Can't do anything right for nightmare client-massively losing confidence

[nannyplum56]

I'm in a senior role in a creative industry, and have been working with a horrendous client for about 6 months now. I am very experienced, have a good reputation and take a lot of pride in my work... but honestly I can't do a thing right for this woman. Literally every single thing she is not happy with. I know it isn't just me as other senior people have resigned or gone off on stress leave after working with her, so I try to rationalise it but I'm really struggling.

My confidence has taken such a knock that I questioning everything I do, massively overthinking everything trying to covering all the points that she might raise...but still I get it wrong every time 😫 Sometimes I agree with her points (and then think HOW did I get that wrong?!) and others I really don't, but she doesn't like to be challenged.

I've had difficult clients before but honestly I don't know what to do with this one... I am working late every night trying to make things better but it doesn't seem to help.

And the more anxious I get, the more mistakes I make, which doesn't help...

Any advice on how I can try to manage this?! I have young kids so really need to sort this out so I can be more present for them.

I def think some clients have a curse. Nothing you can do except see if you can move away from her stuff or hope she uses another company. Or else can you speak to her honestly? Not sure what you'd say!
I had one like this once, literally everything went wrong for no real reason - def felt like a curse!

Can you resign the account? Or adjust the fee to reflect the buggeration factor? Or have an open conversation with her about how challenging it is to receive a lot of negative feedback and you’re checking that she’s happy with the service? Some people are like this and then really surprised that other folks are left feeling bad, when actually they’re really happy with the service they get.

Are you freelance? If not, would take this to your manager for advice and support.

If she is difficult it isn’t solely down to you, so try not to go down the road of losing confidence.

I think the fact others have resigned due to her should make you feel more confident, really. Is there any way you can have an honest conversation with her? What is it about her that's difficult?

I feel your pain! I also work in a creative industry and have had my share of difficult clients over the years - most of whom I am ashamed to admit I have handled very badly, so you're not alone.
People I know who have handled this kind of situation better, are usually pretty assertive and prepared to challenge the client's behaviour - e.g with a session where they call out the clients behaviour /obvious dissatisfaction and ask how they can work together to improve relationships.
The main thing to remember is that this kind of behaviour from a client is coming perilously close to bullying and you don't need to tolerate it.
Good luck!

Why is anyone still working with her if she’s such a bitch? To the point others have gone off sick? Christ.

Can you speaker to her, saying there seems to be a problem as she not happy with you and offer a replacement?

Is it a situation like editor-author, where you have to give advice on changes to her work, or is she coming to your company to buy something?

You don't have to accept every client and it is not in your best interests to do so. Blaming clients will bad mouth their last contractor to you, and they will bad mouth you to their next contractor.

I'd definitely be adding an idiot tax ...

I think you need to find a way to end the relationship. It isn't great for you to be feeling like that and it's enabling her to be more difficult.

If you’re working for an agency, why have they not sacked her as a client?

What would happen if you said to her that you’re a professional with a reputation and experience and that if she does not value your input that you can’t help her and that she might be happier with another agency/set up.

Explain you are concerned her needs aren't/can't be met and and would she like to work with someone else. I hate people like this.

I think most of us have been there with nightmare clients. I always find that the ones who make up less than 5% of my total revenue are the ones who expect blood out of a stone, question everything (to the point that you’re questioning yourself- and wondering; if they’re such an expert, why don’t they do it them self?!), and are the most likely ones you’ll be chasing for payment.

Is this an important account for the business? There does come a point when a company needs to say ‘sorry this isn’t working for us, but we believe XX may be a better fit for you’

Have you spoken to management about this?

clientsfromhell.net/
You are not alone...

Are you freelance or in an agency?

If the latter then enlist support.

If former then I suppose it’s how much you’d like to retain her as a client.

I think challenging it is probably the way to go. I'm not sure this relationship is working, we'd get better results if we worked like x. etc etc

My natural style is people pleaser, and I've found working with a manager who isn't has really helped. I'll moan about someone and he'll say 'what'll fix it?' and then tell me to tell them.

Are you a freelancer?

I am and on the odd occasion that I've had a client like this I simply back out of the arrangement. I'm confident enough that 99% of my clients are pleased with my work to not tolerate clients being awkward simply for the sake of being awkward.

I make sure I have a written stream of communication and will always suggest ways to adapt to better fit them but if they choose to speak to me like shit then no, don't need that, move on.

It's taken many years but I've learned that I don't need clients like this. There are plenty more lining up and funnily enough, not one of these 'rogue' clients has bad mouthed me within the industry. In fact one was positively surprised when I said I wasn't going to renew the contract as she thought it had been a really successful and productive partnership - not from my point of view of being patronised and got at for weeks it wasn't!

Thanks so much for all the replies.

I work in an agency and as a department we have talked a lot about resigning the account. The problem is that it's a massive account-with nearly £1m, and it's strategically important too, for various reasons. Our MD will now allow us to resign it at this point, although he is supportive.

We have tried to talk to her about ways of working etc but somehow it never seems to go quite to plan-mainly because she uses the opportunity to complain further about the team and it never feels as though we have come out with much of a resolution, except that we must do better.

She does occasionally acknowledge that she is not the easiest client-but I'm sure she doesn't realise the impact she has on us all. It's just all about her and how difficult it is to do her incredibly busy job when she's not getting what she needs from us.

One thing I'm very aware of is that I'm a senior leader in the team and am not behaving like a good leader at all because I'm letting the frustration get to me-and am letting it show.

Ugh!

Sorry, I meant our MD will NOT allow us to resign it...

Hi, we have had clients similar in the past. You need to identify the issues she has and list them out. Is it a problem with the quality of the work? Is she always asking for changes? If this is the problem there needs to be a set/strict process in place with agreed sign off points. If she signs off on an idea and you go ahead and develop it further then she wants to back track completely - she can - but it's a change and requires additional payment and rescheduling.

If the issues are personal and she isn't happy with the way you work - then she needs to explain /scope out exactly how she wants to work. Try again with the meeting you set up. You need a very experienced chair to run the meeting. At the beginning you need to agree the objectives and if she tries to derail it keep restating the objective of the meeting and get back on track.

A £1m client can quickly become a liability if all the work has to be redone.

If it's about the prestige of the client and not the money they bring in - try giving her dedicated staff - almost let her manage them and the delivery (if necessary sit them in her office - like a consultancy) - and then she has no one to blame if it doesn't work.

And don't forget - you may be the senior leader - but you have a manager too - they are there to help you through difficult situations - that what they are paid for. So make sure you get them involved with your plans - have them agree your plans and if your plans don't help - get them to come up with a solution.

At the end of the day - this is only work. You are only one person. You can only do your best. Your best is good enough for everyone else.

My husband is having the same problem. He is incredibly resilient but his confidence has taken a huge knock. The only thing keeping him going is the knowledge that it will be over soon. During this time I am trying to encourage him to do what he knows will boost his mental health: go running, eat well, remember the times in his career that he has been successful.

As a freelancer do you need this client? Given the impact on you I would be tempted to ditch them.

I wouldn’t usually advocate this, but in your case, I think the MD needs to step up and get involved with the client. At least then he might recognise that she isn’t worth the toll she is taking on pretty much all of his staff.

The MD can do a how’s it going call to try and smooth it out.

Perhaps she’s feeling the account demands more resource and picking holes in general.

Not sure of course but it’s worth smoothing out as much as possible

Another one for getting the md involved at this stage. What a nightmare. I’m freelance and this is firmly “Here’s your money back, off you fuck” territory.