Me again.

[mamasma]

Hi lovely people.

I constantly come back here for advice as it's the only place I can get fair straight to the point advice

If anyone remembers me,my DH left me and DD etc etc anyway two weeks ago finally got myself back on my feet (not relying on the food bank every week).However I'm really panicking about Christmas.My DD is 5 and she's always had lots of presents at Christmas (pfb) etc this year I can't afford presents never mind a tree how do I explain that to a kid?how do you when she believes in Santa and thinks he's bringing her lots of presents and all her friends get the same!I don't want sympathy I want to know what to do to make this not as hard for DD.

Thanks everyone!

Buy her lots of small things and individually wrap them. It will still look like she has a lot of presents.

Also take this opportunity to teach her about how some people have nothing and she should be very thankful. Talk to her about charity ect...and how happy you are that you get to be with her in a warm home on Christmas. Then shower her with lots of hugs and kisses.

And by small things I mean like chocolate bars and oranges ect...stocking fillers.

Lovely ideas thank you,I'm not able to function and think logically because of all this and MN is my only 'safe space' to get advice so thank you for taking the time to write back.

No problem. I'm sure you're doing better than you think and it will get easier :)

I still remember - when I was young one Christmas, I really wanted a puppy in my pocket kennel thingy and my mum said she couldn't afford it. I said 'Santa will manage' and she said/- he couldn't either. I felt more worse for my mum having to tell me this than I did about knowing I wouldn't get the toy.

I think kids understand better than we give them credit for and if you let her know in advance that money is a little tight this year you'll probably find she will be a lot more understanding than expected.

Just tell her you have to keep it small this year but you will still have a fun day together. Eg: watch frozen n have her fave Cake or something.

You could even get her to paint a picture of a Christmas tree and choose the corner to hang it in.

Is there anything she’s asked for?

Thank you pink they are lovely ideas I will try anything to make the day a little happier!Shes wrote a list,which makes no sense but she has circled everything in a Smyths book that had to.l come through the door 😭

If there's a couple of things she's desperate for that you could spend a few pounds on, it may be worth trying to find them or similar on ebay. They of course don't have to be brand new. And like pp said, a few cheap wee things from wilko, home bargains etc.

Does your local town have a Facebook buy and sell page? If you post on there explaining your situation, there may be people wanting to de-clutter with toys, etc in the lead up to to Christmas. People are kind, and even more so at this time of year!

I think I will at least need to try and get some little pound toys for something to open.last year she wasn't fussed about Christmas but this year she's at school and it's all the talk about!

And what I didn't specify was that people may be willing to part with toys for free, or just a few pence/pounds depending what it is

Yes!i never thought of that,I will try that also.Anything at this point.

Will her dad not contribute to her Santa gifts.

Is there a community outreach programme near you? They often put together presents for families at this time of year.

Otherwise poundshop or Home Bargain or B&M if you've any money at all to spare, you could get a few gifts so she has things to open.

Freecycle, FB marketplace, etc often have toys and things at this time of year.

What is your budget? What is she asking for?

Her dad is unreachable at the moment!!i wasn't aware of all these groups and things I will definitely look into that,because of various debts,mortgage,meters since he left my budget will be 15-£20 and that's pushing it.

I'm mortified I'm even admitting this.

She wants a tablet as hers disappeared the same time as the father,she does get on fine with my phone that iv now accepted is pretty much hers

Charity shops too- I bought board games for my two today for £1.50 each, Kids books are often cheap as anything (20p each), clothes, little handbag or toys? You could buy a few things each week. Plus decorations can be very cheap there as they only have a very short window of time to sell Xmas stuff.

I spent £15 on DD (6) last year - charity shops! I got a £4 neighing horse and she LOVED it! Also lots of other cheap as chips toys, teddies and dresses and all wrapped individually it looked great :)

Secondhand is fine. Wipe over with disinfectant. Job done. Lots of toys and games in my local barnardos charity shop. You can get brand new unopened stuff too really cheap.

I'm ashamed to admit Iv never properly looked in a charity shop but guess where I'm going when I get paid!all great idea thank you I feel much better x

I don’t think there is anything wrong with presents that are second hand so go round your local charity shops and look on gumtree or Fb buy swap sell sites. I always get toys this way even at Christmas and sell them when DS has grown out of them. Toys don’t need a box.
Also my DS will not be getting most of what is on his Christmas list, he has asked for rain, chocolate, nerf gun, iPhone (as if , he’s 7 ), a backpack with 20 pockets (he already has a good school bag so he won’t be getting another) and a hot wheels Id track that he has seen on YouTube which I can’t get in my country.
I am sure you can make it magical.

Children love little things. We always put some useful things in the stocking- but a bit fancier. So bubble bath, hair bobbles, cute toothbrush, even fun socks. Things you have to get anyway. Some balloons, a ball of elastic bands, bottle of bubbles, a bottle or can of a special drink, something she doesn't normally get (we used to have babycham! She could have shandy, or chocolate milk). Scarf, gloves, hat.

Present wise, make things look bigger by putting them in a box before wrapping them. Anything which is inflatable, blow it up first. The pound shop can have some nice things- inflatable guitar, wig, A Santa hat, microphone, glasses, and a picture frame, all in a box as a pop star kit, so you can take pictures of her.

Places like primary and Wilco do really good, cheap make up. She could have some lip glosses and a mirror.

Honestly if you can be creative, a little can go a long way!

Hair bobbles & clips, nail polish (if you’re brave enough - or tell her that you keep it in your bathroom, etc) lip balm

Tell DD that the mums and dads have to send Santa the money and he just delivers. Explain that not all mummies and daddies can afford to send much money to Santa.

Uy things she needs and would buy anyway. Ie shampoo, tooth paste, shower gel, tooth brush but get cartoony ones. We often but our kids these sort of things and wrap them up.