At what age...

[SquashedFlyBiscuit]

Im contemplating a return to work and thinking ahead the next few years...

At what age would you expect a child to come home from school, let themselves in and wait half an hour for a parent? An hour?

What about walking home a bit later (say schoolclub finishes 4 .15) and similarly waiting half an hour for a parent.

Would it make a difference if it was only twice a week?

Looking ahead, at what age do they do their own thing afterschool and you just expeft them to contact you at some point/let you know what time they are in/if they are at someones house?

What age do you let them potter at home in the holidays when youre at work?

I had an unusual childhood and I've loved parenting small children but this next stage seems unknown! In my ideal world I'd be in every day after school...

My son has just started letting walking home and letting himself into houses his own until I get home from work at 5pm( 2 days a week as I work part time) he is 11 and first year of high school. He phoned me when he is walking home and I have a camera set up so can see him in house from my phone........ we have a key box with a code so he can get house key out as he would probably lose key at school...he just goes straight on his Xbox.
Have left him for a full day last school hols... fab neighbour who walks my dog looks out for him and can manage to get home on my lunch hour to check on him.

Excuse mistakes

I hadn't thought of a keybox! Id got as far as "hiddennkey in garden" but removing responsibility altogether is genius!

I would say probably around 11-12. I was home by myself every school holiday all day from around that age. Also walked a mile home (sometimes walked to school in the morning as well) and waited maybe 2-3 hours for my mum to get home. If you have a trustworthy, mature child maybe 10.

It’s great!... he has already lost his locker key so knew it was a good idea.

Last term of year 6 we started letting ours have a key and come home alone for a short while. By year 7 it was pretty regular for up to a couple of hours although not for the first few weeks of secondary, when I wanted to be there in case they wanted a chat about the new school.

But if you want to return to work, there are usually lots of options for how to handle afternoon hours, so I wouldn’t be put off by waiting for some magical age of maturity.

However it does depend on where you live and who might be around in case of trouble.

Mind I dont currently know anyone who waits 2-3 hours for a parent (but I am aware we live in a small town...) Frustratingly most either have younger children in afterschool care/ helpful grandparents/ flexible jobs so one parent is home... so my perspective is a little squewed!

Mind - I already work a little but its a specific (low paid!) job Im wondering about and just pondering what the options are. There aren't lots of options I can see once they're 11 and I will have to pay for a younger child. So its more pondering "what" and 'when" rather than "if."

I think from high school. I got myself home from high school (two buses) and waited at home but I never did from primary.

Just looking around where I live as I do the school run every day mostly on foot, I don’t think I ever see primary school children without an adult but I hardly ever see secondary school children with one (I guess those who get picked up go by car).

MyOther, yr 6 to yr 7 is such a leap that sounds a good idea. So a couple of hoours meaning in at 4ish and a parent in at 6?

Would they go in and out/visit friends in that time?

I think most secondary children (apart from those driven, I know a few of those!) walk home, but I'm curious how long they're home alone for when they get in, or if there's a parent bumbling around.

At primary mine got home about 3.30. At the end of year 6 I would sometimes get home about 4.30 or even 5 and that seemed fine.

At secondary they get home at 4 and I am generally home by 5.30. They message me if they are going out again or if a friend is coming round. And our neighbour on the same street has a spare key just in case.

DS is 11 and in year 6. We have first/middle/high schools (we’re in the U.K.) and he started middle school in September.

4 days a week he goes to homework club which runs til 5pm, then walks home. He then has half an hour or so with a packet of biscuits and a PlayStation until DH or I get in. One of us has to be back by then, to get DD from first school wrap around club.

We have a key safe by the back door and SS phones me once he’s in the house. And a very well stocked biscuit tin!

It’s working very well. DS is thriving on the independence. Because of the middle school system fro Y6-Y8, it’s is normal for 10-11 year olds to go to/come home from school by themselves here. DS has a 5 min walk, but other children get buses - the furthest catchment villages are about 5 miles away.

Thanks MyOther - being around beginning of yr 7 seems a good plan.

I'm not sure I'd want friends round in my house without me just yet but maybe whent they're teens .

My eldest is yr 6 at the moment and its hard to visualise the shift to secondary!

BikeRunSki, sounds fab. V normal for 10-11 year olds to walk home here, but I'm not so sure how many go home to a parentless house. Lots of part time workers/flexible working/sahm/grannies in my immediate circle.

I am contemplating almost exactly that next term - finishing afterschool club 4.15, walking home alone and waiting for me for half an hourish. That would actually be unusual here but I think child would be fine...

And then thinking ahead to secondary when it migt be a longer gap if they come straight home.

For my DCs, I'd be happy with y6. 4 min walk home, one fairly easy road to cross. Once they're in the house, they're happy. My 8 yo is happier at being left for 10-15 mins rather than being lugged out for minor, local errands. He has sensory issues and is much happier quietly at home than he was at after school club.

My current notion is to RTW by supply teaching so I only have school hours plus commute so the time alone is build up more gently than full on teaching hours straight away.

I contemplated supply teaching... but not sure if I can do it!

Bear in mind the seasons and how dark it is getting at 4.15 now. Obviously it depends on where you live and how far the walk is. We're in a village so in winter I'd personally prefer them to come straight home from school and be at home a bit longer rather than go to study club.

Should add, we live a 25 minute walk from school so quite a bit different to BikeRunSki's 5 mins.

I was a single working mum and my now 17yr old has been coming home on his own since year 6. As I wasn't in until 6.30/7 he would also cook dinner so it was ready for when I got home.

Wow donkir he sounds fab!

Hello - I hadnt thought about that but its a good point. Im not sure if Im ready to leap to an hour and a half at home alone yet though. Although it sounds like people do in yr7. My friends with older children are all home...!

Y7 I think is usual but if they’re only home alone for 30-60 minutes and the school is close with no busy roads a sensible child would be ok from y5 I think.
DD is y5 and can walk to the corner shop by herself and be left for 30 minutes or so.
I work 3 days a week so she has a childminder for after school for now but from y7 she will have to bring herself home and be by herself for a couple of hours 3 days a week. We have good neighbours who will keep an eye out for her and she can go to if she’s worried.