Anyone regretted never having a 3rd baby?

[brushups]

Or did you find peace and happiness with your decision to stop at 2?

I am so lucky and blessed to have 2 beautiful DDs especially as it wasn't easy for us to conceive and there was a time I thought I'd never have children.

However, ever since I can remember I've always wanted 3 DC. I'm an only child who grew up without cousins or anything like that so it was pretty lonely.

Our problem is finances.. 2 is safe for us, we can have nice holidays, live in a small house but in a nice area etc., adding a third child to our family will stretch us. My DH is also mid40s now so it needs to happen soon if at all.

Will I forever regret never having my third and final baby or will I eventually at some point learn to feel complete with 2?

By the way, I am laughing a bit that your OP says your issues are financial and then go on to say you have are paying school fees for four children. How the other half live eh?

What does your DH think? Does he want another?

Don't believe the people who say after two it gets easier. Going from two to three is like going from two to ten.

• You need a bigger car, and a bigger house.
• Logistics are harder, getting everyone to clubs, schools, activities.
• Life gets more expensive, lots of deals are based on a family of four, not five.
• arranging childcare can problematic. A friend might have your two kids but they'll baulk at three. In fact, if you want your DC to have friends, resign yourself to always hosting. People get panicky at the idea of three visiting children.

I am one of three. I stopped at two. Mainly for all the logistical reasons as above.
If money had been no object I’d have had 4.

I had 2, DH had a vasectomy after the 2nd, I had wanted a 3rd. He realised it was a mistake very soon after his op. 5 years later the need for baby 3 got so much we paid for a reversal. DC3 arrived 9 months later. DC3 is so loving but I regularly ask myself what the hell I was thinking as he's an absolute monster. I realise how easy life was with just 2!

Sorry should have said yes DH open to another baby but probably not for another couple of years.. he'll be 47/48 by that time and I feel he will be too old. He doesn't see an issue with his age. I'll be late 30s by then.

I want 3. I’m “lucky” in that neither of my 2 have ever been good sleepers and never wanted to be put down so I’m not used to sleeping 6 hours in a row and balking at the prospect of hourly wake ups for another 2 years or anything.
Space would be our main issue though and I can’t get away from that fact. We’d need to move.
Also I think the age gap between 1 and 2 was perfect (between 2.5 and 3yrs) in that 1 was potty trained whilst I was pregnant but still young and will mostly grow up together. I’d probably try again for something like a 2.5 yr age gap. I see people with 3 under 4 and things and I don’t know how they do it because the oldest must still be pretty high maintenance.

I split with my exh when I was 7 mths pregnant on number 2. I always thought I wanted 4 kids so for a long time I’d feel a pang that it would never happen. After a few years though I was sooo glad. 2 is enough for me. As they got older the expenses got bigger, bigger clothes, shoes, more expensive school books, etc. Christmas presents got smaller but more expensive. Now my dd 21 is in college so that’s been a few years of major expense and when she’s finished ds 17 will be starting. With a third child I’d worry that I couldn’t do as much for the kids I have.

I really wanted another one but my husband didn't.

I spent years wishing it could be otherwise, then one day I realised I didn't feel that way any more. It was quite sudden. DC2 was about 8, I think.

umm. yes
Although we obviously wpuldnt be without him amd it was 100% planned.
we are older parents and big age gaps make it trickier

Well why don’t you wait until that point so that you’re both in a position to decide, if he’s open to it then and you aren’t concerned about your age? Especially as you are a SAH and your husband is already shouldering the financial support for four children. Why does it have to be now?

For me personally, I think families in this day and age should be no bigger than two children. I know someone who is the middle of three and is coming to terms with how terrible his childhood was now he is a parent. He thought he had a normal childhood but now he realises his parents were dysfunctional, his brother (the eldest) was the golden child and his sister (the youngest) was essentially an only child due to the age gap once he and his brother moved out.

Of course I have other friends who are one of three, but the two v one thing has marred their lives.

I have 2. My son is nearly 9 from a previous relationship and I've just had my daughter 7 months ago. I'm happy with 2, the only thing that niggles at my thoughts is that with such a big age gap my daughter will effectively be like an only child as such as she'll still be so young when my son enters his teenage years etc, it would be nice for her to have a sibling closer in age. But for us it's the expense. Two in childcare would be impossible. We're in a 3 bed semi so would mean sharing a room or building an extension. I really miss being pregnant and want so much to do it all again (despite the fact that my daughter is a little diva and much less chilled than my son was as a baby!) it's almost biological my need to have one more. Hope it fades as my daughter gets older. Definitely not getting rid of any of the baby stuff just yet, who knows. I'd like to think in 2 or 3 years we might be in a better financial position to have another xx

I have 3, they’re all grown up now and they get on so well. It just feels so right.

We have three and had similar dilemmas to you about whether to go for it. I worried about money and how I would cope with 3 kids all with different needs and the older two being pretty demanding and being stretched too thin and especially no sleep. But I desperately wanted another baby and felt that it would feel wrong unless we had one. Basically it all came true, both good and bad. we are stretched financially. I'm always exhausted. I constantly feel that I'm not meeting their needs. I am stretched and overwhelmed much of the time and I get no sleep. But it also feels very 'right' and I've never for a moment regretted having him. Our house is lively and fun and crazy and argumentative and way over boisterous but it feels like the family I wanted.

I wish I'd started my family earlier. I have two children and was 37 and 39 when I gave birth. If I was 10 years younger I would have tried for a third child.

Sure there's a saying that you only regret the children you didn't have. I'v just had number 3, everything that pp have said is true in terms of new car etc. But we all love her and she is very worth it.