Pregnancy is not an illness

[WeShouldOpenABar]

Ok it's technically its not but for some women it's actually a series of illnesses that last nearly a year and could we please try and have a little empathy for that.

I see this statement written over and over again and I mostly just dismiss it, as the women saying it must have had easy pregnancies and they really don't understand that its not like that for everyone. The same sort of person who just can't believe that someone could have not noticed a pregnancy until quite late on because they personally felt pregnant a minute after conception.

But I'm starting to take it personally I'm heading towards being signed off work at 29 weeks. I really don't want to be, I've fought my body hard to keep control but I don't have it and I've used up all my energy on the fight. I'm really upset that are people out there who think it's lack of character or will power that have made me finally give up.

I know that it's technically not an illness but agree OP - I've been left barely able to walk - and when I manage a shuffle it's horrendously painful - due to SPD and sciatica. I had HG for the first three months of my pregnancy and couldn't even keep water down - it was essentially like having norovirus for three months.
I also developed excruciating hormonal migraines and have had multiple UTIs.
So it's fair to say I've not been in the best of help and it REALLY annoys me when people say cheerily 'pregnancy isn't an illness, it's all only temporary'. Yes, I am aware of that but you try having to climb up the stairs on all fours to bed each night nearly crying in pain, and have to do a bloody 10 step manoeuvre just to roll over in the night!

chipsychopsy
I think the need to keep a facade is separate to the view that pregnancy is not being an illness.

Some people are inconsiderate, full stopz and they put pressure on women to ignore very real medical issues linked to pregnancy. Equally some women think there is an award for how easy they've had everything, or how they felt so so so terrible but soldiered on like superwoman. Most people fall in the middle.

I found pregnancy not being an illness true and empowering, even with the issues and the hospital stays. Certain parts of it have been rubbish, but I've liked retaining some perspective on the whole thing.

Then again, DH is really supportive, as are friends and family so there's no need to keep up a facade when things are tough and I'm feeling crap.

Thing is nothing you do will cause a miscarriage so all you achieve by wrapping yourself in cotton wool is a very hard 9 months for yourself. If your baby is meant to be, it will be you really have very little control over it and Yes I’ve had miscarriages, I also had a stillbirth at 35 weeks so I know all too well what it’s like to lose a child.

Unless you are suffering with bad morning sickness or other complications, there is really no reason why a pregnant woman can’t carry on as normal.

It’s either men or women who sailed through pregnancy that spout that one.. normal sane people who’ve witnessed a pregnant woman who didn’t fart out the baby don’t.

One of my higher ups at work told me that.. and proceeded to tell me she didn’t find out she was even pregnant until 19 weeks! While I had hg, couldn’t stand up for 5 minutes or I’d faint along side nerve pain that made me walk like I’d been hit by a bus..

Pregnancy might not cause problems for all but neither do all medical conditions.

It feels like one. I don’t think anyone would feel sick all day every day, perhaps vomit all day too for months and say it wasn’t an illness.

For the record, my beef is with other people insisting that pregnant women women wrap themselves in cotton wool, regardless of circumstances or what the woman in question wants. (Just the other side of the coin to insisting we grin and bear it because it's "not an illness".)

If you're struggling and need to do so, rock on. And while doing so may not prevent miscarriage, if a woman has experienced miscarriages and it helps her mental health to do so, then that's just as important as protecting her physical health.

Pregnancy is not an illness true. But my autoimmune hypothyroidism, my clotting disorder, the cysts I get regularly due to PCOS, my dangerously low blood pressure, my genetic red blood cell disorder, all are. I refuse to ‘soldier on’ and ignore symptoms that could kill me to make others happy even if they are medical professionals.

I suspect that originally the phrase wasn’t aimed at pregnant women themselves (in a “pull yourself together” fashion) but at those who wanted to limit what women do unnecessarily when pregnant. But as with all these things if there’s a way of turning it against women then people will.

(Which is more or less what ChaosMoon is saying!)

The issue is that whilst the statement is factual, it’s used to minimise the very real and debilitating conditions women suffer as a result of pregnancy.

Echoing pp here.

Pregnancy isn't an illness, but it can sure as shit cause it.

IvinghoeBeacon
I agree with you.

Considering I've had appropriate medical advice from doctors and midwives who are overseeing my care I've still had people tell me I shouldn't be doing the following at different stages of pregnancy:

• going to the gym and maintaining exercise (at a point of no issues and all approved by HCP)
• going to the supermarket
• putting the laundry on
• walking the dogs (despite loads of clear guidance on the benefits of walking)
• going to work / continuing to work past when people think it's acceptable

I've also been told that "Make sure DH is looking after you... Get DH to give you a foot rub because you're pregnant... Get yourself a spa afternoon to relax because you're pregnant... Get DH to walk the dogs because you're pregnant... What do you mean DH has gone out for the day? You're pregnant!"
DH is wonderful and supportive and certainly doesn't need to become my live in maid because I'm too fragile to life a finger. He'd do 100% of the chores if I needed him to without grumbling, but it's not needed.

Being able to point out that pregnancy isn't an illness and that as a grown woman I'm more than capable of listening to my body and taking appropriate precautions in line with medical advice has been central to keeping me sane through this pregnancy.
I've had far, far more people try to give me cotton wool advice than minimise the issues (though I don't doubt that some people do minimise and expect women to carry on as normal).