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Me again.

78 replies

mamasma · 26/11/2019 19:58

Hi lovely people.

I constantly come back here for advice as it's the only place I can get fair straight to the point advice Grin

If anyone remembers me,my DH left me and DD etc etc anyway two weeks ago finally got myself back on my feet (not relying on the food bank every week).However I'm really panicking about Christmas.My DD is 5 and she's always had lots of presents at Christmas (pfb) etc this year I can't afford presents never mind a tree how do I explain that to a kid?how do you when she believes in Santa and thinks he's bringing her lots of presents and all her friends get the same!I don't want sympathy I want to know what to do to make this not as hard for DD.

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:
Dilkhush · 26/11/2019 21:58

We have an Unemployed Families Centre in my city - maybe ask the food bank if you have something like that? Ours has lots of donated toys, books, clothes etc that people can help themselves too. Father and Mother Christmas visit every year with presents. Everyone is welcome, it's a warm and comforting place.

sureiscold · 26/11/2019 22:02

Hi OP, I have a 5 year old DD. I'd love to help out. I'm not sure if we can exchange private messages but I'd be happy to send you some of her toys. They are brand new and unopened in a box. Her birthday was last week and we have such big families that she got given more gifts than she can play with. I was going to donate some locally but please get in touch xx

Michaelbaubles · 26/11/2019 22:05

Ok for £15 this is what I’d do:

Charity shop near me does 5 books for £1
Another charity shop toy -preferably something big!
Pound shop for biscuit cutters and cheap play dough
A selection box
Wilko do Lego-a-like sets - the £5 ones are pretty good! They also do nice doll things.
Pack of finger paints, some coloured paper, glitter glue set
Net of chocolate coins

And...top tip...

A packet of balloons blown up and arranged round the presents makes it look more impressive and adds lot of play fun!

Beetlebum1981 · 26/11/2019 22:10

I've come across these websites when looking for cheap bits although you have to pay for delivery.

www.poundtoy.com/pages/delivery

toysforapound.com

ConcentricCircles · 26/11/2019 22:16

MamasMa,
You can both make your own tree using any Christmas cards you receive, and if you don't have enough, cut out pics from magazines, or draw your own and arrange on a wall using blu-tac (see pic).

*Create a 'gift' box.... Find a a box that will hold a few postcard sized pieces of card/paper. Cut out small pieces of card (old xmas cards are good for this) and write 'to do' gifts on them that you know she will like, and let her choose just one a day - EG:..........

Baking gift simple biscuits together that she can decorate - icing and smarties always did it for my boy. Edible glitter anyone? Take pics before they all get eaten.

A winter picnic in the park gift (take a flask of hot chocolate and some little sandwiches, perhaps). Collect 'treasures to take home and put in a bowl to be talked about and admired.

weather gift . If it's raining go puddle jumping, plus stand an empty jam jar outside to collect the rain to see how much fell. Windy - make flags using some cloth tied to a stick and go outside somewhere to make them flap. Or streamers - approx 10 longish lengths paper - magazine/wrapping/whatever, all glued/selotaped to the top of a stick. Run around outside with them to watch them shake. Snowy - take a stick and draw patterns/ pictures in it.or just stomp up and down to hear it crunch underfoot. Take pics. Go inside and draw snowflakes or cut out of paper.

Make bunting gift - a piece of string, some fabric - or paper which can be decorated. cut out some longish triangle shapes(2 long sides, 1 short side). lay string along short side with a fold over allowance. Fold over and glue down. Decorate the house!

Write a very own story gift- have a blank note/scrap book with just a few pages in - maybe 10. you start the story and write a short sentence in the 1st page - eg - yesterday I put on my big boots, went to the allotment and dug up a carrot/treasure box/ old spoon. etc.
DD then adds her contribution to the story on the next page. You can both draw amazing pics all the way through it. (Doesn't matter if bits of stories she's already heard get added in).

Maybe 5-6 'gifts' in the box, but only one can be taken out each day. But by the end of the week she should have a collection of very special gifts that will hopefully inspire other things to do.

You've probably already thought of these 'to do' things, but I remember doing these and other, similar activities with my boy, the 1st xmas we found ourselves alone.
I don't remember how cold the house was, or that we had cold meat, chips n beans for xmas dinner - honestly!!. I just remember the fun we had....and I've still got the story we wrote together, several decades later.

I hope it helps Smile

Ps - glitter is conditional..........on everything!

Me again.
mamasma · 27/11/2019 09:34

Thank you very much for the lovely replies and advice it's exactly what I was looking for during my meltdown last night!
@sureiscold thank you so very very much for your lovely kind offer,you and your DD are so kind it really made me smile.I would feel even worse for taking another child's toys so I'm going to try charity shops and things but from the bottom of my heart thank you I really appreciate it xxx

OP posts:
nespressowoo · 27/11/2019 09:36

Where I work, there's a charity that will supply a few presents for children. Do you have that where you are? Where are you based?

nespressowoo · 27/11/2019 09:38

I've just seen this too - saw something about a tablet in your PP x

Me again.
kierenthecommunity · 27/11/2019 09:44

Another vote for second hand, and you can feel virtuous that you’re saving the planet too Smile

Have you got a tip shop where you live? I got my 7 year old boy a Bop It for 50p, Junior Game of Life for £1 and triominoes for 50p

Got a Nerf gun and target from Facebook marketplace for £8

And a set of Horrid History books from a charity shop for £3

Deadringer · 27/11/2019 09:55

I am in Ireland op so no use to you, but there are likely to be lots of people in your area who would be very happy to give you good quality toys they don't need anymore. You will very likely get a (fake) Christmas tree too, but you will have to scour local selling pages as pp have said. Lots of charities give new toys and consumables to families in need at Christmas, contact your local ones. There is no need to feel guilty about accepting help, think about how good people will feel if they help you out. Some day it will be you doing the giving, to someone else who is in need.

greenlobster · 27/11/2019 12:42

Poundstretcher are doing green and white 4 foot christmas trees for £3.99 at the moment. You could make it a fun project with your daughter to make homemade decorations - paper snowflakes and paper chains, wrap up some cheap sweets or chocolates in silver foil or wrapping paper and hang them on, etc. Pound shops usually have strings of battery-powered christmas lights for £1 - £2.

Blippolbblopp · 27/11/2019 13:03

Theres loads of good ideas here OP, its doable, youll be ok. As others have said Charity shops are great for stuff especially at this time of year,

Do a 12 month voucher thing where you write down 12 fun activitys/outings you and DD can go on once a month throughout the year

spiderlight · 27/11/2019 13:13

Kindle Fire on Amazon at the moment available for five monthly payments of £6 - would that make it doable? Link

Pancakeflipper · 27/11/2019 13:15

Look for events that are cheap or free, many churches have a kids nativity etc... Adds to the spirit of it being Christmas.

It will be OK x

MrsJonesAndMe · 27/11/2019 13:18

Sending you a big (((hug)) You sound so lovely!

We have various charity appeals in our area - one collecting PJs, a book and a selection box and another where you go and buy a present of your choosing to go to a child (you are specified age and gender). Can you get in touch with food banks or DV charity in your area?

I put some chocolate boxes in the food bank trolley the other day, so they are definitely collecting with a view to Christmas - I'd be thrilled if my small contribution made a difference to someone as lovely as you.

usernotfound0000 · 27/11/2019 13:21

Facebook Martketplace and charity shops. I took lots of toys to the charity shop yesterday and the lady seemed a bit miffed, they were inundated with stock (mostly toys) so worth a look.

Saker · 27/11/2019 13:21

If you join Freecyle www.freecycle.org/, you can actually post requesting certain things. Half the posts on my local site are requests so you wouldn't need to feel bad about it. Say the reason why you're asking and hopefully you will get some donations. You will probably have to pick them up though, so you need to specify where you can travel to.

Also you could wrap up one or two promises - this may not be possible as days out are usually expensive, but if there is anything you can think of that she likes to do that you don't always have time for - even just like going to the playground, maybe swimming (our leisure centres do £1 swims in the holidays). Write it out as a little story with pictures if you can! - we will wake up early and make a picnic, we will walk to the park etc, we will have a game of xyz etc and give her a choice of days she could do that on.

You could make up a story about her and write it out or record it into your phone. My kids always loved stories involving themselves discovering something magical, or meeting their favourite tv characters and having an adventure with them, that sort of thing. If it's recording then, wrap up a piece of card with a picture on saying - go to my phone and find the story about DD.

MrsJonesAndMe · 27/11/2019 13:22

Also, the library is good for getting books to help you with little craft ideas. We currently have a book out with gingerbread houses. A fun activity for a very small amount of money compared to buying a kit - they are £££ in the shops!

vivapuff · 27/11/2019 13:23

Another recommendation for Facebook groups. Is there a buy nothing group in you area (google buy nothing project). We've gotten loads of kids stuff for free that way and it's also convenient for passing items along when your done.

PhilomenaButterfly · 27/11/2019 13:23

One year we had the food bank, who also give out Christmas presents for children. We had to be referred though.

RandomMess · 27/11/2019 13:26

Have you been involved with Sure Start? In our area they usually provide one gift per child.

Also the Health Visitor May be able to refer you to food bank for specific Christmas Support???

Saker · 27/11/2019 13:27

Just had a thought also - if she has had lots of presents / clothes in previous years that she might not want any more are there any you could sell to raise a bit of money?

DobbyHP · 27/11/2019 13:31

@mamasma hi I've got my own small hair bow/accessories business. If you pop me a pm I'll send out a lovely bow box for her to open christmas day.

SlipASomethingUnderThe · 27/11/2019 13:32

Personalised book £1.99
I got one of these for my 5 year old it's lovely you can choose hair style, eye colour etc. If you order remember to cancel subscription.

Patroclus · 27/11/2019 13:33

Me and my brother used to go out at night and cut down a tree from the side of the local bypass. It was half the fun. This is definitely a terrible idea.

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