Argh - my boss rejected my FB friend request

[Bookridden]

I work in a friendly office and have a good relationship with my line managers. My boss's boss is a pleasant person who has other colleagues as FB friends so I thought I would send her a friend request. It was almost immediately rejected and now I feel mortified, especially as she's someone whom I wish to impress. I obviously misread the signals in thinking she wanted an informal friendship (she greets with a hug, is complimentary about my work etc etc). I basically feel as if I've been rejected by the cool kids. Should I apologise, ignore, what? I'm massively overthinking this but I feel I've made a massive tit of myself and don't know what to do next time I see her.

Nobody wants an "active and political" friend. Don't be that person!

And yeah definitely don't ever add people from work on Facebook, especially your bosses boss! if you're not friends outside of work.

Please don’t worry!!! I have added all my bosses that I have got on with and lots of my colleagues and they have all said yes so it isn’t necessarily a weird thing to do. But if they didn’t I would just not make a thing out of it at all and carry on as normal. Maybe later down the line when you are closer (if that happens) you can make a joke out of it but probably best to try to forget about it. It definitely doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you as everyone has different criteria for who they want as friends on there (eg only people you socialise with outside work)

I have my MD on my Whats App, it is used solely at weekends to rip the piss out of each other vis a vis rugby scores.

I was only there about six weeks when FB suggested him as a friend, I stuck my head in the door of his office and said, FB thinks we should be friends................ Love you dearly in rugby sort of way, nothing personal but I said thanks but no thanks.

Don't sweat it op! Honestly you've done nothing wrong here but a friendly gesture. You certainly shouldn't feel stupid for this. If anything your boss should feel alittle awkward for rejecting, but probably just wants to maintain a professional relationship, just carry on as normal. If anythings ever said (which I doubt it will be) I'd just say oh I hadn't noticed!
And for what it's worth, I was friends with my boss on fb, as were alot of other colleagues, and one day she just deleted the majority of us, just leaving a few on there? A few at the same level as me too?Found that abit hurtful, but then thought, I'm just thinking too much into this, it's only bloody Facebook! honestly don't worry at all!

Be happy about that.

Being fb friends with your supervisor is a can of worms for most people. You're sick but make an fb post. Will your boss be annoyed?

That admittedly wouldn't be an issue for me because I honestly haven't made an fb post in several years (I just semi regularly scrub up my profile for professional reasons) but it sounds to me as if you're still fairly active...

So yeah, bullet dodged. Don't mention it to your supervisor. Ever.

Boundaries! Your boss is not your friend. Needing to be liked is codependent behaviour. Google! I had years of this and wish I'd known.

You lost me at the "active and political" as well. I expect your boss has been given the heads up on your social media presence and doesn't want to be associated with it.

She did the right thing rejecting you. She has a responsibility to maintain boundaries because she always has to be your manager first. Don't take it to heart, but don't friend request managers in the future.

What do you mean by 'Active and political'?

Why would you to be friends with your boss?? And have them spying on you. Just no, ignore it and leave it.

only befriend equals in seniority on Facebook. the people she is already friends with were probably at the same level once. a fb friendship between a manager and direct report junior isn't wise. you would need to think every time you post whether it's something inappropriate fir your boss to see.

This is why I never joined FB. So much potential for cringe like this. I would fret too but I think others are right, just move on and if it came up in some way you could say you realised it was a mistake. It may not be that you personally have been rejected, perhaps she’s realised it wasn’t a good idea to have other people as FB friends so now has a policy of reject.

I had someone accept my friend request the other day. I have no idea who this person is so can only assume that it was errant behaviour from my thumb whilst scrolling through my feed
I would never mention it and if it was ever brought up by her/him I'd feign ignorance and say 'how embarrassing I had no idea I'd done that'

Well I’ve learnt something from this thread! To ignore requests rather then reject them immediately!
I recently rejected one of the school mums, but have accepted others. Oppps. She sent me a message too asking if everything was ok between us. Oh dear.

@Molly2010 did you pretend you accidentally rejected her then add and mute?

No! I replied to her message saying everything was fine!
She hasn’t mentioned the Facebook request but it must be because of that because I rejected it as soon as it came through!
Going forward I shall tactically ignore.

always quite pleased to get friends requests. And at least I won't have to censor my posts or think about how anything I write may compromise my professional life. I'm very active and political on social media so I may even have dodged a bullet there whilst paying her a compliment.

Oh goodness. You should absolutely censor yourself if you befriend people from your place of work! Whether they're your superiors or not. But especially if they're your superiors.

I think it's probably because she's known them longer, and back in the day three years ago I think a lot of people were more relaxed about their social media presence. I've always been very cautious about having work colleagues on social media and with the exception of two work friends, one of which I've been friends with for over a decade, I'm not friends with any colleagues. There a couple I became friends with after they left so we could keep in touch easily, but not while they worked here.

I wouldn't be offended at all - I'd just ignore and move on.

Ignore but think of this as a lucky escape. FB keeps suggesting my boss as a new friend and I just ignore it. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to mix work with social life.

Are you very young OP?

I never mix my private life with work and would never invite work colleagues to become FB friends.
In your case, I would just forget it and move on. I don’t suppose your boss’s boss will hold it against you!

Yeah, I'm sorry op but why would you wish to be having access like that to your bosses private life? Why were you face book stalking her?

God that is so over the top, bit of a mean girl are you? Stalking her?! FFS.

OP, just move on. Probably doesn't know you as well as the others, they were prob added much earlier. For all you know she may have them on a 'limited' view, which is what I do for anything professional / acquaintance level. But it would cause more issues for her to 'unfriend' them. You're overthinking is all, she'll have forgotten already. Keep busy.

Since when did fb send rejection notifications?

Maybe she likes to post pictures of herself topless on her FB page or something and doesn't want to scare you/ seem unprofessional. Don't worry about it.

Since when did fb send rejection notifications I was also wondering this.