Can't do anything right for nightmare client-massively losing confidence

[nannyplum56]

I'm in a senior role in a creative industry, and have been working with a horrendous client for about 6 months now. I am very experienced, have a good reputation and take a lot of pride in my work... but honestly I can't do a thing right for this woman. Literally every single thing she is not happy with. I know it isn't just me as other senior people have resigned or gone off on stress leave after working with her, so I try to rationalise it but I'm really struggling.

My confidence has taken such a knock that I questioning everything I do, massively overthinking everything trying to covering all the points that she might raise...but still I get it wrong every time 😫 Sometimes I agree with her points (and then think HOW did I get that wrong?!) and others I really don't, but she doesn't like to be challenged.

I've had difficult clients before but honestly I don't know what to do with this one... I am working late every night trying to make things better but it doesn't seem to help.

And the more anxious I get, the more mistakes I make, which doesn't help...

Any advice on how I can try to manage this?! I have young kids so really need to sort this out so I can be more present for them.

Yes I think it's probably time for the MD to get more involved. I slightly dread what she'll say about me, but I guess I'll just have to stuck it up. I've never really been in this position before and it's making me feel like a total failure 😞

Don’t feel bad op, you’re feeling the heat right now but I’m sure pretty much everyone who has got to where you are has had a client who is similar.

It’ll be a testament to you when you’re on the other side. Doesn’t feel like it probably but it will be ok when it passes.

Suggest some techniques to manage your own reactions and thoughts here.

Your key contact at the client is unhappy with the service. You are currently thinking that you, personally, “are a failure”. There are lots and lots of other explanations for the situation.

Even if the service and / or your personal performanxe HAS been poor, you can’t go backwards. It will be easier for you to mitigate the problem if your attention is calmly focused on that, minimising internal psychological drama!

I learned to do this - to some extent at least - through counselling when had a nightmare boss!

You could outline the key upcoming deliverables and decision points, consider handling internally, and agree an informal delivery and handling plan.

If you think any of her negative feedback was fair, and impact on outcomes, seek to address those things.

If she has numerous complaints, ask her to prioritise her issues and suggest solutions.

I think you've gone past the point of no return! You have all my sympathies - I had this with one client and in the end I could do nothing right and I ended up sobbing in my boss's office . No client, in over over 35 years ever had that effect on me.

Go to your MD and tell him you have had enough! If the client is known to be difficult then they will know it's not down to you. (Try and go in with a possible solution if you can though!)

@Loopytiles you are so right and I think the way I'm thinking about/responding to this in my own head is seriously exacerbating the problem and making it far more difficult for me to improve things.

Maybe I should try to find a coach or something to help me manage my own emotions with it all, I definitely think that would help!