you'll much prefer it!"

And don't even get me started on the coldness of Amazon lists... I honestly would much rather prefer she used what she knows about me after FIFTEEN YEARS in her life and spent a fiver on something I'll enjoy (a book, a CD, a few beads) than she spends £50 on something I've had to search for, locate and link to her. Where's the thoughtfulness in it?

Grrrrrr. Breathe. Rant over.

I've also asked for a contribution towards a new vacuum cleaner. I specified in my text "here's my list, there isn't much on it as I can't think of anything I want - but I do need a new vacuum cleaner so I'm saving for a Shark. If you would like to, a voucher towards that would be much appreciated"

I got the response "has the Dyson died? You should get another Dyson. Much better than a Shark. We've got an old Dyson, it's broken but I'm sure (my DH) can fix it, you can have that instead!"

Mil has bought dd2 a hairdryer for Christmas. We have a perfectly good hairdryer. Dd2 never actually dries her hair. Mil is v proud of her purchase as dd2 is "that age" now. Ffs.

My husbands family is like this , they wr

My husbands family is like this , they write a list and it has to be adhered to exactly , it takes any joy out of buying presents , may as well just exchange a set amount of money ( or not bother at all) .

One year my mil got me perfume.

I very rarely wear perfume and know a specific kind.

She was going on and on about this bargain perfume she got and how much I would love it. She bought it from a cheap market and more than a 1/3rd off the retail price. Funnily enough, It was a knock off and smelled like fairy liquid

“But the man said it was genuine!!” She wailed.

And it wasn’t even a perfume I liked anyway!!

MIL was always thoughtful with her son (my DH) but myself & the kids got tat or re-gifts. One Xmas I was 5 months pregnant, not showing & a size 12/14. She gave me a size 24 cardigan, a hideous thing I wouldn't have given my grandmother as it was too old fashioned (definite re-gift as slightly too small for her or my SIL). My dd got pyjamas which fell apart at the seams after one wash. Gifts & cards were never sent or brought to us, we always had to go to hers to collect (even once we had moved to the other end of the country).

MIL & SIL once gave me an unwrapped, really cheap & naff, plaster of paris trinket box styled as a pink cupcake for my birthday. My 3yr old dd liked it so I let her have it. About a year later I was at a friend's house & saw an indentical one in her daughters pile of bits. Friend told me it had been free with a magazine!

Just to add I had been surprised to even be given the naff trinket box as they had not given me even a birthday card since I'd had the DC.

My MIL asks for some ideas, so we verbally tell her some. Then she says we haven't sent an email with a list, so she goes out and buys what she wants to get us. Then she sticks it on the post about a month before the last posting date.
She also refuses to give us ideas for things she'd like, no matter how often we ask.
Things for me are always something she'd like, normally in purple or brown. I hate purple and have never ever worn anything that color, bit still I get purple jumpers and pyjamas. I'm not keen on brown either, and don't wear jumpers. Really, she should just go to Mark's and get herself a brown jumper.
I know it's nice she thinks of us, but if she thought for 5 seconds beyond the things she likes I'd feel more appreciated. I'm beginning to lose the will to do presents any more.

Oh god this is what 2 out of 3 SILs do. They demand lists of what the kids want for Christmas/birthday/whatever and then when you do give them a list after further demands because your suggestions were “too vague”, they don’t bastarding stick to it. Not that it’s any skin off my nose what they do or don’t get the kids because they genuinely don’t care what they get, they love it all, but WHY SO DEMANDING?!?! If you only wanted a list for suggestions then why was the original set or suggestions not good enough?! Why did you need me to spend more time and effort finding appropriate gifts just so you can ignore it?! It’s not like they don’t know what small children like. They have 8 bloody children between them. They’ve had ALOT of practise. It just baffles me. I’ve started “forgetting” to reply or my phone “crashes” and deletes messages

The favourite trick here is to ask what we'd like for a present, and then be told "well that's not a present" 🤨

I'd love a new pair of trainers for the gym - shoes aren't a present.

I'd love some vouchers for John Lewis so I can treat myself in the sales - vouchers aren't a present.

I'd love a nutribullet - kitchenwear isn't a present.

Then don't ask me what I want!!

This is why we no longer buy Christmas presents for the adults, and told them not to bother for us