At what age...

[SquashedFlyBiscuit]

Im contemplating a return to work and thinking ahead the next few years...

At what age would you expect a child to come home from school, let themselves in and wait half an hour for a parent? An hour?

What about walking home a bit later (say schoolclub finishes 4 .15) and similarly waiting half an hour for a parent.

Would it make a difference if it was only twice a week?

Looking ahead, at what age do they do their own thing afterschool and you just expeft them to contact you at some point/let you know what time they are in/if they are at someones house?

What age do you let them potter at home in the holidays when youre at work?

I had an unusual childhood and I've loved parenting small children but this next stage seems unknown! In my ideal world I'd be in every day after school...

At our school children are allowed to walk home alone from year 5. If they do after school clubs then they must be collected by an adult once it is dark at that time. I always remember waiting at home for my parents when I was at primary. They got in about 45 minutes after me. I just ate snacks and watched t.v. I remember not liking it in the winter though.

Ours have come home to an empty house since Y7, not every day but maybe 2-3 times a week. They are a 25 min walk from school but have friends nearby they could go to in an emergency. They tend to stay in once they get home, have snacks, do homework, watch tv etc. We would keep it to about an hour in Y7 but now they're older (Y11/Y9) it might be 3 hrs.

So liberating not having to do the school run!

We haven't got local neighbours they can call on really. Hmmm.

My ds is 11 and in year 7...lots of his friends do this. He doesn't because I'm a sahm but if I had to work, I'd be fine to let him do this.

formerbabe - by "this" do you mean walk home and wait a couple of hours every day for a parent to come home? Or half an hour? Or not in the dark...

Im still getting my head around this. Id love to stay a sahm!

@SquashedFlyBiscuit, the transition from primary-parent-assisted-homecoming to secondary independence is a difficult one for parents (well, mums) but IME, the children usually thrive. A sensible child coming home to an empty house is fine for an hour or so, but establish routine phone contact.

I think 11/12 is ok.
When I was at primary school my mum worked. She would leave a key under the doormat for me. I came home and waited for my older siblings to come home.

I would say secondary school... 11/12 but only for a very short time to be left alone, especially in the winter, personally about an hour

my son is 12, year 7, and he’s been doing this from when he started school in september. he gets home about 4, takes the dogs out, puts a load of washing in and then goes on his playstation until i get in at about 6. it’s only a couple of days a week when i’m working from my office but he’d fine if it was every day. i think he just likes some time to himself away from his younger brother and sister.

DS used to get the bus home on his own from year 7 and although DH was often home (was a postman) he wasn't always. Holidays were a mix of DS being at home alone until DH returned from work around 2pm, going to my parents', going out with his older brother or his auntie, or going to holiday club. By about 13 or 14 he refused to go to holiday club and I was happy to leave him at home - he could cook, was sensible and didn't take risks.

Mine walked home and let themselves into the house from 10yo, so Yr 5, not a problem.

Home alone all day in the hols, secondary I guess, tho luckily for me the after school key thing coincided with me starting work in a school, so I had the holidays off, even tho I was working, I was around IYSWIM.

@SquashedFlyBiscuit

Yes I meant a couple of hours.

My ds walks home by himself as I'm busy getting his sister from her school. But I'm back home before he gets back.

I'd be fine for him to be at home for a couple of hours by himself.

My biggest worry would be him losing his keys.

Fab thankyou all so much, I noticed how daek it was today at 4.30 and she agreed she didn't fancy walking home in it.

Im not sure havjng her at home for 2 hours alonw/ in the dark is great either... could so do with a surrogate grandparent to check in on her!!