Can I avoid contact with midwives after birth?

[GiveMeABreakAlready]

I am currently pregnant with DC2. My pregnancy care and birth of DC1 was all through the NHS. I did not have a good experience and this time I have gone private for my pregnancy care and the birth.

I have been advised that after the birth I will be discharged to the care of my local NHS community midwife team (who I have not had any contact with during this pregnancy). I am wondering if anyone can tell me how many appointments I need to have with the community midwives, if any? I am worried that if I don’t engage with them at all that it could cause problems eg that I will be flagged up to social services as not engaging with health professionals.

I did not have a good experience with the community midwives team during my first pregnancy or immediately after my DC’s birth. Combined with horrible treatment on the postnatal ward meant that overall I had a very negative experience. Much of the issues with the community midwifery team I am certain were down to them being completely overstretched but the whole experience was very difficult (on top of a traumatic birth) and I don’t really want anything to do with them after DC is born.

Can you not continue to pay for private care?

You will need the care of midwives post birth though no? If you can't afford to continue with private care you'll have no choice. Could you arrange to meet with community midwife in advance and talk through your concerns? You may have a better experience this time, hope you do x

My private care is largely covered by insurance; the policy doesn’t cover any care after the birth. I could separately pay for a private midwife to come to me at home afterwards, I suppose what I’m wondering is whether the hospital are obliged to let my local NHS team know that I’ve given birth?

@Luzina next to no chance of getting an appointment with them to talk my worries through, sadly. They are so under resourced that my appointments felt so rushed and I never felt listened to last time round. I was v traumatised after the birth and struggling so was supposed to receive extra support from the midwife team but it just never happened. They didn’t show up to appointments and didn’t answer the phone.

One appointment usually for heel prick test

I expect they are obliged. Sorry you had a bad experience. With DC 1 it was every day for about 10 days as she had to check my stitches. With dc 2 they came round twice and then I was discharged. I think it all depends on the birth and how well your doing etc. Hopefully this time will positive for you op

Will I definitely need care from a midwife once I’m home from the hospital? DC1’s birth was complex and I wasn’t physically in good shape afterwards (failed instrumental delivery + emergency c section) so I have no idea what level of care I would need if I have a more straightforward birth.

The standard is for the first 10 days however every pregnancy, birth, baby, are different. If they think that you and baby are getting on well they won't see you as often.

Sorry that you didn't have a good experience with your first. If you can afford it I would try and go private for the aftercare too.

In Staffordshire I had 3 midwife appointments post birth (8m ago)

1. schedules 2nd day I was home - turned up at my house did some checks asked a few qu, weighed. 30/40mins Max

2. day 5 at surgery - same as above plus heal prick

3. 10day at surgery - same as 1 and was discharged

They only support u for the first 10days of the babies life so u don't need to worry about continual interference

Can you not get private midwives?

I had 3 post birth MW appointments. First the day after to check how we were doing, BFing etc, one to weigh and do heel prick test at 5 days and one to discharge at 5 weeks.

You are legally required to engage with midwives. They're actually allowed to gain entry (I guess they'd call the police) if you don't let them in.

It's literally 3x15 minute appointments. For the sake of avoiding SS involvement, just do it.

I think 3 would be standard - day after you get home, day 3 weight check and day 5 for blood spot screening. Of course some of those could be combined/skipped depending on how long you're in hospital. I had more because I wanted support with breastfeeding, and you might need more if you have any issues with stitches healing.

I think it varies depending on your level of need (and how good the midwife is). I didn’t see them very often after my first even though I’d had lots of complications.

The Second time around I obviously wasn’t coping very well, which the midwife picked up on. She visited me every day for weeks, took me to the doctors, arranged extra help with breastfeeding at both her hospital and with another service and generally checked on me every day with texts/phone calls and sometimes popping in after work if she hadn’t been able to fit me in that day. I didn’t really have a medical need for being seen so often but she wanted to support me. She was an absolute angel and a million miles away from the care I received after my first child. I wasn’t even supposed to see her, she was covering for another midwife but I asked whether I could see her instead of the midwife I had seen throughout my pregnancy and she sorted it for me. No idea how I would have coped without her, I still think about her now!

So try not to discount it too soon because you might be pleasantly surprised.

Unless there's complications there's no reason you need the midwife to visit - it's nice and reassuring if you want it but not essential (my second dd was born overseas, I was discharged after 18 hours, my next contact was my 6 week check up for me, and a 2 week check up for dd

You are legally required to engage with midwives. They're actually allowed to gain entry (I guess they'd call the police) if you don't let them in.

I’d like to see that law?

If i recall correctly, we saw a MW when DS was 3 days old and 5/7 days old because he was BFing. I know we continued to go for checks with him - nothing wrong at all - and our MW discharged us to the HV when he was 4 weeks old. So maybe 4 appointments?

Whilst I don't know about your experience, the priority if the health of you and your little one - if you can't afford to go private, then just grin and bare it xx

@IWorkAtTheCheesecakeFactory publichealthmatters.blog.gov.uk/2017/03/01/continuing-the-mandation-of-the-universal-five-health-visiting-checks/

I have had three births and each time the midwife only came once with the exception of ds3. Where I asked to see the midwife in a clinic. Because my son was early and in hospital, I didn't want to wait around the house for a midwife to eventually appear. I saw her, she pulled a thread from my scar and discharged me. After doing a tick box excerise. I did need to go to my gp afterwards for the 6 weeks check up. Ds3 had his heel check whilst in hospital and ds1 had it during the only visit a midwife came. I was given numbers to call if I needed further advice.

Absolutely no law in that link stating midwives have a legal right to gain entry to a woman’s house.

Most of my after care was focused mainly on babies checks. Obviously they spoke to me to make sure I was ok etc but it was very quick. With my second I'm sure I only saw them twice as they didn't turn up for one appointment!

@IWorkAtTheCheesecakeFactory ok fancy helping the OP out or you just here to pretend you know best?

I dreaded the midwife/health visitor after bad experiences with first two babies. However we had moved for numbers 3 and 4 and no one could have been kinder. Twice a day for the first ten days (not because she needed to but she wanted to) After that it was once a week at minimum and we would drink tea and eat cake while she had her baby cuddles. She was still 'popping in' when I left the area and youngest was 4 by then!

Lovely, lovely lady and I kept in touch with her for many years.

ok fancy helping the OP out or you just here to pretend you know best?

I’m not pretending I know best- I’m asking you to confirm you claim that a midwife has a legal right to enter OPs home. I think OP will find it helpful to know her legal rights as that’s what she’s asking. Can you back up your claim so she knows where she stands?