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Original poster

AIBU to move school in Y6

35 replies

gemma19846 · 17/11/2019 22:32

Just abit of background. My DS has been at the same school school since reception. We all loved the school for the first few years then the head left and a new team came in. The school went downhill and so did pupils behaviour. My DS hasnt been bullied as such but there have been many many instances of him being punched, kicked, strangled etc. The school do not really do anything about the situation. I have been in school many times over the past 4 years about these various issues and im now thought of as a trouble parent rather than them being concerned about our sons safety and happiness. We have tried to move him to the school where our younger DD went (we chose not to send her to the same school as DS for these reasons) but the school has been full and theyve had no places. Due to a change in how the classes are set up in Y6 there is now a space if our DS wanted to move. He comes home upset from school alot and his behaviour has gone downhill at school due to him being annoyed at other children and the teachers not caring when he is hit or upset. He wants to move and does know a few children at this new school. The question is would you move him when hea a third of the way through his last year? He would have to settle in to a new school, new routine and make new friends. Is it worth it for the last 8 months? But then again would you want him to be upset for another 8 months and his behaviour could do further downhill and his grades could suffer (hes currently at the top of all subjects) it is an important year with it being an SATs year but his happiness is more important. What are your opinions please. Btw i dont think his behaviour would be a problem in a new school away from the issues hes having there as hes not a badly behaved child in general

OP posts:

BlueGingerale · 17/11/2019 22:33

Sure. I moved my DS in Y6. It was a very positive experience for him.

Original poster

gemma19846 · 17/11/2019 22:45

Bluegingerale thank you. What were the cons if there was any? Why did you move DS if you dont mind me asking?

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Starlight456 · 17/11/2019 22:50

Yes a year is a long time to be unhappy .

I would consider in there would both schools filter into the same school ? Do think about the secondary.

It still may give him a better group if children to go into high school with and a break from these kids.

If it does filter into same high school do consider talking to secondary

BlueGingerale · 17/11/2019 22:53

I’d had endless problems with the school and when I saw who he got for his Y6 teacher I realised I couldn’t do it anymore.

There were no cons. He made really good friends at his new school. Being the new boy I think helped.

His SATs results were excellent.

And the transition to Y7 was handled well. No one from his new school went to his secondary. 2 boys from his old school did. And they quickly fell out again :)

modgepodge · 17/11/2019 23:00

When i taught y6 there were numerous mid-year transfers both in and out of the cohort. Kids adjusted fine.

One thing to consider is that if your son is doing well academically, the school won’t want to lose him before SATS. Even if you decide to leave him where he is, it might be worth mentioning to his teacher you are considering moving and have a space elsewhere and the school may make more of an effort to stop him going. Sad but true 🙁

I wouldn’t let SATS determine anything from your POV though. If he’s doing well he’s likely to get the expected standard. On the whole SATS don’t matter to kids, it’s a judgement of the school. That said, GCSE targets are set based on them, so getting a ‘pass’ is a good idea else he may be set a target that’s not very high when he’s capable of more. This may or may not matter to you.

Be1atrix · 17/11/2019 23:24

I would. 8 months is a long time to be unhappy and he might thrive at the new school.

Original poster

gemma19846 · 17/11/2019 23:28

Thank you for your replies. Hes above the ecpected standard and has been all the way through primary so i do worry the change might knock him back and he will get lower than hes expected to in his SATS. Or he may get a positive boost from the new school instead of having another long and stressful year. Hes said school makes him depressed, hes cried on the way to school that he doesnt want to go in but weve had nowhere to move him to. The 2 schools are very close together but the town we live in doesnt have a high school so they dont filter into one high school as much. Theres about 4 or 5 high schools in the next town that our children choose between and end up going to one of those. Which ever high school he goes to he will probably have a few of the kids from both primary schools going there but not a huge amount.

OP posts:

Original poster

gemma19846 · 17/11/2019 23:28

Be1attix thats what im thinking too.

OP posts:

Original poster

gemma19846 · 17/11/2019 23:31

Modgepodge hes above average but the school have had 4 years to change things and they havent. I almost feel like they shouldnt be given the good grades of my sons SAT results for their school when theyve made his life a misery. Yes theyve taught him but weve done an awful lot with him at home too and i do think he would have done well which ever school he went to

OP posts:

MintyMabel · 17/11/2019 23:32

If he wants to move, let him move. 8 months is a long time for him to be miserable. Any cons can't be worse than staying where he is.

AlunWynsKnee · 17/11/2019 23:55

He presumably understands he might be the outsider for the rest of the year and thinks that's better than staying where he is. Move him.

GreenTulips · 17/11/2019 23:59

DD moved
Made loads of new friends
Had kids to play evenings and weekends
Went into he year 6 trips

Was soooo much happier

Had all her new friends and old friends at senior school

Inter school sports was interesting!

Lindy2 · 17/11/2019 23:59

I'd move him.

It will give him a chance to make some new friends before starting Secondary 6.

If he's doing well academically then he should be fine with the SATS at the new school.

ThrowThoseCurtainsWide · 18/11/2019 00:02

When you're 10/11 8 months is a really long time - 6% of his entire life! If he wants to move then move him! SATs are a measure of the school, not him. Most secondaries do their own tests at the start of y7 for streaming so his SATs results are largely irrelevant. If he is unhappy where he is and there's a chance for him to be happier in a different school then it's a no-brained for me.

BlankTimes · 18/11/2019 00:05

My DS hasnt been bullied as such but there have been many many instances of him being punched, kicked, strangled etc

That is atrocious.

School are obviously not going to safeguard him now, they don't appear to know what it means, move him for his own safety. My child would have been removed at the first strangling incident.

Definitely move him to another school.

formerbabe · 18/11/2019 07:08

I'd move him. My ds has a friend who was bullied in a previous school and moved in year 6 and was so much happier.

FamilyOfAliens · 18/11/2019 07:15

OP, if none of those instances of violence towards him was dealt with and you are now being seen as a problem parent, I would not only move him, I would write to the Chair of Governors explaining exactly why.

Send them written copies of all the concerns you’ve reported over the years and the replies you received. The school clearly hasn’t got a handle on their behaviour management.

DaisyDando · 18/11/2019 07:21

I teach year six. It’s not uncommon for a child to join within the final year; and in our school the children are generally really welcoming because it’s fun to have someone new. It usually all works out fine.

EvaHarknessRose · 18/11/2019 07:39

Yes in your circumstances and with him wanting it. Great new start opportunity for him.

KickBishopBrennanUpTheArse · 18/11/2019 07:48

I'd move him in the blink of an eye.

I wish I'd moved or homeschooled dd in y6 when a previously lovely school went downhill in a similar way.

I didn't, but the resulting issues followed her to secondary school and led to full on bullying in y7. Luckily the secondary school dealt with it much better but it almost certainly wouldn't have come to that if I'd pulled her out at the start of the year.

I wouldn't keep going to my job if I was at risk of physical harm so why should we force kids to go into an environment that is not safe.

Original poster

gemma19846 · 18/11/2019 09:09

BlankTimes believe me i tried. I rang all schools in the area and they were all full. I contacted the LEA and ive also been on to the chair of governers who batted it back to the head teacher. I cant home school him as i work or i would have done.

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Original poster

gemma19846 · 18/11/2019 09:10

Thank you so much for everyones replies and help and for not ripping me to pieces like alot of people do on these posts xx

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ChicCroissant · 18/11/2019 09:16

He wants to move, which is a key element for me here, so it seems a bit of a no-brainer. In the circumstances you describe, I'd go for it OP.

However - what will happen at secondary, will he come across the same pupils? I have to say that the secondary school around here are so massive it is possible to avoid former bullies apart from a few lessons, but you may want to speak to the school (the new secondary one) to check he isn't put into a form with them.

Original poster

gemma19846 · 18/11/2019 09:27

ChicCroissant we dont know which school he will go to or where any other of the children will go until March. Its different where we are as we have no high school in our town so there are 5 in other towns close by that they choose between. Even putting that school down doesnt mean they will get in though, its a nightmare. Hopefully he wont be with some of the trouble causers but hes alot brighter than them anyway so i doubt he will be in the same sets. Like i stated further up hes not actually being "bullied" he does get on with the children but theres alot of hitting and bad behaviour which just isnt dealt with. There isnt a problem with a particular child its been lots of different kids over the past few years and its not just to him. Its kinda the norm in the school!

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ChicCroissant · 18/11/2019 09:41

I appreciate that you won't know the exact school until later, the wait is such a pain so I feel for you there!

DD's school only has a few subject that are taught in sets in Year 7, it did increase a bit as the year went on. She's in some sets with children I am less keen on but they are easier to avoid in a larger setting. She did make some lovely new friends which has really helped.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well for you. Your son being upset must really get to you as well

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