Ways to make Christmas more meaningful/spiritual when you're not Christian

[MincePieForPresident]

I'm an atheist, but I really like the Christmas story, and the symbolism of the light returning to the world, the Solstice and all the rest of it. I hate the consumerist attitude to Christmas and we've really cut down on that in recent years,but with DC ranging from a toddler to a 12 year old, we seem to end up running around madly, going to this and that. I try to cut back, and to stay at home more, but you can't say "no" to every school carol service.

I was raised in a religious home, and for me, a lot of the magic of Christmas was to do with the sense of mystery, and hope, around the birth of Christ, as a child it was magical. Candlelit services in church, old carols in Latin.

I no longer believe, and none of the churches nearby celebrate Christmas the way my childhood church did, but I miss that feeling, it was so distinct. I want to get it back, but I don't know how. I think I'd like to link it into nature, the whole idea of the light returning during the darkest time of the year is one I find really powerful (especially as we live rurally and my husband's job is linked to the land) but I don't know where to start.

Does anyone know what I mean? Sorry for any incoherence, currently stuck under a poorly napping toddler!

Find a local church that is holding a Christingle service. The whole meaning of the Christingle is about the light of the world, so perhaps one of those services would suit you?

Perhaps you can do something nice for someone who is alone /lonely during these days?

Take them for a walk, invite them for a meal etc.

This is going to sound a little weird but here goes

Are you a feminist OP? I assume you are. Well I have found that thinking of Advent as a preparation season for the birth of a baby a helpful way to tap into the ‘true’ meaning of Christmas. Imagine you have a friend. She’s pregnant, she has no home of her own, no access to healthcare to medication, no midwife, no doctor. She is a refugee fleeing her homeland. She’s young, she’s vulnerable. How would you try to help her? What would you focus on? Warmth, food, keeping a support network around her. She doesn’t need nursery furniture or expensive silver rattles. She needs the basic things in life, she needs help to keep her and her baby safe and well.

I make the nativity scene the centre of my Christmas preparations and decorations. I keep Mary surrounded by light and warmth (fairy lights in reality). I focus on preparing and cooking healthy, delicious and nutritious food. I light the fire and keep the house warm. I turn off the tv whenever possible and keep the place quiet and peaceful.

I do this in solidarity with all the women throughout history who have relied on the kindness of others to keep them safe and well before and during childbirth. It doesn’t exclude the Christian message (I’m a Catholic) but it adds an element that any woman/mother can probably identify with.

I hope that makes some sense.
I also hope no one things I am completely bonkers !!

@IdentifyasTired that is beautiful, thank you.

Thank you Coffee.

@IdentifyasTired that has brought a little tear to my eye...

SheSnaps

I am agnostic, but I do appreciate the symbolism of Christmas, which for me is the idea of there being strength in weakness.......that you do not have to be powerful to matter. It is a concept that came up often during my professional career, working with people who who had suddenly become disabled through a head injury.

If you're an atheist why would you want to make christmas 'spiritual'?

Do you believe in spirits but not God?

@MincePieForPresident In a similar spirit to @IdentifyasTired, I give an donation to my local women’s refuge.

These days, our celebrations are very low key which I find also helps.

*an extra

She’s pregnant, she has no home of her own, no access to healthcare to medication, no midwife, no doctor. She is a refugee fleeing her homeland. She’s young, she’s vulnerable. How would you try to help her?

We just finished our shoe box for a homeless person. We made it a women-centred box with nice smelllies and some sanitary products. We also donate toys, both new and old to local children's charities.

The story of a 'homeless', pregnant young woman with nowhere to have her baby, living in a country that was living with conflict isn't hard to apply.

We normally take some cupcakes or mince pies to the shelters on the day as well. I normally do that alone though. The rest of the family is knee deep in consumerism!

We’re atheist, but the Christmas story is a bloody brilliant one, and I’m more than happy to indulge in the music inspired by it - that’s what does it for me. DH was brought up in a deeply religious family and now rejects all of it, but I feel that it’s still part of my heritage even if I think it’s fiction, and I’m damn well going to enjoy the centuries of art it prompted. So Carols from Kings it is.

Gawain and the Green Knight is also a fab Xmas/NY/nature tale. The Simon Armitage translation is great and accessible.

I was raised Christian, but I'm pretty agnostic now.

I still enjoy carol services though, and go to church over the Christmas period when I can.

I love the pp's focus on the woman giving birth, that is beautiful.

For me, the idea that there was this tiny baby, who went on to be a great man who did his best to teach others to treat each other more kindly, is just wonderful. You don't have to believe he was the son of God I don't think. I'm not really a big fan of organised religion, but I do recognise that at the heart of most religions is a desire to do good deeds and make the world a better place.

The birth of Jesus was the start of all this for Christianity, and even now people are still trying to follow the teachings and to be better humans. I think that makes Christmas pretty special, whether you are religious or not.

Our church is doing a Community Carol Service (no sermon/no prayers) - ALL Carols

Plus a visit from Father Christmas with really nice gifts for children and dogs (dog friendly service)

Plus biscuits/mince pies/scones

We're hoping that some of the users of our local Foodbank will come with children

Oh @IdentifyasTired, that is really beautiful.

We go to our local Christingle service, it is given by local children and magical.

But the rest is much the same as other pps. Good food, quality family time..long cold walks to count the lights we see and of course, Carols at Kings with Baileys.

We also usually go carol singing with our local youth club to raise funds, but it certainly gets the festive vibe going.

I'd question whether you really are an atheist especially given your religious upbringing and your mention of a needing a spiritual aspect to the season. If you want to reflect on the Nativity and take part in a church service, go for it! Whatever works for you :-) I think most people know what you mean regardless of whether they're religious or spiritual because what goes on over Christmas and the new year isn't specific to this country or even the Christian religion.

I'm an atheist (never even been christened) and the "meaning" of this time of year for me is a lovely hodgepodge of community, love, friendship and time off work for reflection and renewal at the turn of the year. I love all the traditional non-Christian activities for their own sake: fairy lights, the evergreen tree, decorating the house, presents, eating and drinking seasonal food and drinks, parties, spending quality time with loved ones, special music - even carols! - crackers, ghost stories and fairy tales, games, Christmas cards and phone calls, panto, blah blah... but for me it's mainly about spending time with people I love.

This is the positive side of things: there are lots of people who dread it for very good reasons, but that's a different thread!

MrsTerryPrachett

No, it’s not hard to apply at all. We do similar to you at Christmas.
The excess of eating, drinking and presents has its place but there is another side to this season. The coldest darkest days of the year must be some of the hardest to endure when you’re fighting just to survive.

@IdentifyasTired That's a fabulous inspirational post, just love that idea and will be incorporating that into our Christmas, as I felt like the OP, there was something missing.
My teenage dd will love that message.

@IdentifyasTired that is just lovely.

Similar to Identifyastired, but with the addition of preparing for visitors. This is a season of preparing to welcome people into our lives, if not the baby Jesus then family, neighbours, people in need. So we clean, decorate, make the home warm and welcoming and prepare good food to share.
I've really been feeling it this year, like nesting when birth is imminent. I'm not pregnant but have had that same sense of expectant preparation.

I’m really glad what I wrote has resonated with so many of you.

I get what you mean OP.
I went to a very Christian church primary school, there were church services and Christingle and it all felt magical.
It's lost all meaning and feeling for me now, in fact it gives me anxiety it feels so stressful, commercialised and expensive.
This year I'm buying less, I've got a real tree and bought simple vintage baubles. I know that sounds silly but it feels less plastic glitter tat and more basic and natural. I want to get Christmas back to what Christmas should be about.
Have you looked into Paganism and their festivals?

That is really lovely @IdentifyasTired thank you

We do a reverse advert box here (make up a bag with stuff for the winter shelter) but realistically it's better to deliver it before Xmas eve.

This year we have a unicef advent calendar which has a different gift for other children every day which has been a surprising hit and generated lots of conversation.

Although not a believer, I still like to listen to traditional Christmas music, and try to attend at least one Christmas concert/carol service during Advent. I also enjoy opening my (picture) advent calendar each day.

And both last year and this year I have made little scenes from Playmobil for each day of advent, and posted them on here as an "advent calendar".

I try to concentrate on the music/food/traditions aspects of Christmas rather than the commercial, if that makes sense.