Temporary move away from DC

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DS would be 19, still living at home, 2nd year of university. DD would be 13.
We are not in the UK.
There is a slight chance of an 9 month secondment coming up to another country, 2 flights and 8 hours away. There would be 4 2 week periods when DC could visit or I could go home.
DP passed away some years ago, but DC would be living in the our same house, with grandparents.
DD could possibly come to new country for a term, learn new language etc. Her education wouldn't suffer, could easily reintegrate back into school system here.
However the real issue isn't that, it's leaving them for so long.
Am I crazy even exploring this? I'll be honest, it's mainly for the money.
I could save enough in 9 months to cover DD's university degree.
The topic came up and I had a fantasy of doing it. I would come back to my old job with enough money for DD (I have just about enough for DS, but it's taken me a while).

Forgot to mention, the 4 2 week periods are when I am free. DC could come and stay whenever they are free, and for longer.

Also, DC were born here, it's their home. They'd be in their natural environment, the town where they were born.

Leaving them at home with another parent? I wouldn’t, but I can see why people would consider it.

When their other parent had died? Not a chance would I do it.

Firstly, what do your children think of the idea?

I don’t know, I can see the temptation but I think a 13 year old who’s already lost her dad might really struggle without her mum for 9 months. Maybe talk to her and see what she thinks?

No, I wouldn't to be honest, but given their ages, maybe try talking to them and see what they think.

DS says he's fine. DD too, but who knows? She said she'd like to come for the whole 9 months.
DP died years ago, just to be clear. It's not a recent bereavement but yes, I know what you mean.
Like I say, this is just a vague concept at the moment.

Do they live with their grandparents and you already? So that part is set

Talk to them now before you apply explain what it is and why you are thinking of it. Get them involved and see what they think and how it might work and take it from there

I wouldn’t leave my children as their father has died also.

Sorry yes, DP's parents live next door. Literally.

I would do it but consider taking dd, the 19 year old home alone with grandparents next door is fine

If the kids are happy with the idea then do it. Its not that long and with Skype, facetime etc you can literally see them and have a daily chat.

I'd take the 13 yr old for the duration, if at all possible, and she wants it.
It sounds like you've thought about it, the kids would be cared for wherever they are, there is an end point, and a reason.
Explore it further - it may fall through yet.

No way- leave a 13year old?! nope, especially not given the passing of their father.

Yes, it could come to nothing, I know. If DD came for a year, she'd learn a new language (she already speaks several, so it'd be easy for her). She could integrate really easily when we came back.

Their father is not a recent bereavement (don't want to out myself), but yes, I see what you mean.

I'd do it but I'd bring the 13 year old with me - it would be a fantastic opportunity for her. The 19 year old will be fine and could come and visit too.

I don’t think it matters whether it’s a recent bereavement - even if they never knew him. You’re still their only parent.

If it was just 19 year old I’d say go for it, but with a 13 year old, I’d say either don’t go or take them with you for the whole time. As long as they are not disadvantaged in terms of education/friends etc.

I am very well paid for where I live, but the country we live in is poor compared to most of Europe.
I could never afford to send her to the UK to study, for example.

I wouldn’t be leaving a 13 year old, no!

You are the only alive parent so it’s not really ok for you to go alone, not at all

You either take the 13 year old or you don’t go...

For those of you who have replied, I am just wondering... if DP was still alive, would that make the difference? Is it leaving DD without a parent, or without a mother?
Like I say, the idea is very fresh and floating. Thank you.

I'd take the 13-year-old.

Fine if you take the 13 year old and she’s keen to go.

One of my parents did similar when my youngest sibling was 14 and it was honestly disastrous for her mental health. In retrospect my parent says it was the biggest mistake of their life.

No way.

@8by8 Thank you. Can I ask why? Did they have something underlying that was exacerbated? DD has no MH issues, but I admit it's my fear in all this.