Very strained relationship between dh and her. She’s always made him feel guilty, had a go at him for moving out at age 25 (!), cried and told him how he’d upset her when we moved an hour away to be nearer good schools, and tried to get him to give her thousands of his inheritance money. I could give HUNDREDS of examples like that.
Anyway, a month ago, after being battered by her by email about ‘I want to come and visit next week/ the week after/ the week after that’ for years and years and her not accepting that he doesn’t want her around every five minutes, he snapped and told her angrily that she’s manipulative and to pack it in with the incessant visit requests. All went quiet for a few weeks and then slowly things went back to normal. She came to visit yesterday and my god it was like PULLING FUCKING TEETH. First she asked about Christmas- we see her every other Xmas through gritted teeth but cannot deal with every single one so said we were seeing my family. We then got a grilling for literally an hour about what days are we seeing them/ how are we getting there/ where do they live exactly/ what will we do with our pets, asking the same questions of both of us, I’m sure to test us. Then it became a hammering over what day can we see her before Xmas despite dh telling her a thousand times that he never knows his shifts until the weekend prior. ‘ I can do this day that day or that day’ she was going, which weekdays/ weekends are better, we could come to her or she could come to us, what about this that and the other, I felt like shouting but just tried to do the ‘grey rock’ technique and give simple answers. She then made sure we knew we had ruined her life over not seeing her at Xmas, ‘it’s not nice being on your own’ she kept saying, ‘you’ve left me in a pickle now’. Never mind that she never saw her own ailing mother at Xmas or that she’s fallen out with everyone else.
I’m so ducking frustrated that she’s made dh’s life a misery forever yet refuses to realise that because of that we don’t want to see her and continues to drone on.
I wish he’d go NC but he won’t because she’s unstable and has attempted suicide in the past.
If you’ve read all of that rant, thank you. I can’t talk to dh yet as dc still up! Needed to vent/ scream.