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Original poster

Christmas - are we being pathetic?

47 replies

NeverGotMyPuppy · 27/11/2019 22:54

Background: It's me, DH and DS who will be 15 months. Last year we went to out best friends' for xmas day then onto my parents for Boxing Day and DH's for NYE. Xmas day he was fine, he slept in the sling all through lunch but NYE was just awful and I was so angry with MIL and DH for persuading me to stay and most of all with myself for agreeing to it. Also the last time I tried to get him to nap in his travel cot somewhere else he had an absolute meltdown and it wasnt fun.

So this year- 3 possibilities.

1 - my parents. Pros - they have a cot, DS could have his own room, my parents would see him for xmas. Cons - he has not napped there since he was tiny, they do lunch for about 3 so he will be awake but probably not very hungry. My sister is there and I'm not a massive fan.

Best friends pros, they are just lovely and will feed us and look after us well! Our son knows them very well. Cons - he wouldn't nap there last time, I ended up having to take him for an drive and xmas dinner can go on for hours and hours. Now DS is walking that's going to be tricky.

Stay at home: pros - easiest for us to suit ourselves. Most familiar for DS. Havent actually had xmas day in our own house since we moved in 3 years ago. Cons - will we get serious FOMO? Will it just feel like an ordinary day?

I dont knowing I'm being miserable but travelling with all the baby stuff and trying to do naps and blacking out bedrooms... it just seems such a pain in the arse.

What would you do?!

OP posts:

BeanBag7 · 28/11/2019 06:59

Could he miss his nap just for one day or is that a recipe for disaster?

I wouldnt personally have Christmas at home with just me and DH and a toddler, I think it would be a bit boring and lonely half way through the day as I feel Christmas is supposed to be shared with others.

I would go to the best friends house and try not to stress too much about naps as it's just one day.

user1493413286 · 28/11/2019 07:01

I wouldn’t judge this year against last year as your DS is such a different age. It doesn’t sound like you’ll much enjoy your parents so either stay at home to keep your routine or go to your friends and risk it. Last year at just over 18 months my DD wouldn’t nap on Christmas Day because it was all too exciting and new; we just went with it and put her to bed early when she got grumpy early evening. She still slept all night and I do know what it’s like with a bad sleeper and I’ve been very focused on a routine in the past to help with the sleep but I’ve also found out that one day doesn’t ruin a routine and sometimes it’s worth it so I don’t feel a slave to the routine

Sharonthetotallyinsane · 28/11/2019 07:03

Go to theirs just before, have a mini Christmas with them perhaps or Yes, just stay at home and invite them to yours.

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RainbowMum11 · 28/11/2019 07:12

While staying at home is probably the easiest choice, if if has been 1 year since your child was last away from home, and he's only 15 months then you probably need to let loose a bit and just see how DC will get on - it's only 1 day so do what you and DH want to do, DC will be ok.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 28/11/2019 07:13

Last time he was 3 months old. Don't base your Xmas decisions on what happened when he'd only been around for 12 weeks!

Definitely sounds like you'd be best off staying home, though.

ShinyGiratina · 28/11/2019 07:19

Christmas is supposed to be enjoyable and if that means having a rested toddler and swerving draining relatives, that's fine.

Do your own thing on your own timings. Go out for a walk to break the day up and tire him out.

We've had most Christmas Days at home since having DCs. We catch up with family at some point over Christmas, but it can become a tedious tour of other people's bad sofas and minding young children like a hawk when they're out of their usual habitat.

Sagradafamiliar · 28/11/2019 07:25

Just do what you want to do. Naps are neither here nor there, if he naps, he naps, if not, then he doesn't.

Miniloso · 28/11/2019 07:27

Stay home! I don’t get why this is a fall- back option. It’s lovely especially now you have your own little family.

speakout · 28/11/2019 07:27

Time to dig in your own roots.
Stay at home, make your own traditions, let people revolve around you now.
When I had children people were welcome to visit, meals were cooked, but christmas and NY were firmly at home from then on.

StarlingsInSummer · 28/11/2019 07:36

Definitely stay home and start your own traditions! You have nearly a month to plan the food and decorations etc - it'll be lovely to be with your little boy on Christmas day.

BeyondMyWits · 28/11/2019 07:37

Will it just feel like an ordinary day

kind of... yes... because that seems to be what you want for your child, it is Christmas, it is going to be different.

I'd go to parents, go with the flow, let them do the hosting

share the child-care with hubby - actually time-share, an hour (or whatever) at a time... ok he is yours now for an hour I'm going to chat with mum, Ok he's mine now, you do whatever you like for an hour... even if the relatives have hold of him/are doing something with him, it helps for sanity sake if one of you is "on duty" and the other is having "down time".

rwalker · 28/11/2019 07:44

Staying at home easiest option but if you go anywhere else would a quick walk in the pram settle him and get him off to sleep.
TNB I'd make an effort go to friend or parents would hate to be constantly tied because he need a sleep you have a life as well.
Ours used to go off to sleep with a quick walk in pram or 5 mins drive in car took them everywhere with us some times you can make a rod for your own back.

HeyNotInMyName · 28/11/2019 08:01

I would like to know why it’s you who is shouldering all the issues associated with ‘poor napping’
I remember well the times when I was extremely protective of my dcs naps. But I would have been very grumpy if I had been the only one to handle our dc and for DH not to lift a finger tbh.

TheElfFellOffTheShelf · 28/11/2019 08:11

Staying at home needn't feel like just another ordinary day if you do things that you normally wouldn't, for example putting festive music on, having special food (not necessarily a big roast if you're not keen on that but for that wouldn't normally bothered to buy or cook), opening gifts, having a bit of a drink, going for a walk, playing games, watching a new or a cheesy film with festive nibbles etc etc. Start your own Christmas traditions now and learn to enjoy time together as a family unit in your own right rather than seeing it as a last resort and that way it won't feel as if you're beholden to other people's plans. When your dc is/are older and you don't have to be a slave to the routine so much you can be more flexible and consider going elsewhere for Xmas/NY.

MsMellivora · 28/11/2019 08:55

If you want to stay at home then do it, but letting a child’s nap routine dictate your plans seems very dominant. My friend planned her entire days around her child’s naps for about three years, she was very much stuck at home all the time.

Sipperskipper · 28/11/2019 09:17

It depends on the child re: naps. If DD didn’t nap (and she wouldn’t, anywhere than a cot in a dark, quiet room), she would be an overtired, miserable mess for the rest of the day, as well as it affecting her night time sleep. In turn, that would make me & DH fed up and knackered too - not worth it in my opinion! I’d rather have a well rested, happy DD sleeping 12 hours a night.

Plus I love my house, so no problem there!

Original poster

NeverGotMyPuppy · 28/11/2019 18:37

@HeyNotInMyName I'm not, DH absolutely does his share. I did that drive because we had assumed DH would ho down, I went to put him down and DH had a glass of wine with the idea that i would be joining him in 10 mins. 40 minutes of screaming later...

He has been elsewhere, we had 2 weeks in mauritius when he was 6 months and a week in Norfolk a few weeks ago - he really did not enjoy sleeping somewhere else and I hated hearing him cry so much.

We love our home and I'm sure it would be lovely. We have 11 siblings between us so we are just used to Christmas being a big thing. It will just be strange for us to have so few.

OP posts:

Crunchymum · 28/11/2019 19:03

Whatever you chose, dont be dictated by your child's nap(s)

Letthemysterybe · 28/11/2019 19:18

If you are used to big family Christmases , then a day at home just the 3 of you risks feeling rather ordinary. So you will need to plan some festive things to do. If we were not having any one to visit, then I would have presents in the morning a big mid day meal, followed by a nice walk and a brief stop at the village pub, then home for Christmas film and games.

Dilkhush · 28/11/2019 19:51

My DCs only ever slept in their travel cot. Wherever we went was home and they fell asleep with no problem. We dragged them all over the place: house parties, hotel rooms, grandparents, friends houses, I don't know how many different countries; it was a great solution for us.
Obviously that's not for you, but have you considered putting DC in the travel cot for the full week before Christmas? It might significantly cut down on sleep related stress for you.

Original poster

NeverGotMyPuppy · 28/11/2019 20:24

He naps in the damn thing at our childminders, she has travel costs but we decided to use ours in the hope that he would then become very portable.

This has not been the case thus far!

OP posts:

Flower777 · 28/11/2019 20:51

Do what you need to do OP.

You can still have fun the 3 of you!

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