You're a burglar, BUT...

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

Instead of stealing things, you do things to mildly inconvenience your victims.
What do you do?

I'd rearrange all the kitchen cupboards.

I am feeling so much better about my pigsty ofva house after reading these. Half of this stuff wouldn't work on me as, for example, I don't pair socks, the ironing rarely makes it from the basket to the eardrobes and my booms are already randomly arranged on the shelves. Someone breaking in and tidying up woukd really confuse me though.
My "D"H did once retune all the presets on my car radio to Radio 4 though and I hate listening to talking when I am driving.

Wardrobes
Books
I'm awaiting surgery on my hand. That's my excuse and I am sticking to it.

Drink their wine

Rip the top of the boxes of cereal so they dont close properly.
Sprinkle a fine layer of sand around the place, including the bath so everything is all gritty.
Empty the hand washes in the bathrooms.
Make the rugs all lumpy so they stumble over them.
Hide their keys.
Set alarms on their phones at random times throughout the day and night.
Change the language to chinese on all possible electronics.

I like this game.

I was going to say swap the labels over on the medicines but on second thoughts that might actually kill somebody so best not

My toddler would be brilliant at this. He has a way of entirely undoing and efforts I make to clean or tidy up and his capacity for creative chaos making is remarkable. And quick too. In a swift half an hour making mess he could give most people a nervous breakdown. I think I was close the day he left all the felt tip pens without lids on in the washing basket and stained everything a variety of colours. The day he tipped talcum powder and baby oil all over all of my toiletries was grim too

In every picture on display photo shop Ed Sheeran in

Send DS to play football on a 3G pitch and then bring him along as an accomplice. Get him to take off hit football boots, socks and shin pads in different areas of the house as usual scattering thousands of black rubber bits everywhere.

Ask my toddler. She’s got that many tricks up her sleeve it’s ridiculous. She loses things for periods of at least 6 months and then just appears back with them like she just found it in the usual place.

I’d take all the ring pulls off any tins or cans.

Shake up theirs cans of coke and put them back in the fridge.

Put their debit card behind their Oystercard in their wallet so they end up tapping in with both, and have loads of incomplete journeys to cancel.

Go through their dirty washbasket and put tissues in all the pockets.

Prawns in the curtain poles.

Change the alarm clock time so you're late for work
Melt all the ice so no ice for the next g&t or whatever
Mix up all the coats on the coat hooks in the cloakroom
Put all the dvds in the wrong box

put the books out of alphabetical order.

having taken a large enough receptacle with me - swap around the extra-virgin olive oil, the ordinary cooking olive oil and the vegetable oil so they are all in the wrong bottles.

rewire the hover so it blows dust all over the room.

replace one random key on each keyring with an almost- identical but actually different key.

remove the sparkers from the hob gas rings but replace them with something else that makes the same noise (but makes no spark)

@DontCallMeShitley - leave those socks alone!
I would redistribute the tea, coffee and sugar canisters.
Ditto pasta, rice, etc. Take the labels of canned goods and switch them about. So beans might become soup. Soup might become tinned tomatoes etc.
Loving everyone's small evil genius on this thread!

Reset their clocks

Take all the labels off all the tins in the food cupboard.

I'd put glitter in shoes

Sew prawns into the hems of curtains 😆

Take all the labels off their tins

Ooh, vicious! 😂

Put holes in the bottom of all the flour/sugar bags.
Tip all spices/herbs onto the shelf they’re stored on (can you tell I just cleaned my spice box?!)
Remove one screw from each plug socket/light switch. Looks awful!

Confetti in the car heater matrix. ( Yes, someone did this to us and we were still getting spattered intermittently with bits of papier mache months later!)

@Ihatesandwiches do you hate pairing socks then? (I hate hanging them to dry).

superglue the toilet seat shut.

replace leave in 3 mins conditioner with hair removal cream

hide sardines under the sofa

Shake up all the cans or bottles of fizzy drink.
Adjust the fill sensor on the toilet cisterns so they don’t refill after flushing.
Smear windows and mirrors.
Anything with sprinkle holes like salt or spices take the top off, pop in a bit of cling film, close lid.
Change their semi skimmed milk for skimmed or normal for semi skimmed depending on what they have normally.
Seasonal - open their chocolate advent calendar slide out the tray thing, take out all the chocs then put it all back together.

Move their bookmarks to a different spot in each book.

Leave a single coffee cup complete with milky dregs out of sight in every room of the house, to be found days or weeks later.

Tear out the last page of all of their books
Take the laces out of all of their shoes
Take the buttons off their shirts/coats