Strange and/or stupid theories about children's shows

[MySqueeHasBeenSeverelyHarshed]

I recently started up a podcast with a friend of mine discussing bizarre theories about various media, we'd been doing it for a while as a live panel at certain community events and figured we'd branch out so we could do it more often. We have a lot of theories already but what I'd really like to do is at least one toddler TV special. I've had to watch a lot of Cbeebies and Nick Junior over the years and came up with the theories out of boredom. These are the ones I'm working with right now:

*In the Night Garden is a vision of hell with Iggle Piggle et al being eternally punished for their sins

*Captain Hook in Jake and the Neverland Pirates is a victim of severe brain injury and his place on the island is actually a health retreat built to help him recover

*Lazytown takes place after a nuclear winter, Robbie Rotten was actually trying to keep everyone safe from deadly fallout

*The mutant cars in Blaze and the Monster Machines enslaved and killed off humanity, they let AJ and Gabby survive because Gabby has useful skills and Blaze needs a support human in order to move

*The Fat Controller is a mobster and the island of Sodor is a complex money-laundering operation

Is there any shows I should add to the list? I've heard theories about Bing but haven't workshopped that much yet, and the kids I was minding are older now so I don't know what the toddlers are watching as much right now (besides Paw Patrol, I need a theory for that but I find it so boring I can't even come up with anything good.)

What awful stuff does your toddler make you watch over and over?

When my youngest was little she used to love Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom (I did too, some of the humour was definitely for the adults I'm sure). What's your theory on it??

For Ben and Holly I don't have much beyond Nanny Plum's obvious frog addiction, but I can borrow a toddler and give it a rewatch and see what happens. Good suggestion, thanks!

When my daughter was young we watched quite a bit of Rastamouse, and I quickly noticed three important points:

• There are a lot of orphans in Mouseland.
• There aren't any regular institutions of state, and the Easy Crew is essentially a (benevolent) vigilante group.
• The president wears a uniform.

Clearly Mouseland was the subject of a bloody military coup, and President Wensley Dale is an army officer who relies on the Easy Crew to maintain order in his autocracy.

If it can be extended to 90s kids show there’s a batshit theory about Rugrats:

“The Rugrats really were a figment of Angelica's demonic and unimaginable imagination.

Chuckie died in 1986 along with his mother, that's why Chaz is a nervous wreck all the time.

Tommy was born in 1988, but he was a stillborn, that's why Stu is constantly in the basement making toys for the son who never had a chance to live.

The DeVilles had an abortion in 1990, Angelica couldn't figure whether it would be a boy or a girl thus creating the twins.”

Well postman pat is the only red haired adult and yet the school is full of ginger kids... dirty brute!

Norman Price is Fireman Sam's lovechild. He gets into all those scrapes in the desperate hope that his father will notice and acknowledge him.

I always thought In the Night Garden was the result of the design team having a rather magical mushroom soup at lunch time.

Octonauts is the result of an genetic engineering experiment gone wrong

Rastamouse is the next world Sam Tyler from Life on Mars / Ashes to Ashes moved into in his journey to police Valhalla.

Was there not something about the Magic Roundabout being full of drug references??

Miss Rabbit has a crippling gambling addiction and owes thousands to loan sharks who are threatening to chop her ears off, hence her many jobs.

Ah, thanks for reminding me about Postman Pat! Personally I think Norman has formed a pact with some demon and that's why Pontypandy is basically Ragnarok despite there only being a handful of people living there.

Never watched Rastamouse but I'll have to borrow a toddler and watch with them (my brother and my nieces will be delighted!)

Definitely extending to shows of the eighties and nineties, our first episode was about the various generations of My Little Pony, including the pony that got Santa excommunicated and the ponies that blew up Pony Satan with a rainbow.

I'd easily have content for three episodes here methinks. Any more?

I need to know about paw patrol. My 4 year old loves this - it’s a child who obviously lives alone with taking dogs and a mayor who has an unhealthy relationship with a chicken.

That rugrats theory has blown my mind!

I have a very small theory about Farmer Yumi and her marriage to the other farmer. I suspect she grew up with an idealized view of what american farm life was from old westerns and she moved to Adventure Bay to live her yeehaw dreams so her farm makes no actual money, it's just for show. She's actually living off of an inheritance that was about to run out before she married the other farmer.

My Farmer Yumi theory involves her getting lost on her way to an Anne of Green Gables convention. Chickaletta is a metaphor for Mayor Goodway’s painkiller addiction.

This may be a slight derail, because it's clearly true. Bing is set in hell. Think about the problems with bing:

What the fuck are the carers, they aren't animals?
They are the souls of the damned who have harmed children

Where are the animal children's real parents?
The animals are demons

Why are the kids so annoying? Why do they never learn?
To torture the carers

Why is the furniture too big for the carers?
See above.

Why do the carers never get annoyed with the arsehole bing?
This is their curse. They must eternally care for their animal charges but can't get frustrated

P.S. in the night garden is the fever dream of a dying child.

I prefer the bing theory that I read on s previous Mumsnet thread, that bing is set in an afterlife for children that are stillborn/miscarried/aborted. That is why there are some siblings but no parents.

I don’t think you can do that with Paw Patrol, it’s too too too boring.
Every one children may show seems to be made with the parent in mind even a little bit and has the odd funny bit that kids miss. Not Paw Patrol.

Ryder from paw patrol is the secret love child of mayor goodway and mayor humdinger after a drunken one night stand.

Mayor Goodway, who is a perfectionist obsessed with keeping up appearances, couldn’t cope with the shame so banished ryder to a lonely tower on the outskirts of town. She funds the tower and his inventions by siphoning off town funds to him.

She deals with her guilt at abandoning her child by treating a chicken as an adored baby. Her handbag is full of corn and chicken poo.

Meanwhile Ryder, desperate for love, starts collecting puppies to live with him. In an attempt to make his mother acknowledge and praise him he trains them to perform emergency rescues and devotes all his energies to helping the town of adventure bay.

Most of the other families know about this - they tried reporting this obvious child neglect to the authorities but mayor goodway has an iron grip on the town so nothing was done, and those families were harassed by the parking officials and other local authorities until they were driven out.

That’s why there are so few children and ryder’s only friends are Katie (who has also been forced by unloving parents to work full time in a pet grooming salon to support their drugs habit) and alex (who is only 4/5).

Ryder does not yet know that mayor humdinger is his father. He will find out in season 12, have a psychotic break, and go on a bloody rampage through town with the pups savaging all of these adults who turned a blind eye to his trauma.

Naughty Norman is obviously Fireman Sam and Dylis’s love child, which is why he gets away with starting quite so many fires...

there's also the theory that Fireman Sam is gay and has a thing with the Australian helicopter pilot. Sam is the sperm donor father of Norman, Dilys thought she was getting on abit and wanted a strong, brave man to be the donor.

Adventure Time (for older kids)
Jake and Finn were hit by a car, Jake died, Finn is in a coma and the whole thing is his coma dreams

I've heard the one about In The Night Garden being that Iggle Piggle is dead and in the afterlife but can't move on, which is why everyone else goes to sleep but he never does.

The Rugrats one was

This thread is bringing out some quite grim elements. I don't mind all the Fireman Sam lovechild business but why so many theories involving dead or dying children?

Remember not everyone here is a parent or seeking to become a parent. Some have other motives for being on a parenting forum. And lots of other people here will have actually lost children.