Most ridiculous company-wide emails received?

[ShirleyPhallus]

Had a few gold ones in the last few weeks including:

• making sure for everyone to rinse out their mugs before they go in the kitchen with accompanying photos of dirty mugs (just in case you didn’t know what one looked like)

• obligatory “has someone lost a pass we found it in the ladies toilet” email which then transpires belongs to someone who was in a cubicle at the time and hadn’t actually lost it

• the very predictable phantom pooer which is shrouded in a very polite email asking “colleagues to respect our washroom facilities and use a brush and flush approach”

Anyone got any good ones?

Our company sent a deliberate phishing attempt to see how many in the company would fall for it. Turns out that hundreds did, including several of the IT dept who had been pre warned that it was being sent out!

"we only have 5 people saying they're attending Christmas party out if 200. Pleae reply to say why you aren't attending"

Maybe because it costs £55 pp, is on a Wednesday evening and we all have to be in work the next day...?

My favourite ever one was an email sent round to warn about a malware attack being sent by email.

The header was 'DO NOT OPEN THIS EMAIL!!!!'

And went on to explain what email they were referring to. Our emails are not set to preview, so all we could see was the header.

Unfortunately, no one opened and subsequently read that email warning them of the malware attack, on account of it having DO NOT OPEN THIS EMAIL!!!! as the header.

Many people opened the actual malware email before someone managed to get in touch with the sender and clarify.

I love these. We frequently get a “this is an example of a phishing email...” then they attach the original email which still has all the live links to it

My favourite is when organising an event the sender in big bold letters at the bottom wrote "don't forget your willies" instead of wellies. The laughter could be heard right round the building as people read it

There was a spate of emails relating to someone manging to shit all over the women's bathrooms. The mess left behind each time was truly atrocious and must have been horrible for the cleaner.

I felt terrible for the culprit though as the emails were sent to everyone (men included), they specified which floor's toilets were affected (narrowing down likely people in an office of 100 people to 25) and the person clearly had horrible medical issues.

We've had some brilliant reply all fuck-ups though. We have subsidised massages available and the therapist emails everyone each week- a married senior man once did a reply all asking her out for a drink. Someone else sent around a goodbye message and a colleague did a reply all wishing them well and congratulating them for "getting out".

‘The fresh fruit has arrived’ - every bloody morning

Mock phishing emails, the most inventive one asked how we voted in the Brexit referendum, with radio buttons to vote, lol

Some idiot hitting reply all on a company-wide email with some nonsense question

We recently had one from our internet security people (from a slightly different email address to the one they usually use) advising us that there were many spam phishing emails on the loose and we weren't to open any links whatsoever. In the body of the email they had helpfully provided a link to examples of what to look for.

Facepalm.

Someone managed to send out an email to the entire nhs directory. But then thousands of people were replying and saying it was nothing to do with them but they kept hitting “reply all”. Took us weeks to delete the emails from our accounts as there are so few computers available.

'Our new app!!! Download it today!!!'

Except it wasn't available till the following week.

We used to get them about messes in the loos. The most memorable one was where instead of just an office wide email someone had sent it only to the women. I was impressed/surprised that they had the time to do this as there must have been at least 50 women in the office (probably more thinking about it). I guess they'd done the whole office email group and then deleted all the men!

We had one the other day telling us how to dispose of sanitary towels- going into too much detail, as someone clearly didn't do it in the correct way? Not sure how you can't, funny place where I work tbh.

It wasn’t company wide but in the vein of ridiculous IT emails, I had an issue where my emails would sporadically not show up specific emails. I learnt this when my VP asked a question relating to an email he had sent me and I had no record of the email. Similar happened a few times. I raised a ticket with IT explaining the issue and giving the example (my manager forwarded the offending email to me!) saying I was worried it would continue to happen and I would miss important messages.

IT response? “Please could you send a list of any email you have not received”

Errr I think I’ll struggle!!

When Charlie Hebdo was attacked, my local authority decided to have a minute's silence and announced this by an all-staff local authority email. Cue half a dozen people hitting 'reply-all' and discussing how they felt about the atrocity and writing condolences in bad French, which duly got forwarded to all-staff, including the original email trail each time. Another email soon followed saying that no-one else was to hit reply, condolences or other messages would not be forwarded to the French embassy or anywhere else, and IT were going to disable the email as the reply-all function was being abused and slowing down the servers.

Oh yeah, that NHS one a few years ago. The email accidentally went to everyone NHS wide, followed by endless reply-all’s as people explained it wasn’t for them. Add in however many out-of-office responses went out for every of those emails. It crashed the entire system.

Several about lost Tupperware 🙄

Someone (not me, I hasten to add) accidentally sent a message to everyone in the organisation, which has thousands of employees dozens of sites across the UK, asking if anyone was going to a particular town local to their office at lunchtime, if they could have a lift - of course they just meant to send it to their own site, not all sites .

The whole email system was then tied up with a few sarcastic comments about 'yes I do plan to pop into Swindon from Inverness' plus patronising emails from IT about correct use of the system, which were then forwarded onto individual teams by various managers, even though everyone had already seen all the previous messages.

A smaller scale version of the NHS one referred to by Fiona above.

Plus we have all the ones about lost forks. We have a fork snaffler at our office, sometimes you go for lunch and have to try and eat salad or leftover roast dinner with a teaspoon.

Various ones about poo and flushing the toilet properly.

My favourite work email was when I taught in an FE college. I taught counselling to adults so lots of student work would contain interesting use of language. As the college tightened up on such terrible things we were told that if emails contained swearing that they would be blocked. Instead I received an email that said..."This email cannot be delivered because it contains the words fucking and bollocks". I nearly died laughing...they should have just delivered the original email!!

I should have said not company wide but absolutely ridiculous!!!

We had one politely asking people not to keep wiping bogies on the toilet stall walls

One from a guy and his girlfriend discussing their relationship. The thing is it was only team mailboxes so if someone sent an FAO E-mail and you didn’t move it fast enough (weird setup where we all had our own folders but only teamwide e-mail) everyone could read it. Someone then maliciously sent it out.....’...I thought I was the first but to find out you’re done that with other men I felt betrayed. I’m sorry I called you a slut I really don’t think that. I was just hurt..’ I have paraphrased as it was several years ago. The girl was really upset but they shouldn’t have been sending that stuff in work!

Yup...also seen a clean up after you poo email (I don't understand why people poo so horribly at work) but I've also seen a corker which refers to not wiping nasal debris on the cubicle walls....

I haven't received any bogus bogie wiper emails but I have often wondered why the fuck you would do that whilst sitting a cm away from toilet roll .

One of the consultants I worked with once hit reply all when he meant to just wanted to email a registrar

It just so happened that they were having an affair and the whole dept across 2 sites got to know in great detail what he wanted to do after work 🤮

Sad thing is it was just 1 of many, many affairs in that place