Pregnancy is not an illness

[WeShouldOpenABar]

Ok it's technically its not but for some women it's actually a series of illnesses that last nearly a year and could we please try and have a little empathy for that.

I see this statement written over and over again and I mostly just dismiss it, as the women saying it must have had easy pregnancies and they really don't understand that its not like that for everyone. The same sort of person who just can't believe that someone could have not noticed a pregnancy until quite late on because they personally felt pregnant a minute after conception.

But I'm starting to take it personally I'm heading towards being signed off work at 29 weeks. I really don't want to be, I've fought my body hard to keep control but I don't have it and I've used up all my energy on the fight. I'm really upset that are people out there who think it's lack of character or will power that have made me finally give up.

Anything that made a man gain two stone, stopped him sleeping, raised his blood pressure, loosened his joints, made his ankles swell, leached vital nutrients from his bones, stopped him being able to eat and defecate normally, altered the way and pace he walked etc etc and culminated in at least a day of agonising pain would be classified as an illness!

I think the sentiment overall is right (and I've been admitted to hospital a couple of times this pregnancy).
Overall, pregnancy isn't an illness and as a default sentiment it's probably reasonable to start there. Some people do make a huge fuss and drama over typical pregnancy minor gripes because they're pregnant and/or like to be "amazed" that anyone might continue basic things or exercise etc. These people would be like that whether pregnant or having the snuffles though.

However, things don't always go swimmingly and for many others it's really quite unpleasant at times and that also needs to be acknowledged and people need to appreciate that there are a whole range of ways that pregnancy can genuinely suck. That shouldn't be downplayed.

I've had three miscarriages in the past nearly 4 years
If I am ever lucky enough to get pregnant again (it's been a whole year of trying since the last one - I wish I knew the secret....) I will be treating my very very fragile pregnancy as an illness due to my complete paranoia. I won't be taking any risks and will be wrapping myself in cotton wool for the entirety.
Because of my losses, I wear my baby on board badge as soon as I get the positive test because I just can't take risks.

People should appreciate what others have been through, so this 'Pregnancy is not an illness' bullshit needs to fuck off. Pregnancy is an incredibly anxious and terrifying experience.

The most important thing here is you and your baby. Some people are lucky, some people aren't. It's not a competition. You're not well, in the third trimester and you need to take it easy.

Well I technically 'died' giving birth to two birth children and was in hospital for nearly 18 months in total....it definitely made me ill.

Pregnancy is not an illness but it is a medical condition. It can also cause related illnesses.

When I mentioned how ill I felt during my first pregnancy I was told by a few women (including some on a thread I started on MN) that I should count my blessings, there are women ttc who would do anything to be in my position, what about the pregnant women in Third World countries who are not as lucky as me, it is not an illness etc etc.

Needless to say, during my second pregnancy I kept most of my ailments to myself.

It’s a phrase designed to belittle the suffering of women.

I think there's a tendency to either think pregnant women should be wrapped in cotton wool and do nothing or to act as though they should carry on entirely as normal because "it's not an illness". Both schools of thought are, frankly, ridiculous.

Keeping active when pregnant is a good thing, so insisting that pregnant women sit at all times and don't carry anything (someone tried to carry my sandwich back from the shops for me once) isn't helpful.

Equally, our bodies undergo huge changes that can have a massive and varying impact on our health, fitness and general energy levels. (No. Fatigue is not just like being very tired.) When that happens allowances need to be made and support given.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough pregnancy OP. Your right. Flippant statements like that are so unhelpful. Individually and to society as a whole.

@Marlena1 that's something I really need to hear thanks

I guess I'm disappointed in myself because I did kind of believe the sentiment, even though I had a hard time last pregnancy I guess I did think it was weakness on my part that caused it. This time around though I think anyone would have broken under the strain my body is under and I'm trying hard to stop blaming myself.

Pregnancy isn't an illness. It can have numerous medical concerns resulting from it. Pre eclampsia, blood clots, extreme nausea, water retention and swelling, fainting/blood pressure, acid reflux.

Then there's the potential repercussions from the birth. Tears, infections, blood transfusions, trauma.

As someone who's had one singleton pregnancy and fainted all 9 months of it, and someone now pregnant with (surprise) twins, which have made me so ill I had to stop work at 2 months pregnant, and I genuinely went to the doctors saying "I honestly think I'm dying", I can confirm pregnancy makes you very ill...but yes, if people want to split hairs and be deliberately anal over it, it's not an illness.

I hate that saying. My second pregnancy was awful, I was sick every day until he was born, had blood pressure issues and felt awful the whole way through, People try to belittle how difficult pregnancy can be.

I was unwell most of first pregnancy multiple hospital admissions was horrible I was quite young too. Then no2 was lovely once the nausea settled down but 3&4 my pelvis was very very painful signed off @ 28 weeks and 26 with ds4 just felt rotten and the pain was indescribable. I also had Bell’s palsy with ds4 after an infection to my ear/face then kidney stones at the end of my pregnancy. Def no more babies for me.

You shouldn't blame yourself OP.
It can be bloody tough at times.

I think PP has it spot on. The idea that pregnant women need to start behaving pathetically and not doing anything, wrapped in cotton wool etc is ridiculous, but so's the idea that because pregancy isn't an illness women should carry on as normal and collect their golden bump award for who can singlehandedly tile a bathroom after work whilst getting tea on the table.

There's no award for trying to be superwoman.

I semi-agree with you. The dismissive tone of the saying is insensitive and annoying for sure. However, pregnancy itself is not an illness - it is a state that can make you vulnerable to all sorts of miserable illnesses as listed above but it is not the pregnancy that is the illness.

I realise that semantics are really not your highest priority when you are ill and worried and being signed off work at 29 weeks. However, from the perspective of building up women's rights in general, it is important to differentiate between the pregnancy (which is a state which as you say many women are lucky enough to breeze through) and the illnesses (which can affect some women dramatically). Making this differentiation ensures that women as a whole receive less negative discrimination due to pregnancy, because the illnesses which some pregnant women suffer can be managed separately (under the same rules that give men and non-pregnant women rights and protections when ill) and this should mean that pregnancy itself is not treated as a source of concern about a woman's ability to do her job.

I was signed off at around 9/10 weeks because I would not stop throwing up (there are strong, unavoidable smells in my work environment which have never bothered me before). Throwing up to the point I’d have to go to hospital and be rehydrated, or I’d pass out at work. It was deemed safer to be at home by my doctor and the occupational health person.
The throwing up wasn’t gone but much better at home where I could avoid smells that set me off badly.
So I’d say I was pretty damn sick....no it wasn’t an illness as such but any state of being that forces a hospital admission for basic fluids should be treated as serious and debilitating.
Luckily this pregnancy is going much better and I am incredibly grateful for that, I can do more and take care of my daughter which just wouldn’t be possible if I was as unwell as last time.
Women who have uncomplicated pregnancy and sufferer minimal/no adverse effects have every right to enjoy their experience, but I will not be belittled for what I have gone through because I wasn’t as lucky. My mother being a prime example.....a lovely woman, but loves being pregnant and having babies and does so with ease....constantly on my case when I say I feel sick or tired...even if I breathe heavily (I swear this child is living up in my lungs.....)

@Frazzlerock I hadn't seen your post when I replied. You are 100% allowed cotton wool.

I think PP has it spot on. The idea that pregnant women need to start behaving pathetically and not doing anything, wrapped in cotton wool etc is ridiculous
Maybe if you'd experienced multiple miscarriages you'd think differently? It is far from ridiculous.
I was terrified of moving or doing any normal things during pregnancy after I suffered my first MC, and I will be terrified if I am ever lucky enough to get pregnant again. It's such a fraught time that you cannot help but wrap yourself in cotton wool in fear of yet another baby dying.
Pregnancy has to be the most nerve wracking thing for a woman to go through after MC. All normal activity is put on hold for 9 months (if we even get that far). During my last pregnancy I was too scared to move from the sofa, scared that if I got up awkwardly or too fast, I'd lose the baby. Our little boy died anyway, but that fear will never ever go away despite him dying regardless. So cotton wool it is (though I doubt I will be lucky enough to get pregnant again anyway)

Pregnancy is not an illness, it’s true.
BUT it can make a woman very ill indeed.
Speaking as a former hyperemesis sufferer.

to anyone suffering at the moment and @frazzlerock if you feel the need to glue yourself to the sofa in future don't feel guilty over it

I had this from my own mother, when during pregnancy number four after 3 miscarriages, I went for a nap in the afternoon.

'Your not I'll you know...just pregnant'

I had been diagnosed with a condition that causes miscarriages and took daily injections and medications to keep baby alive.

Some people can't help themselves. Perhaps an era thing too?

Frazzlerock
I don't want to our my circumstances. Whilst not the same as yours, far from simple.

The best advice I was given was that there's no need to stop doing everything. Of course, I dialed some elements of life back a bit, was a bit cautious etc. But, there isn't a medical reason to wrap in cotton wool and all feedback from Dr and midwives has been that I've been better for doing things

I wish I had ignored the 'not an illness' brigade through my first pregnancy. I struggled so much to keep up the facade of coping that I became very low and anxious and by the time I went into labour I felt like I'd already failed. In hindsight, I feel so sad that I entered the most difficult stage of my life so far already feeling like I couldn't cope. We should be supporting women, not acting like pregnancy, childbirth, pmt, menopause are no big deal. They are.

Pregnancy in itself is not an illness, although I did feel very, very poorly with dc2. I was sick almost daily - by the end I’d done so much damage to my esophagus

Posted too soon
Damage to my esophagus that I was vomiting blood. I also had raised blood pressure and carpal tunnel syndrome so painful that I had to wear 2 wrist splints and couldn’t sleep at all. So no pregnancy is not an illness, but it can make you feel very unwell.