Ways to make Christmas more meaningful/spiritual when you're not Christian

[MincePieForPresident]

I'm an atheist, but I really like the Christmas story, and the symbolism of the light returning to the world, the Solstice and all the rest of it. I hate the consumerist attitude to Christmas and we've really cut down on that in recent years,but with DC ranging from a toddler to a 12 year old, we seem to end up running around madly, going to this and that. I try to cut back, and to stay at home more, but you can't say "no" to every school carol service.

I was raised in a religious home, and for me, a lot of the magic of Christmas was to do with the sense of mystery, and hope, around the birth of Christ, as a child it was magical. Candlelit services in church, old carols in Latin.

I no longer believe, and none of the churches nearby celebrate Christmas the way my childhood church did, but I miss that feeling, it was so distinct. I want to get it back, but I don't know how. I think I'd like to link it into nature, the whole idea of the light returning during the darkest time of the year is one I find really powerful (especially as we live rurally and my husband's job is linked to the land) but I don't know where to start.

Does anyone know what I mean? Sorry for any incoherence, currently stuck under a poorly napping toddler!

Celebrate Yule instead of Christmas.

We do a reverse advert box here (make up a bag with stuff for the winter shelter) but realistically it's better to deliver it before Xmas eve.

Or after honestly. We liked the disorganized people who turned up in February. It's still cold, sometimes wetter, we'd run out of the Christmas stuff and there's a long way to go until the warmer weather.

And can I add working extra hard to overcome the media bullshit? Smile at the people begging, people who look different, people who we are trained to find threatening. Work to challenge our prejudices, work to see the best in people. We should do it all year round but maybe it can be a habit.

Identify that is absolutely gorgeous, thank you. That post has really struck a chord. I'm going to show it to DH and the older DC and see what they think

DG is an atheist whilst myself and the 4 ragamuffins are born-again Christians, so we do a mixture of stuff at this time of year to try to keep us all happy. If you like the Christmas story, you might enjoy reading a chapter of ‘The Jesse Tree’ each day of advent, which traces the family tree of Jesus, but in a very touching, sweet tale. We also have an online advent calendar by Jacqui Lawson which is non-religious and provides a little animation or activity to do each day. We like to watch Carols at Kings, and also The Christmas Lectures. This year we’ve reduced the amount of £ we’re spending and decided to do the ‘Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read’ so that the focus is less on gifts and more about spending time together. We make sure each weekend we get some quality family time, so either playing a board game or cuddling up to watch a film with sweets/popcorn. We’ve also bought a few new board games ready to enjoy during the holiday, and are avoiding booking in lots of social engagements so that we’ve got time to put the 6 of us first - we only have a handful of relatives left, who all live a distance, so we generally feel it’s just us as a family against the world. We'll make sure we get out for some bracing walks in the fresh air, and are hoping to go wave to the queen at Sandringham on Christmas Day if the weather is ok, and are looking forward to our church Christmas service next weekend. Christmas is, above all, about spending time with people you love, so I guess focussing on that rather than gifts is going to make it feel more meaningful - celebrating God in nature, in our relationships, and in time spent enjoying each other's company. Sorry, didn’t mean for such a long post. 🥴

Yes, Mrs TP, totally agree! I forgot to mention that we either pay for a meal through Salvation Army or make a charity donation somewhere.

Christinge service, REverse advent clender, volunteer with a homeless/elderly luch group/food bank. Go awasailing.

Good tip @MrsTerryPratchett!

You also mentioned the Winter Solstice, which is what we celebrate. The rebirth of the sun, the return of the light and lengthening days and the promise of renewal and rebirth, symbolised by evergreens, candles and fairy lights.
Welcoming guests, giving of gifts and charity, daft games and the misrule element are all part of it.

We always attend Christmas carol service on Christmas Eve at our local town's CofE church. It's a very old church, going back to Norman times I think, and I like to think of all of the other families who have celebrated Christmas there in years gone by. It fascinates me that with life changing so quickly with new technology etc, that we are doing the same thing as other families hundreds of years ago.

I go to the Nine lessons and Carols each year in our local cathedral, because I am a huge fan of choral music. I turn my hearing off for the ghastly old testament readings blaming women for all the world's ills - such utter rubbish.

I was raised an atheist and as a farmers daughter the whole cycle of the seasons is clearly both eternal and more relevant than the birth of a baby ( no disrepect meant to Christians but human survival depends on the environment not religion).
Maybe go for a walk in the countryside ( proper countryside, not some country oak) Feel the cold,the dark, the mud. Do a farm visit and see the basics of land and food so you can appreciate the Christmas feast in the warmth and light.

@IdentifyasTired

Just beautiful.

I'm so often struck by the pockets of wisdom found on Mumsnet. Such an amazing bunch of people. Could run the world given half a chance, I'm sure.

If you do shoeboxes, make sure to check out the charity that runs them. Several are homophobic and evangelical. Likewise, I would avoid a PP's recommendation of supporting the Salvation Army, given their history of homophobia.

I am not being a killjoy, btw, and love the idea of giving things at Christmas time.

I also think you should do whatever you feel like in terms of carols. If you like old Latin carols because to you they are beautiful songs with no more meaning than a fairy tale, then just enjoy them. No one will mind.

Don't worry that was my first question! It's literally the school straight to the shelter. I work in the business. The shelter isn't religious.

@IdentifyasTired that’s such a good post. Thank you for sharing it. I’m also atheist and that perspective really resonated with me, especially the refugee aspect.

Identifyastired, thank you for your perspective and ideas. I would add that Christmas Day as the one day a year when shops are closed may given an opportunity to walk somewhere quiet that is usually busy.

My new favourite crush is Melanie Barnes, have just discovered her, she is a photographer and author, all about slow traditions and creating family traditions around Christmas. None of it is religious but its all mindful and careful and finds the joy in the small things around Christmas time - making, crafting, cooking, fires, walking - @keepingbees she is all about removing the stress, emphasising that less is more @MincePieForPresident have a read of her blog and see what you think or her 91 Magazine article. It's calming but joyful - here is the insta but you can link through.

www.instagram.com/p/B51z2CSF9du/