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Original poster

I'm not "passionate" about anything really... Are you?

73 replies

JuneSpoon · 21/11/2019 22:38

I was watching a Tony Robbins video where a couple were having marital problems. Tony said "rediscover your wife! What is she passionate about?" . In another clip he then mentioned Mother Teresa "and I asked her 'what are you passionate about?'" (she was passionate about people dying with a smile on their face as a creepy aside). So that got me thinking - I'm not passionate about anything. I love my DC. I like a clean house. I'm happy to do a bit of yoga, sew, read a bit and chat with friends. My job is enjoyable for the most part. My DH is passionate about the area he works in but that doesn't really pay the bills. I feel like I haven't got the energy to be passionate. I don't mean that in a martyr way. Just... I'm happy to tootle along, make a bit of money, pay my bills, I'd like more free time to chill out. But passion? Not really.

Am I the only one? Is everyone else passionate about something?

OP posts:

Blobby10 · 22/11/2019 13:39

So glad I'm not the only one who doesn't really feel passionate about anything! I enjoy lots of things but wouldn't say I'm passionate about them. I've always been the same and it used to make me feel even more inadequate than life already made me feel but I've grown up a bit now (aged 50) as I've realised that I can be who the hell I want to be and feel how I want to feel - its nothing to do with anyone else 😊

newdeer · 22/11/2019 13:46

I used to be passionate about things and tbh I miss it. I had so much energy for my career and for things I loved to do. That all got sidelined when DC came along. Not in a bad way - I do feel passionate about my DC and our family. But as you say, there's no energy left for it. I miss having that energy and excitement and pleasure at doing what I loved.

BeThere · 22/11/2019 14:04

Nah, never have been really .
I always envied people who were passionate about a certain career path, which seemed to make it much easier to choose one, and often meant they enjoyed work rather than just did it for the money. My job is fine, don't mind it at all, but it doesn't have a huge amount of meaning.

Or people who are really into a hobby and become brilliant at it- I tried many, and enjoyed most (salsa, swimming, karate, guitar), but never stuck with any long enough to become really good at them.

Or fighting for a cause- I mean I recycle, give to charity, sign the odd petition here and there, but I'd never care enough to say protest or chain myself to a building or even try to influence anyone else much.

I feel like if that was ever going to happen it would've been in my 20's. Now that I'm approaching 40, I'm too busy in work, settled in life and too tired with kids to care enough anyway

OhHereSheIs · 22/11/2019 14:08

I used to be passionate about horse riding. I was pony mad from a young age when the highlight of my week was helping out at the local riding school every Sunday. I rode for about twenty five years until I was quite badly injured in a nasty fall and I’ve lost my nerve ever since. I’ve tried to get back in the saddle with the help of a really patient instructor but I’m just a bag of nerves and can’t enjoy it anymore.
I still love horses despite not having the confidence to ride so I started volunteering for Riding for Disabled and this is my new passion. I absolutely love it and find it so rewarding.

Margotshypotheticaldog · 22/11/2019 14:52

I have the Passion for horses, bordering on obsession. Cannot live without, spend all spare money on, make my soul sing.
I wouldn't say I'm asd, but I definitely have an addictive personality, so when I find something I like I want to do it all the time! Have been variously addicted to cigarettes and alcohol, I suspose the horse addiction is (marginally) safer. Maybe it's the ocd, addictive personality types who are more likely to have "passion"? (but it's really just another addiction?)

MotherWol · 22/11/2019 15:13

I wish I felt passionately about something. I definitely don't feel it about my work; I have a few hobbies that I really enjoy, but I wouldn't describe them in terms of can't live without them, spend all my time/money on them. I'd like to have more time to do them. I'd be inclined to agree that the notion of being passionate about something is just a buzzword - for many people they'll have interests that vary in the level of the intensity they feel for them. It doesn't mean that they're not genuinely held interests, just that not everyone feels so deeply about things.

Hefzi · 22/11/2019 15:48

Interesting thread.

I live and breathe my work, but I wouldn't say it's a passion - it's just all-consuming and all-dominating. When I was younger, I was passionate about horses and riding; then I was passionate about a particular overseas city (which, tbh, more or less ruined my life) - maybe that's why I don't feel passionate about anything now - I'm aware of the dangers of obsession? Or maybe I'm just too old and tired

milliefiori · 22/11/2019 16:29

@Hefzi - how can a city ruin your life? What city was it? Intriguing.

WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 22/11/2019 16:32

My biggest interest and care in my life are my children and I don't care how sad that makes me sound. Dogs are a close second though. Used to be running too but then I developed osteoarthritis so that was that

thistimelastweek · 22/11/2019 16:38

I prefer my equilibrium to be undisturbed

derxa · 22/11/2019 16:39

I'm passionate about my sheep.

whereishappyat · 22/11/2019 16:50

My hubby is so passionate about his hobbies and it makes me jealous that I'm not like that... I just can't seem to think of anything I enjoy enough for it to drag me off my ass and out the house. My husband thinks I should share his passion and be so excited when he brings in bits of shit he has pulled from the ground with his metal detector, sometimes I manage a "wow that looks cool" while not taking my eyes off the telly. Just doesn't interest me

Breathlessness · 22/11/2019 17:00

I’m taking ‘passion’ as meaning something that sparks joy, to borrow from Marie Kondo.

Animals. From the birds in the garden to a beautiful Labrador that comes to get pets whenever I see him to the seals I’ve seen, heads bobbing up from the waves. There are loads of animals I’ll never see first hand because I won’t go to zoos. I’d rather never see them than see them caged.

Breathlessness · 22/11/2019 17:03

I had to google the name you mentioned. I’ve never heard of him. The first results are sexual assault allegations, so I wouldn’t fret about his opinions on relationships.

formerbabe · 22/11/2019 17:04

Not really.

Maybe food...I like reading cook books, watching cookery shows and baking/cooking in general.

Original poster

JuneSpoon · 22/11/2019 17:49

Interesting responses and lots to think about. Thanks everyone for your ideas. I do agree with the suggestion that passionate people might be a bit selfish/laser focused on one thing. Also those who mentioned tiredness and Iack of energy being a factor. I also would agree with balance and the suggestion that it's more important/beneficial to be content rather than passionate.

I only mentioned Tony Robbins as he came up on you tube, it's definitely a buzzword right now used in many areas/by many people.

I'm off to Google him now after what breathlessness said.

OP posts:

RIBlue · 22/11/2019 18:03

I’ve pondered about my lack of ‘a talent’ before. I am above averagely good at a few things and have some things that I enjoy despite being average at them but i can’t sing, dance, draw or anything that generally would make a person considered talented.

Maybe if you’re spectacularly talented at something you’re more likely to be truly passionate about it rather than just enjoying it as a pastime!

Hefzi · 23/11/2019 10:51

@millifiori it can when passion leads you to make consistently make poor decisions because you put your passion above all else! It was in a country with very tight religious requirements for citizenship that I could never meet. I would only have been able to work legally had it been able to have been proved that a national couldn't have done my job. In retrospect, it was a ridiculous waste of fifteen years, even though I am now one of the world's leading experts on that country

Oakmaiden · 23/11/2019 10:53

I am passionate about Girlguiding and giving girls the courage to use their voices.

Spudlet · 23/11/2019 10:57

I was passionate about an old job, but a series of terrible bosses beat it out of me. I’m not sure I’ll ever feel like that about a job again, which is a shame really. But quite restful, in other ways. Caring too deeply can be dangerous.

gamerwidow · 23/11/2019 11:04

I'm passionate about stopping inequality in all forms but especially care about women's rights.
I'm also passionate about my job (Health Informatics) and the PTA (yeah i know).
On a more frivolous note I love all of Ryan Murphy's TV shows and cats

gamerwidow · 23/11/2019 11:06

I do think it depends how you define passionate though. I care a lot about some things but I'm not obsessive, they don't take over my every thought or anything.

SimonJT · 23/11/2019 11:15

Rugby (used to be semi-pro)
Working out (in a non-knobhead gymbore way)
Making music
I would say I’m passionate about some social issues, I donated at an illegal blood bank today as a protest.

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