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Original poster

Help please - dirty knickers!

76 replies

wispawispa · 04/12/2019 15:53

Name changed because I feel a bit icky writing about poo!

I need help with my DD who is reception aged, coming home with dirty knickers everyday 😟. She never has accidents, but is absolutely rubbish at wiping because her poo is so squidgy and gets everywhere. Today she had to be helped because she had smeared it all up her back and her school T-shirt. I feel sad that she can't keep clean.

She did seem to get better for a while because I removed milk from her diet (she said it made her tummy hurt) but have been using lacto-free because she seemed fine with that. Now the problem is back though.

Please don't say that I need to teach her how to wipe - I have done this for so long, but there's so much mess that she seems to struggle. It's almost like diarrhoea, but daily. I've been to the GP who basically said it's one of those things and that dairy intolerance is a bit of a fad!

She always seems to go after dinner at school, and rarely at home before or after when I could help her. I've thought about asking her to wait, but don't want to cause other problems.

Does anyone have any advice please 🤞?

OP posts:
BillywigSting · 04/12/2019 15:56

I would honestly go for a second opinion, your gp sounds very dismissive.

Lactose intolerance certainly isn't a 'fad' Hmm

In the meantime could you cut dairy out of her diet completely and see if that makes a difference if it has done in the past?

icantfind · 04/12/2019 15:59

Go dairy free. Lactose free still contains cows milk protein that causes just as many intolerances.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/12/2019 16:02

I agree with Billy.
You need a second opinion. If your Dr has said “Lactose intolerance is just a fad.”
Then he must be wearing his Doctors suit out of his dressy up box that his mum got him.
When she gets much older. It’s going to be embarrassing for her.

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/12/2019 16:03

Dressing not dressy.

BaronessBomburst · 04/12/2019 16:08

Agree with the above posters. In the meantime could you send her in with a packet of moist toilet tissue, and a plastic bag with clean knickers in her school bag. Then she can pop on clean underwear if she needs to and wrap the soiled ones up hygienically.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 04/12/2019 16:15

I agree with all pp about getting a 2nd opinion. Also second BaronessBomburst & see if you can send her with wet wipes, nappy sacks (for her to put the dirty wipes & pants, if needed, in) & clean underwear for now. I do this with ds(4), he can wipe but often ends up on steroids during cold weather because he has bad asthma. They make his stools loose & difficult to clean with normal toilet tissue. School are happy with the arrangement & he feels a lot more confident knowing that he has a spare pair of pants if needed.

Disfordarkchocolate · 04/12/2019 16:18

Is she eating dairy free at school? I'd try oatly milks instead of lacro free.

VisionQuest · 04/12/2019 16:18

Well your GP is useless for a start referring to lactose intolerance as "a fad" ConfusedHmm

If I have too much milk or ice cream I have the most horrendous diarrhoea.

Original poster
wispawispa · 04/12/2019 16:23

Thank you all. Her stools are so loose that she just can't reasonably get clean. I'll try and get her in at the GP tomorrow, and send some wipes in until then.

She isn't dairy free at school, but she only has lacto-free there too. It seemed to be working so I didn't take it any further, but I will now. I'll get oat or almond milk, and cut out yogurt etc.

Thank you for replying - I really feel like I'm letting her down at the minute!

OP posts:
SnooperTrooper88 · 04/12/2019 16:25

Lactose intollerence is definitley not a 'fad'
But obviously it's not just milk. There's lactose in a lot of things you don't even realise, including a lot of medicines!

Like someone said as well, Milk protein is also another big thing.

Go for a second opinion!

PanannyPanoo · 04/12/2019 16:34

Lactose intolerance is quite unusual - it generally occurs in children temporarily following high dose anti biotics after serious infections.

Milk protein allergy is more common and chronic loose stools is often an indicator, if she has a non igE mediated allergy - affecting the bowels not the immune system so no hives/swelling/anaphlactis there is no test to prove or disprove. You could try cutting out all dairy for a month or 2 and see if there is any improvement.

YukoandHiro · 04/12/2019 16:35

It might not be lactose but milk protein - a different constituent of the milk. I would try going dairy free again.

Kyriesmum1 · 04/12/2019 16:35

I have a LO with a fairy intolerance. She can't have lactose free stuff as it's the dairy element that affects her.

Cut all dairy from her diet and go back to go and if they refuse to help request a referral to a dietician. One of my other children can't have full fat milk but is fine on semi skimmed. Also ask the school to help as they can provide an alternative to dairy.

X

BillywigSting · 04/12/2019 16:38

Oh op you're not letting her down at all, the fact you are on here fretting over it and getting her in with the gp again tomorrow proves you are being pro active in trying to help her!

QueSera · 04/12/2019 16:42

What is the rest of her diet like? Maybe she's getting too much fiber eg fruit, that is causing loose stool? Def get a second medical opinion, good luck OP

TeaForTara · 04/12/2019 16:42

Love the fairy intolerance! Damn those fairies, I can't stand them!

JoGose · 04/12/2019 16:43

I’d get an appointment with the GP and in the mean time cut out all dairy as that may be the source of the issue. Your GP needs to sort it though. Is it not that she isn’t wiping, is it that her stools are loose so she may not notice she has passed them?

Sweetpotatoaddict · 04/12/2019 16:43

If she’s opening her bowels once a day I’m not entirely sure there is an issue with her bowels. I’m not saying that to be dismissive, if she is opening her bowels once a day after lunch that sounds like a reasonable routine to me. However if she is going 6 times a day then she has an issue . It does sound like a difficult situation though.

june2007 · 04/12/2019 16:43

Talk to her teachers. Make sure they are aware. Maybe you need to put inn a care plan. Would cut out the milk/lactose see if this helps. Perhaps talk to school nurse. I feal your pain.

Original poster
wispawispa · 04/12/2019 16:46

@JoGose she is definitely not 'leaking' - she is clean before she goes to the toilet, but the poo is so mushy that it sort of sticks to her bum and the first wipe spreads it everywhere! It becomes unmanageable!

OP posts:
LightTripper · 04/12/2019 16:56

This might be TMI but I'd also question whether she is holding. If you look up Encopresis, constipation can manifest as leaking or very soft poos (because it's what escapes around the blockage IYSWIM - blech). If she's trying to stop it coming out or control it then her bum cheeks will be less open and more likely to get smeared, making the clean up hard (sorry for the graphic description!).

Either way its really something for GP (when DD had Encopresis we eventually overcame it through a long period of using a stool softener/Movicol type stuff - which seems counterintuitive when the poo was already soft - but it meant it was always comfy and eventually she got out of the habit of tensing).

Does your DD ever worry about it hurting or say she doesn't want to go?

In any case, I'd go back to GP (or try a different GP at your Practice if the first one was dismissive). I'd go with no agenda re: lactose or anything else - just explain the problem and hopefully you'll get a referral to somebody who can run tests and get to the bottom of the problem, or advise things to try as a first step before running tests if those don't work.

SerialGoogler · 04/12/2019 16:59

I had this with DS1. We're now waiting on biopsy results for coeliac disease. I know gluten is an issue just need to rule coeliac in or out. I thought it was toddler diarrhoea until he was definitely not a toddler anymore.
It's heartbreaking when they can't clean themselves up at school. Push your GP to investigate properly, I've found GPs not less familiar with coeliac disease than I am now. It will be food issue of some kind I am sure.

IaIa3 · 04/12/2019 17:00

Does she go to the toilet at the same time on a weekend ie after dinner?

Bluerussian · 04/12/2019 17:03

Tell her to make sure she puts toilet paper in the loo before she goes, that does stop it splashing upwards. Then to wait until she is quite sure she's finished and take her time wiping front to back - but not up her back - several times. Maybe she could carry some fem wipes to finish the clean up, I don't know that's up to you. She is still very little but she might be happy to.

Agree if her stools continue to be very soft, get another opinion. It could well clear up on its own though.

Good luck!

Molly2010 · 04/12/2019 17:05

Something you may not have thought of is does she spit in the sink after brushing her teeth? Or is she swallowing?
My DD had loose stools up until the day she learnt to spit during brushing. Now much better! I’m sure it was something to do with the toothpaste!

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