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Original poster

I'm not "passionate" about anything really... Are you?

73 replies

JuneSpoon · 21/11/2019 22:38

I was watching a Tony Robbins video where a couple were having marital problems. Tony said "rediscover your wife! What is she passionate about?" . In another clip he then mentioned Mother Teresa "and I asked her 'what are you passionate about?'" (she was passionate about people dying with a smile on their face as a creepy aside). So that got me thinking - I'm not passionate about anything. I love my DC. I like a clean house. I'm happy to do a bit of yoga, sew, read a bit and chat with friends. My job is enjoyable for the most part. My DH is passionate about the area he works in but that doesn't really pay the bills. I feel like I haven't got the energy to be passionate. I don't mean that in a martyr way. Just... I'm happy to tootle along, make a bit of money, pay my bills, I'd like more free time to chill out. But passion? Not really.

Am I the only one? Is everyone else passionate about something?

OP posts:

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 22/11/2019 09:00

I used to have a hobby that I was passionate about, at school. Then I dropped out of doing it.

DH is absolutely mad about our local football team. I used to say to him, I wish I was just as passionate as you about something.

Then by accident I fell back in to my childhood hobby. I couldn't be more passionate about it if I tried. I feel very lucky. But when I am not doing it, I don't really think about that - only while I am actually doing it do I get THAT feeling

MonnaLIza · 22/11/2019 09:10

I was really passionate about my former career for which I have sacrificed a lot, including risking losing my family and damaging my mental health. I believe @Aquamarine1029 has a deep insight when she talks about the relationship between selfishness and passion, and perhaps I'd like to add the pressures from society to have a 'wow factor' job and life.

TheElfFellOffTheShelf · 22/11/2019 09:11

I'm passionate about my job, I suppose.

I enjoy things like photography and knitting and sewing but could happily not bother with them for weeks and months at a time; in fact I've kind of lost my mojo for photography (probably to do with the weather and a lack of good light, time and interesting places to go)

I love my family but they also do my head in quite a lot of the time so I wouldn't say I'm passionate about them.

I don't think I'm a passionate person tbh.

Shodan · 22/11/2019 09:15

I'm passionate about my sport (karate) and about my belief that all women should learn some kind of self-defence, so much so that I'm about to set up my own classes teaching it.

Other than that, I enjoy doing a lot of things, but couldn't say I'm passionate about them in the same way.

NotTheMrMenAgain · 22/11/2019 09:18

Similar to you here OP - lots of things I enjoy and like - but not 'passionate' about any of it. Happy just tootling through life I suppose. Being passionate sounds rather all consuming and exhausting to me. I agree with a PP who pointed out that passionate people often tend to be inherently selfish or obsessive types with a narrow, self centred view - I've come across this many times, thinking about it.

Perhaps between work, DC, older DPs and general life I don't have enough left in the tank to get passionate about much! I am besotted with my dog though

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/11/2019 09:23

It's a very overused and probably fashionable word. Now and then I get flyers from a local estate agent - 'Passionate about Property' FFS. It's their bread and butter, they have a vested interest in getting houses on their books.

I like and am interested in lots of things but wouldn't say I'm passionate about any of them.

When people are very wildly into whatever it may be, anything from cycling to model train sets, I'd be more inclined to call them obsessed. Or if it's anything needing a great deal of skill and practice, e.g. playing a musical instrument, I'd call them dedicated.

Cabbageisking · 22/11/2019 09:29

I’ve namechanged for this because I often tell this story so it could potentially be outing.

A few years ago I was at a training event and one of the trainers made a speech introducing herself dur8ng which she said ‘I am passionate about ( traing topic). Done well it can transform your practice and the lives of your clients’ and much more in the same vein. It was exciting and inspirational and at the same time it made me feel inadequate and I spent the rest of the morning pondering that I wasn't ‘ passionate’ about anything. I have likes and dislikes and definite enthusiasms but no real ‘passion’.

Feeling a bit deflated I walked to the site restaurant for lunch and to my delight there was cabbage on the menu. I suddenly realised I did halve a passion - it was cabbage! I bloody love cabbage. It’s such a versatile, delicious and underrated vegetable. It’s pretty much calorie free and full of nutrients. I felt so much better about myself and thoroughly enjoyed my cabbage based lunch.

winewolfhowls · 22/11/2019 09:33

Me too with the the skating, even tho I'm crap

1984isnow · 22/11/2019 09:35

I'm the same.

At a company I worked for we had an engineering design apprentice and I've never met anyone so passionate about what they do, and so young as well. Outside of the apprenticeship, he spent all his time designing, building things, refurbing.

He used to tell me how he would get an idea for a design, a piece of furniture or something, and couldn't go to sleep until he completed the spec and drawings ready for the next day to start looking at materials.

Honestly it was just like a foreign language to me. I can't even imagine being that passionate about something, and then also being able to do that as a career.

WalkiesPlease · 22/11/2019 09:35

@cabbageisking that is brilliant!

I don't think I've ever had a proper 'passion' (unless you can count Benedict Cumberbatch when he was playing Sherlock)

However there is plenty of stuff that I 'love' to do. Doesn't mean I do it regularly. I love to paint, but I probably do it twice a year. I get so excited for snow and sunsets and fireworks and I absolutely love cooking, so maybe that would be my 'passion' if I had to have one, but it doesn't consume my thoughts.

winewolfhowls · 22/11/2019 09:35

I'm loving that cabbage anecdote, its so good to gain pleasure from the little things in life. Much more likely to be happy than someone with a passion

Angela9 · 22/11/2019 09:44

IMO passion is born out of necessity
Not quite 'art is born from pain' but almost

Octothorpe · 22/11/2019 09:56

As PPs have noted, 'I'm passionate about....' has been hijacked as a buzzword so that when we apply for menial jobs, fill in forms etc etc, we have to appear to be insanely excited about whatever dull thing it is we are compelled (usually by the need to earn money) to do.

'I'm PASSIONATE about office-cleaning on minimum wage!' Hmmm. Possible, but unlikely.

Otherwise, it's probably just that we quite enjoy things. I like knowing that people really do have a passion for some things but I suspect they're rarer than the constant use of the term would have us believe.

TheNavigator · 22/11/2019 10:01

I'm passionate about horses, mountains and books, not necessarily in that order. Everyone that knows me would know that - I am the mad horsewoman, mountain climber, poetry lover, and reader. It is how I am and how I have always been.

I actually think I am very lucky that the things I adored passionately as a child and a teen still have the same power for me now. Climbing a mountain or riding a horse means I stay connected to my inner child that still burns under the layers of wife, mother, career woman.

Eckhart · 22/11/2019 10:04

I think contentment is miles more important than passion. Passion's like winning the lottery or meeting the love of your life: It's nice if it happens, but being able to be content without it is absolute gold.

Buddhists spend a lifetime learning to avoid passion, and they seem happy enough.

MonsteraDeliciosa · 22/11/2019 10:20

Yep, I'm another with a full passion bypass.
I love my DC, DH, house, village and dog, but these are just normal human feelings.

I'm interested in things here and there, but it doesn't hurt not to do them.
I absolutely hate being asked what my favourite anything is. I've never read a book or watched a film that I considered wonderful; I'll always find something that it's lacking in. I do, of course, enjoy things here and there, but I soon forget them and never reread m/rewatch/revisit/whatever.

I did go overboard buying yarn at one point. Perhaps that's the closet I've got.

TheNavigator · 22/11/2019 10:34

IMO passion is born out of necessity
Not quite 'art is born from pain' but almost

There could be something in that. I have suffered very severe trauma and I do think my passions have saved my life - or at least stopped me from being doped up on medication to cope.

I would not wish what I have been through on anyone, I am sure a life of contentment must be wonderful, if it is available.

WeCameToDanceWithTheDead · 22/11/2019 10:43

Probably very unmumsnetty but I'm passionate about tattoos and the music I like. I really love tattoos. I love the conventions, following different artists on social media, discovering new artists, finding an appreciation for styles of tattooing that I wouldn't normally go for etc. I sometimes feel the music I love feeds into that and vice versa! I have too much love for The Gaslight Anthem. I even have a tattoo themed on one of their songs
My mum however is not passionate about anything and is quite happy to tootle along. I think she's probably a happier and more settled person than me so being passionate about things isn't the be all and end all.

Vickyprice · 22/11/2019 10:50

I love running in forests and travelling. I still have days where I can't be bothered though

abstractzebra · 22/11/2019 10:51

I think that if someone is passionate about a cause, it is usually because it has affected them at some point.
I suppose I'm passionate about housing issues and social justice but with reason.
Hobby wise I am passionate about gardening and singing but usually no one else around me is, so I just have inner passion!

thetardis · 22/11/2019 10:54

deeply passionate. about different, often entirely unrelated, things. changing between 6-hourly and 6-yearly, rinse and repeat. i think was taken as significant trait in my asd assessment :)

Sadiesnakes · 22/11/2019 10:55

Sleeping & feminism.

antisupermum · 22/11/2019 11:08

I am an all or nothing kind of woman. I go through phases of passion. For example, I got an embroidery starter set a couple of Christmases ago. I was a woman possessed, all my free time was stitching or researching patterns etc. I think that was a passion. But it soon worse off and it all lays gathering dust.
I spent many years being passionate about the sport of boxing. I grew up with it and always followed it avidly, spent a lot of time watching fights and also reading the forums and tv shows related to it. That passion died with the new corrupt systems in place with the sport.

I can get passionate over books. I go through stages of just devouring books. And then will have months and months when I can't bear to look at one.

So, I am a passionate woman who has no current passions. They can be quite exhausting, frankly.

Angela9 · 22/11/2019 11:40

@TheNavigator

I can divide my passions into three things, the people I love, the things that got me through the worst times, the desire to make sure that other people do not go through the same issues following those experiences. They have created two purposes in me (to be the best parent I can be and the best citizen of the country and world I can). The people I've seen go through similar things to me, the ones who did not find passion or purpose are mostly dead now, or on their way there. Depressed, alcoholic, suicidal or destitute. I have been all those things at one point or another. I was not fortunate to be at rock bottom, but I was fortunate to find a way out. I would rather not have had to survive all I've been through, but it has made everything so clear to me that I now know why I am on this planet. I realised that everything else always was and always will be window dressing.

Fabledfronds · 22/11/2019 11:41

I’m not passionate about anything. I often think how lovely it must be if you have a true passion.
I have lots of things I like and enjoy doing, but no passions.

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