MIL visit - help me through the next 24 hrs!

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

MIL rarely visits but when she does, she drives us all insane. She isn't in the house yet and it's started..... Insisted on booking an early train which meant that she'd have to hang around town all afternoon, despite us telling her we were both working. Repeatedly phones husband while he's in a meeting to try and find out when he's finishing work. Eventually phones me (I was also at work): 'oh, is X working today?' Me: 'erm yeah, her told you we were both working' 'Oh, I thought he'd be finishing early (this is at 3.30pm - I don't know anyone who can bugger off out of the office at that time!).

Currently cooking for her and tempted to crack the wine open... Cheer me up with your MIL stories!

Mine demands to be taken to A&E for every ailment. DH refuses as vomiting twice is neither an accident nor an emergency so she calls her brother (he also refuses).

My ex MIL was certifiably insane - actually. Had a lot of ECT.
I couldn't cope with it and exH had to go and visit alone.

Get on the wine now! DP's mum died before I met him but my ex's mum could offer some choice stories! There was the time she told me DD clearly didn't like me very much if she wouldn't sleep through the night (DD was less than a week old) to her efforts to help ex destroy me. Sadly I'm stuck with her still tho for DDs benefit. Good luck with your weekend x

Definitely open the wine.

Is your MiL of a certain age where she doesn't 'get' that your DH or you just can't drop everything to run to her??

Can we start a help group for MIL visits?

Mine is down for the weekend. She's a bitch anyway but taken the cake today. I work Friday evening so I haven't seen her yet. There's a Christmas market on in our town and I said to husband I want to do the Father Christmas stuff as DD is 3 and just realising about it all. Husband has just text me while I'm at work freezing my arse off. Saying oh we bumped in Father Christmas and done that. Was too quick. Asked if that got pictures. No too quick. So three adults where unable to take pictures. I'm normally not one to get annoyed about firsts but I am had specifically asked my husband and no fucking pictures I'm pretty pissed. So tomorrow will be fun.

Got any senna seeds about ?? Make her a very special dinner !!!
( Must have been something she picked up from town as no one else is ill) try and sit her in a draft too. Obvs these are tried and tested.

My DH said "oh I suppose we ought to invite my mother for Christmas.... she'll probably refuse ... but she might not Oh god I'd probably kill her Perhaps I'll not mention it at all "

Go for enough alcohol to buzz you through the evening but not enough it'll all be worse in the morning.

Thanks all. AAAARRGGHH the wine is open. I've just dimmed the dining room lights and she actually said 'is that so that we don't have to look at the bad food?' I've spent two fucking hours making lasagne from scratch!

When I was 3 weeks post partum she presented me with my chicken salad whilst I was holding my new baby in one arm and said "I haven't cut it for you, the more difficult it is to eat the quicker you'll lose the weight".

A fucking salad.

If she seriously said that about the food, I think I'd take her plate away.

Her comment about the food was really spiteful. I’m shocked.

Yeah, get her coat and tell her to bugger off , the cheeky cow

Oh but she was 'only joking' though! GIVE ME STRENGTH!

'is that so that we don't have to look at the bad food?'

"WI didn't realise you'd brought your own food MIL?"

You were a fool to spend hours on a lasagne. Beans on toast tomorrow.

Seriously take her plate away. Don’t comment any further, just remove the plate and put it in the fridge.

It took you 2 hours to cook a lasagne ?

Sorry, couldn’t resist the typical McCunt comment. You can tell me to fuck off if you like.

Tbh, as a stand alone comment, I don’t think it’s all that bad. I have a jokey relationship with my family.
It’s clearly not a stand alone comment though.
What does she do to piss you off Op ?
Offload on here, it will help.

@lpchill if mum hasn't seen it, it hasn't actually happened. Wipe it from your mind, and go visit Santa tomorrow.

I'm Italian, it takes me longer than 2 hours to make a lasagne!

I'd eat then invent a migraine and have an early night in your situation OP. I often get migraines at PILs.

It takes me forever to make a lasagne, which is why I usually get my DP to make it .
I was just having a didgeridoo at the sort of poster who would naturally come in to a thread and post like that. It might not have been clear.
How is the wine going down op ?

Dig ffs.

Wine is going down very nicely. TBF I mainly made the lasagne for my own mum who was also coming for dinner and she loves and appreciates it! (And the 2 hours is partly to cook down there sauce so that it's lovely and rich and yummy. I'm not Italian, but I do know the secret to a good lasagne!)

You can’t go wrong with a lasagne. I don’t think I could trust someone who doesn’t like one.

Oh here's a thread for me! My MIL is arriving tomorrow and I just find it very stressful.