Dd is 11, she's lazy and a bit selfish, but Ime that's nothing too out of the ordinary at this age. She's a nice girl and she does as she's told (eventually!) she's definitely not unruly or naughty, just a bit grumpy at times and complains when she's asked to do things round the house.
Dh struggles more with the kids when they're older, think he managed better with toddlers he can tell what to do for eg.
Tonight he asked Dd11 to wash up, which she did, but she left some so he told her to do it properly, about half an hour later he asked her to tidy up a bit in the living room. She said no, gave some back chat etc and went up to her room.
He went up a few minutes later and threatened to take her phone away, she said she didn't care, he threatened to snap it in two, she didn't care, so he walked out and slammed her bedroom door and said she was a cocky piece of shit.
He said he muttered it but she heard him through the door.
I've told him it's totally unacceptable, and if this is how he deals with, what I feel is, normal mild pre teen rebellion/asserting themself, pushing boundaries, how on earth is he going to deal with her when she really starts with the teenage behaviour. I have told him it can't happen again. She's a child ffs. He agreed and said I'm right but I can tell he thinks I'm overreacting.
He did go up and apologise to her, but from being with him for years he does have a habit of apologising and doing the thing he apologised for again. I'm not going to tolerate it, I know we all snap sometimes but come on. I feel like it's worse than smacking a kids bottom for being naughty. Or am I totally overreacting?
Dd was really upset