Am I having a midlife reawakening or a personality transplant??

[Petals23]

I'm 44. Lately, I just do not care what people think of me any more, I don't go to things I don't want to and I speak my mind. For a long time before this I was a people pleaser! I actually don't know what's happened to me. Also, even though periods have become heavier they only last 2 days... could I be premenopausal?

I have long believed that the 'real' reason for HRT is that it makes women more biddable

Does anyone think that peri menopause could make you literally gate your husband

Gating your husband sounds extremely violent. 😁

I don’t think it’s to do with hormones, I think it’s more to do with social conditioning. As a girl you’re bought dolls, prams, makeup, etc and encouraged into a nurturing role and to be concerned about your appearance. As you get older you realise what a crock of shit parts your life has been because you’ve bent over for people who wouldn’t do the same for you. Because you’re a certain age you become invisible and realise that your worthiness was dependent on your looks and appearance. Once one brick falls the rest come tumbling down and you think ‘fuck you!’ I’m going to strait looking after me. It’s liberating and it’s also why older women make fucking brilliant feminists. We see through all the bullshite and why it’s so important to the powerful people in society to keep telling us that we should be ‘nice’. Nice women are easier to manipulate and bully.

Strait = start

Also we get life experience mixed in. People who take advantage- no time for that anymore. I have quite needy, divorced parents who tend to lean on me and I'm slowly backing off- resulting in them learning to be a bit more independent.

It's good to have a positive thread about this time of life as some of them about menopause can be so negative.

I have long believed that the 'real' reason for HRT is that it makes women more biddable

That may be so, but I still want medication that will stop night sweats and hot flushes, and something that will also help against osteoporosis, which is very common in my family.

If I can get the medication without losing my "don't give a fuck" feelings then that would be perfect.

I've been a huge people pleaser all my life, and DD has said that since we left my ex a couple of years ago, I've become more assertive and she loves it.

It's your 40s pity it takes us so long you sink in that other people are just as messed up as us, and don't have time to be judging anyone else, so why care what they think anyway

You’d have to drag my HRT out of my warm, sweaty hands! 🥵 🥶 🥵 🥶

HRT making be more biddable 🤣🤣🤣
Not in my case.😈

What does gate your husband mean? Reject? That shit started during pregnancy!

Haha sorry, hate! Hormones make it difficult to type too...

My problems are not just hormonal I fear though...

RhinoskinhaveI Sun 01-Dec-19 13:30:51
I have long believed that the 'real' reason for HRT is that it makes women more biddable
........
You are joking I hope :-). That's hilarious, I've never heard it before.
HRT stops embarrassing hot flushes. I was on it for a while but it really didn't suit me, I was better when I stopped. The flushes returned but nothing I couldn't cope with, I felt OK.

There are other things that can prevent osteoporosis and are good alternatives to HRT without the risks that HRT brings. Any GP will know about them.

We're jumping the gun a bit here though, the op doesn't know if she is yet perimenopausal, she has just changed a bit in recent years. It's called maturity - and it is quite attractive!

Danielradcliffesperfectarse gate/hate... both started years ago in pregancy. We'll just keep on blaming the hormones.

Ohh I'm getting to this point.

I've just realised that no-one needs to be told I'm no longer giving a fuck, I just need to not give a fuck. A kind of leading by example not giving a fuck. It's very empowering.

I read somewhere there is a rise in shoplifting during the menopause, more of the 'don't give a fuck' I guess! (I'm not suggesting this by the way but thought it was interesting!

I am starting to resent DH and his family's expectations at Christmas.

On the other side of menopause here! I'm 53 and I can remember feeling like a lot of you in my late 40s. I started saying 'no I don't want to' and because my exH was so used to me giving way and doing whatever he wanted, he was completely baffled by it. It was amusing watching him have tantrums and blustering and ranting while I sat on the sofa with my book! We divorced two years ago! I am now the queen of not giving a fuck. I think when we are caught up in the nurturing thing and we WANT to look after other people, it's very easy to lose sight of ourselves. I loved being a mum, I loved being a wife at times. Now I'm loving being on my own and not having to consider anyone else. I'm not unkind or rude but I am very cynical and I shout at the tv a lot. I called Boris Johnson a fat cunt the other day...

That happened to me when I hit 31. I just cannot be bothered with bullshit anymore.

I am 45

My field of fucks is barren

Oh my god this is me - I am younger 36 but def have perimenopause signs.
I have actually started fighting back when people do something or say something u pleasant to me . After a lifetime of just letting people do what they want.

Got abuse hurled at me from a bunch of teenagers today - did something unladylike and probably not quite right considering the age gap but hey ho it felt good - disclaimer no teenagers were physically harmed in the making of this post.

I have found my people!

48 and am apparently terrifying to stupid men.

There's an army of us!
Fancy sorting out the world folks?