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Original poster

Christmas - are we being pathetic?

47 replies

NeverGotMyPuppy · 27/11/2019 22:54

Background: It's me, DH and DS who will be 15 months. Last year we went to out best friends' for xmas day then onto my parents for Boxing Day and DH's for NYE. Xmas day he was fine, he slept in the sling all through lunch but NYE was just awful and I was so angry with MIL and DH for persuading me to stay and most of all with myself for agreeing to it. Also the last time I tried to get him to nap in his travel cot somewhere else he had an absolute meltdown and it wasnt fun.

So this year- 3 possibilities.

1 - my parents. Pros - they have a cot, DS could have his own room, my parents would see him for xmas. Cons - he has not napped there since he was tiny, they do lunch for about 3 so he will be awake but probably not very hungry. My sister is there and I'm not a massive fan.

Best friends pros, they are just lovely and will feed us and look after us well! Our son knows them very well. Cons - he wouldn't nap there last time, I ended up having to take him for an drive and xmas dinner can go on for hours and hours. Now DS is walking that's going to be tricky.

Stay at home: pros - easiest for us to suit ourselves. Most familiar for DS. Havent actually had xmas day in our own house since we moved in 3 years ago. Cons - will we get serious FOMO? Will it just feel like an ordinary day?

I dont knowing I'm being miserable but travelling with all the baby stuff and trying to do naps and blacking out bedrooms... it just seems such a pain in the arse.

What would you do?!

OP posts:

Original poster

NeverGotMyPuppy · 27/11/2019 22:55

I should add my parents are the most depressing people on the world. DS will love it, DH and I will not have much fun. Going woild be for their benefit only.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 27/11/2019 22:57

Stay home and invite your parents for Boxing Day.

MissCherryCakeyBun · 27/11/2019 22:58

Psrsonally I would stay home and start to have a family Christmas that's special for you and your LO
If they want to see their grandchild it can be on your terms and your house

Be happy and have a good Christmas on your terms

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Events & celebrations Families

fellyjish · 27/11/2019 23:13

Could you host your best friends?

BlackeyedSusan · 28/11/2019 01:34

Stay at home. Make new traditions.

BellyButton85 · 28/11/2019 01:39

I think your child needs some sort of routine in general if hes like this normally. He shouldn't need to be in a sling to sleep at this age

DioneTheDiabolist · 28/11/2019 01:44

Stay at home and have your own party OP. Your DP and DC will be there. All the people you love the most. Anything else (old friends/new friends/ neighbours) will be a bonus.

Caterina99 · 28/11/2019 01:49

To be honest I know it’s hard with that age and naps etc, I have 2 little kids and trust me I do get it, but it’s one day. You should do what you’d most like to do. He will get over one crappy nap. Just build the nap in the car into your day and accept it.

Alternatively, can’t you host?

Justmuddlingalong · 28/11/2019 02:19

Having a 15 month old is a perfect excuse to stay in your own home and invite everyone to you. If they come, great. If they don't, even better. 😉

Pilot12 · 28/11/2019 03:00

Have Christmas at your house and if you think it will be boring invite people to come to you. Why do you always have to go to other people's houses.

Topseyt · 28/11/2019 03:04

Stay home. It is a no-brainer. Plenty of us do it.

Topseyt · 28/11/2019 03:05

Oh, and I don't do New Year, at all.

Preggosaurus9 · 28/11/2019 03:29

Stay home. Fuck everyone else, they don't have to deal with the consequences of a 15 month old being thrown off routine, so they can suck it.

1forAll74 · 28/11/2019 03:30

I think that you should opt for what would make you feel happier about this day or a few days. Christmas visiting can be quite stressful sometimes, when you feel that you have to be here,there, and everywhere.

I was just thinking back, years and years ago,when my two children were youngies, We seemed deemed,to have to travel 70 miles,to visit two sets of parents, in the same area, but having to stay at my parents for sleeping,in a cold house ha ha, and then having to be at the other parents house on christmas eve, after driving 7o miles, with two small children,and our dog. The other parents,did not like the fact,that we were sleeping at my parents house, and wouldn't see our children opening their presents on the big day,, It was a right nightmare for a few years of the same thing. so was always good to get back home after a few days.

Lilyflower1 · 28/11/2019 06:23

Stay home. No question. Dull but lovely.

hopeishere · 28/11/2019 06:27

Stay at home but it's a full 12 months since last time so he's unlikely to behave in he same way. At least at hone if he's out of his routine and falls asleep on the floor it doesn't matter.

TeenPlusTwenties · 28/11/2019 06:31

Stay at home, build your own traditions. Invite others if it suits you.

FreshHorizons · 28/11/2019 06:44

Stay at home. Invite others if you want to.

AlwaysCheddar · 28/11/2019 06:46

Stop assuming your baby is going to do what he did last year ... he’s 12 months older! Stay home and ask people to yours.

Original poster

NeverGotMyPuppy · 28/11/2019 06:46

Thanks everyone, you've reassured us! My post perhaps waant clear - it was last Christmas day he napped in the sling. He has a very good routine with cot naps now hence I dont want to mess it up - I am a bit obsessive about it but he was such a bad sleeper for so long . The last time I tried napping him at my friends was August which admittedly is a long time too.

Our friends wont come here, they are very much the hosts. I have offered gor my parents to come here but they arent fans of travelling!

OP posts:

hopeishere · 28/11/2019 06:52

Urgh people who only want to be "the hosts" do my head in. My sister has never come to mine on Christmas Day ever because they're "the hosts".

Aridane · 28/11/2019 06:53

Is it all about the naps?

SunshineCake · 28/11/2019 06:55

Stay home.

It took ten years or so for me to be able to cook Christmas lunch in my own home and now it is established tradition and we visit the in-laws Christmas Day afternoon and back again for Boxing Day lunch. Have also started leaving before Boxing Day tea and what we do now is much better.

BillHadersNewWife · 28/11/2019 06:56

You need to be more secure about your ability to have a lovely day just the 3 of you.

Sipperskipper · 28/11/2019 06:57

Stay at home for sure! Big routine follower here too (although DD is 2.5 now and quite happy without a nap).

I could / can always pretty much guarantee that bar illness / teething, if she had followed her routine and slept decently she would be happy and content. That was (and still is!) my priority, as an unhappy, overtired baby / toddler just makes me an unhappy and stressed mum!

We have done Christmas at home since she was born and it’s been great. We could time dinner around her nap too. Usually people come to us, but would be equally happy just us - good food, music, DD enjoying her presents, a nice little crisp walk somewhere, maybe a film...perfect!

Honestly, stay at home!

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