MIL visit - help me through the next 24 hrs!

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

MIL rarely visits but when she does, she drives us all insane. She isn't in the house yet and it's started..... Insisted on booking an early train which meant that she'd have to hang around town all afternoon, despite us telling her we were both working. Repeatedly phones husband while he's in a meeting to try and find out when he's finishing work. Eventually phones me (I was also at work): 'oh, is X working today?' Me: 'erm yeah, her told you we were both working' 'Oh, I thought he'd be finishing early (this is at 3.30pm - I don't know anyone who can bugger off out of the office at that time!).

Currently cooking for her and tempted to crack the wine open... Cheer me up with your MIL stories!

I'm with you there @DaphneFanshaw lasagne is heavenly food!!

Can you share your recipient OP?

Recipe? Meat sauce is garlic, onion, red pepper, mushrooms, minced beef, Italian herbs, Worcester sauce, salt & pepper, tin of chopped tomatoes plus tomato puree. Cook down for about an hour til the sauce is lovely and rich. White sauce is courtesy of Dolmio - CBA making that from scratch! Layer and cover with loads of lovely cheese then bake. Simples!

@lpchill good luck and get the wine open. At least mine is gone by 4pm tomorrow. Then we're going out for beers and curry to celebrate!

I knew she’d be only joking, the cow. So now if you’re offended, her get out is that you’re over sensitive.
And DH will just want to keep the peace, no doubt.

I’m glad your mum was there and appreciated what you’d made for her.

Oh no, husband was backing me up. She does his head in as well!

She's been sipping one tiny rum & coke for like 2 hours whilst I've sank nearly a bottle of wine!

Mine is visiting next weekend. I feel your pain.

Mine has hassled me about Christmas since June. I told her she was invited for Christmas (so am now going to sister and family for New Year, though they’d have loved us to come for Christmas). She then told me she wasn’t coming any more because she, “didn’t fancy it.”

That means unless I force her to come, she’ll be home alone and it’ll be our (my) fault!

Why are people like this?!!!

@Davespecifico because they're old and they like to torture you! I think I'll be a complete twat when I'm old as well!

White sauce is courtesy of Dolmio - CBA making that from scratch!

You went to all the trouble of making the lovely meat sauce and then covered it with Dolmio? A cheese roux takes minutes!

Yeah yeah I know but life's too short and all that.

Additional comments designed to piss me off: 'ooh your colour is really high' .... It's called a SUNTAN - we've just come back from the Caribbean!!

So we have every breakfast product under the sun in the house, except for the stuff that MIL wants to eat. And so we're made to feel like shit hosts. Oh, and she swore blind that the room she's sleeping in was at the back of the house and that's why it was so quiet. It's at the feckin front! Then got all offended when we pointed that out.

Going to the gym, may not be back for some time....

She sounds like mine. She’s currently not speaking to me as I didn’t respond quickly enough when she emailed me twice at work to ask me about a bloody wine delivery she’d arranged (for DHs) birthday on a day she knows I’m always in the office. When she came to visit last weekend she accused DS2 of being addicted to the PlayStation, and told me my eggs Benedict that I’d made for breakfast wasn’t really Eggs Benedict as I didn’t put spinach in it. She’s like this all the time. Can’t stand her.

So even though you made eggs Benedict it turns out your MiL wanted eggs Florentine? How is someone supposed to know that??? You have my sympathy there @ScatteredMama82

Mine once patted me on the head and said ‘pat the dog’.

True story!

OMG @Rainbowtheunicorn - what's wrong with these women?

Less than 4 hours til she's outa here...

My ex MIL had psychosis and used to ring me at 9am on Sunday accusing me of poisoning her.
Last MIL passed away some years ago but spent Christmas day expecting waitress service , moaning the whole day and finally wet the bed on departure day. We all had colds, 6mo DD hadn't slept all night and MIL was lucky not to end up under the patio.
Despite all this, I do miss her.

Haha! @WhatchaMaCalllit thank for clearing that up! I wish I'd been able to tell her she was wrong. Talk about a first world problem.

Mine is a whole book worth of obnoxious but my favourite was the time we'd been away for a week in a self catering place, us, our two kids and MIL and FIL. On the last morning, as I'm packing, organising and keeping an eye on the kids and DH and FIL are sorting the cars out, MIL starts clearing the kitchen. She made scrambled eggs and bacon. As she, FIL and DH sat down for breakfast DH asked if I wasn't eating. I hadn't been offered, there was none for me.

"I didn't think Toria liked eggs."

Whether I liked eggs or not (I do) she knew I like bacon and she'd also done rounds of toast for the three of them.

My ex mother in law always used to make comments about my weight.
She used to insist on not ordering/having a main course herself because ‘I’m slim so I can’t eat that much’ but when the food was ready she would take a third from each persons plate (5 of us usually) and she would end up with way more than any of us, including her 6ft 5 sons!
I remember going for a curry with her and she made a point of saying I couldn’t sit in a certain chair because I was too big for the space. That was the first night with my ex sister in law too. So embarrassed!

Revenge is since I divorced her son I lost 4 stone haha

When ds was born and I was breastfeeding, mil and fil said they’d come to see us, and they’d bring dinner so not to worry about anything. I was vegetarian, and they knew that. They brought a meat dish.
We had a new born baby, no car, and had nothing else in. I had toast for dinner, while they ooooohed and ahhhhed over her delicious food.

Well thank God that's probably us done for the next 12 months - DH may go down and visit but I won't have to have her stay for a while.

We'd gone out to the pub to celebrate getting rid of her on Saturday and she bloody rang (me, not her son) to let us know she was home safe. I texted 'sorry I can't pick up, we're in a noisy pub'.