Least favourite Christmas songs and carols

[wanderings]

Come hither, Scrooges, let's have a bah humbug musical moan. Which seasonal songs make your heart sink every time you hear the first few notes? My nominations are:

Santa baby - just plain ugh.

Santa Claus is comin' to town: no wonder some children are scared of Santa!

Last Christmas.

I wish it could be Christmas every day, for obvious reasons.

Slow ones, like I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, and chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

Any rendition of a carol where the rhythm has been totally messed up, especially if it's sung slowly and with no accompaniment.

Also the really sad ones: Christmas shoes, The little boy that Santa Claus forgot, the cat carol. Warning - do not listen to the cat carol unless you really want to be bawling your eyes out, especially if you love cats, it is the saddest Christmas song I have ever heard, by a long way, and makes grown men cry. It claims to have a happy ending, but it really doesn't. Before you Google, you have been warned!

I love carols, except away in a manger (because I've heard it so many times), and I saw three ships: how did three ships sail into landlocked Bethlehem? I've just checked on the map, and I can't even see a river.

Mistletoe and wine-awful awful song sung in such a smug way. It’s one of the few songs I HAVE to turn off. The others being Nothing compares to you, and anything by Bruce Springsteen.

Yes, Mistletoe and Wine and When a Child is Born are a bucket load of shit marinaded in piss.

Any other religious-type chart songs. How dare they try and drag religion into Christmas!

Respect to you @wanderings good existential answer 👍

Why did I not heed OPs warning? Just listened to the cat carol while my cat was on my lap. He recently had a traumatic experience and has needed a lot of coddling. It is freezing outside.

It got messy.

Oooh WHY did I play The Cat's Carol . I have two CPL cats who were born in a garden so though they weren't living out last year , they were near as damn it . (They are spoiled thoroughly now)

I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day - Wizzard . Bloody hate that

All I Want For Christmas - Mariah Carey

Little Drummer Boy - by Little Jimmy Osmond (he bloody crucifies it) I like the Bing Crosby & David Bowie proper version.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town- Bruce Springstein

Fairytale of New York if massacred by Ronan "You're Cheap'n' you're haggard" Keating .

LOVE FToNY by The Pogues . It is is favourite song ever , not just Christmas , all time . Judge away .

I quite like Saviours Day - Cliff Richard - ahh shoot me

Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses. Sets my teeth on edge.

Jingle Bells - such facile rubbish. It's not even a Christmas song, it was written for Thanksgiving.

Also, not actually a song (I really hope nobody has set it to music), but The Night Before Christmas poem. Such appalling doggerel.

Another one for Feliz Navidad. Two verses of two lines repeated over and over and over and over......UGH! I actually change the radio when it comes on. Although DS2 thought the line was "Fleas lah di dah" and DS1 used to sing "Police got your dog".

I don't mind "All I Want for Christmas is You" as long as it's NOT sung by Mariah Carey. She sets my teeth on edge.

I may be a dog person, but I am NOT going to listen to the Cat's Carol. Just from other posters I can tell it would be too much for me!

Oh, and Must Be Santa by Bob Dylan. Enough to give adults nightmares - although that might just be Bob's bandsaw voice.

Well, I'll just come here to say there's never been a Christmas song like Another rock n roll Christmas....and now I'll disappear 🙈

I’d never heard of the Cat Carol before, but just googled the lyrics.
Jesus flipping wept! What sort of sicko writes a song like that? A Christmas song, FGS!

I really hate that Paul McCartney one. So dreary and half hearted. Also the Mariah Carey one.

Anything Cliff Richard sings is particularly likely to make me want to rip my ears off, but Saviours Day is utter tripe.

I don't like Baby It's Cold Outside. My inner feminist screams 'respect her fucking boundaries!!' whenever I hear the lyrics

All of them! I don't do Christmas songs, hate them all, don't listen to radio this time off year, avoid shops, have never brought a Christmas album.

Just find them, twee and cheesy. Bah humbug

I just listened to the Cat Carol and am now crying.... at how terrible it is.

It sounds like it was written by a 7yo with English as a third language.

AdoptedBumpkin
The holly and the ivy. Pointless
Was that an intentional pun? Holly... pointless...? Just me? Either way, you might enjoy the Kate Rusby humorous alternative/parody version “The ivy and the holly” instead.

Oh, the Ivy and the Holly. You’d know if you have seen them. Of all the
Trees that grow in the wood, there’s no good points between them

The absolute, absolute most violently sickening is the soulless, cynical marketing of "Wonderful Dream (The Holidays are Coming)" by Melanie Thornton, better known as the full length Coca Cola Christmas ad song. Here's a choice snippet:

"There's a source of inspiration in the air
Let the magic dry your tears and heal your heart

A wonderful dream of love and peace for everyone
Of living our lives in perfect harmony

A wonderful dream of joy and fun for everyone
To celebrate a life where all are free"

Because, yeah. Soft drinks are all about that.

The Angel Gabriel. I spent 5 years in choir at secondary school. We sang it every single year. I can't stand listening to it anymore.
That said, I don't have the same feelings about the perennial Ding Dong Merrily on High. This is partly because the box the copies were kept in was labelled "Ding Dong"...

I frickin' ❤️ Last Christmas. The jumper. The hair. The snow. The faux heterosexuality.

What's the connection between Little Drummer Boy and the moors murders?

What's the connection between Little Drummer Boy and the moors murders?

When they tape recorded one of their murders, they used Little Drummer Boy as an introductory soundtrack.

I can't stand Fairytale of New York. Sounds like a drunk person drivelling on. Will change the radio if it comes on and like someone else said, I will judge people if they say it is their favourite Christmas song!

I agree that Fairytale of New York and Stay Another Day are Dire.

Feliz Navidad

That's exactly it, it sounds like mumbling drunk!

Always reminds me of Paul Whitehouse in the fast show.... "Bmkkgfcbnnjug...... TIGERS......gnkjgghhjiyffvbj.......SHOT IN THE EYE"

Glad to see so many hates for Fairy Tale of New York,my family think I'm mad because they love it. I like anything I can dance to.