What wanky things do you actually quite like?

[Somebodystired]

I often see threads about popular things people don't like, and since it sometimes seems a bit trendy to NOT like popular things I wondered what slightly wanky things you DO like?

This thought popped into my head whilst eating duck pate on one of the three "artisan breads" I picked up from the bakery this morning. My DH always takes the piss out of my love for a posh bread but I care not a jot

DH is taking me to New York next year for a big anniversary. Now, we could just stay in a lovely hotel but that doesn't tick nearly enough wanky boxes for me. So I'm looking for something totally pretentious and niche on Air BnB, ideally in Tribeca. Any suggestions would be welcome, the more wanky the better.

L’Occitane soap and body stuff.
Wanky soap generally.
Hardback novels.
85% cocoa chocolate

Linen sheets. I can't put my finger on why I like them so much but I do.

I thought air bnb was illegal in NYC, it used to be anyway. It just means that you might end up getting conned, but they might have changed things since I was last there.

BUT, if you are into food then Chelsea market is great, I got a wee pot of truffle salt that I still cherish. Full of wanky bakeries too, well worth a visit!

I've been eating avocado on toast since about 2000; I like to think of myself as less of a wanker, more of an early adopter. Which phrase I know probably actually makes me even more of a wanker.

I keep putting Radio 4 on in the hope of catching something about people making quilts to techniques learned from obscure Puritan breakaway sects, or a mathematician talking about equations in Mozart's music, or something, but it always just seems to be droning on about investment tips or FGM, so I keep giving up and putting 6Music on instead. Thwarted wankery.

We bought a very limited print from an up and coming artist years ago (was a few hundred quid) now we get invited to his shindigs and mingle with real wankers.

Dear Peaceanddove, are we related?

I clearly remember sitting on the tube pretending to read a copy of the German ‘Sterne’ magazine, thus creating the illusion that I was both bilingual and politically aware. BUT! Inside the copy of ‘Sterne’ I was actually hiding a copy of ‘Woman’s Own’, and probably reading about how to crochet an egg timer and apply blue eyeliner just like Lady Di!

Total wanker [circa 1984].

These days I won't have my (loose leaf) tea without soya milk [circa 2019].

Ever since Nicky Haslam opined that scented candles were common, I have used frankincense crystals on a special heated tray. The crystals come from Oman and I have to declare them at customs so they don’t think I’m smuggling drugs

Two pianos? Pshaw! Harpsichord? Amateurs!

How about a spare room home studio? Keyboards, guitars, antique banjos, ukuleles, flute, clarinet, trumpet, a vintage military cornet, antique banjo-mandolin, viola, cello, basses, fife, penny whistles, chromatic and diatonic harmonicas, Tibetan Singing Bowl, mandolin, hurdygurdy, Uileann pipes, djembe, enough vintage recorders to set up my own recorder consort (and talking about it with friends) drum kit, untuned percussion, bodhran, bones...and I've been promised a washboard, autoharp and a real harp this year.

@mumdom

Nicky thinks that a lot of things are v common. Have you seen his tea towel?

@MitziK I think you must win this thread of wank with your ultimate wankiness!

I am living my best millennial life. I love yoga, avocado, flat whites, loose leaf tea, independent cafes, city breaks. Keep planning ‘to get into’ meditation, love a podcast, love a danish subtitled Scandi drama, have a reusable keep cup and chilli bottle. Am referred to as the ‘posh’ one at work, now I understand why!

Oh and I intend to create a crystal shelf dedicated to my crystals 😂

Don't you Pshaw me Mitzik! All those instruments cooped up in one room? Our best piano has a temperature and humidity controlled room all to itself, so stick that in your Uileann pipes and smoke it!
I think you will find that that I am far wankier.
(Actually we have a hygrometer and a thermometer and I have to mess around with the heating and a humidifier but that is still fairly wanky...)

Well, the majority do actually get out of the house to get played... yes, we are seen in public playing said wanky instruments - and what's more, we do the supremely wanky thing of changing/exchanging them during a set where necessary. And borrowing other instruments, including my first go on a monster of an antique accordion completely in public.

And I didn't mention the instruments in the other rooms. Or the 3am recording sessions in the wetroom (for the acoustics). Or the one that has a video filmed at 5am outside the MIL's cottage in the moors. Where I'm actually trying to not fall into the weirpool from being startled by a Kingfisher. But according to DP, that was far more fun that the gig in the Caribbean.

Wanky? Your hygrometer doesn't even register on the minor half diminished scale of instrumental wankiness...

Nope. You have just proved you are in fact a Serious Musician. Which is not wanky at all. I however, cannot play a note, thus rendering my instrument care supremely wanky.
(Though playing in the middle of the night is kind of weird, I grant you that).

I’ve been a road cyclist since 1988.

Loose leaf tea

Local cheeses

I'm in awe MitziK. I cannot play a single not on a single instrument. I am however, an avid and appreciative audience of all music.

Don't be - it's not something I meant to do, I just could, like somebody can curl their tongue up or wiggle their ears (neither of which I can). Can't drive, either. Or stand on one leg to take my socks off without falling over...

I'm just a wanker with reasonable pitch and rhythm. And very little sense of shame when there's an audience.

Water Babies (the only way forward for the wanky north London yummy mummies to teach their babies to swim)

I hate to break it to you but I did waterbabies in the north east with my now 12 year old. Of course the parents were all quite clear that we did it not to teach our children to swim (it doesn't) but because classes were so expensive it allowed us to meet like walleted minded parents.

Also very northern, we get organic milk in bottles on the doorstep (kids get it at school as well) that comes from a local rare breed of cattle (or, for the northerns: Acorn Dairy. No-one can do wanky like the northern middle classes.

I make my DCs pants (for their stockings). Often out of outgrown clothes. I'm just putting the poppers on their matching Christmas onesies. I am hoping this makes them realise Mummy makes their stocking fillers and I can stop pretending but DD thinks fairies and trolls are real so I'm not hopeful

applauds @purple**

I think we need a sans cheval board where we can compare techniques.

I should add I have had a total of four (4) riding lessons in my entire life and have never gone beyond a trot. And that was only because the horse felt like going for a trot, not because it was what I wanted the creature to do.

We buy raw milk in glass bottles from our milkman. We leave empty yoghurt pots for him to put over the tops to stop the birds pecking for the cream.

Northern as owt

I have not the budget for most of this thread (I have serious food envy now).

But I have made my own Christmas wreaths from woven cornus and home-grown herbs and greenery I got from the hedgerows. Last year I collected it with my toddler and we listened to the Radio 3 carol competition in the car while we drove around. In fact I spent an inordinate amount of last year driving DD around the countryside listening to radio 3, because I like foraging and she was a sleep refuser.

Some combination of these things is wanky, I reckon.

I have a feeling this thread is going to cost me money. Probably in White Company.