AIBU to move school in Y6

[gemma19846]

Just abit of background. My DS has been at the same school school since reception. We all loved the school for the first few years then the head left and a new team came in. The school went downhill and so did pupils behaviour. My DS hasnt been bullied as such but there have been many many instances of him being punched, kicked, strangled etc. The school do not really do anything about the situation. I have been in school many times over the past 4 years about these various issues and im now thought of as a trouble parent rather than them being concerned about our sons safety and happiness. We have tried to move him to the school where our younger DD went (we chose not to send her to the same school as DS for these reasons) but the school has been full and theyve had no places. Due to a change in how the classes are set up in Y6 there is now a space if our DS wanted to move. He comes home upset from school alot and his behaviour has gone downhill at school due to him being annoyed at other children and the teachers not caring when he is hit or upset. He wants to move and does know a few children at this new school. The question is would you move him when hea a third of the way through his last year? He would have to settle in to a new school, new routine and make new friends. Is it worth it for the last 8 months? But then again would you want him to be upset for another 8 months and his behaviour could do further downhill and his grades could suffer (hes currently at the top of all subjects) it is an important year with it being an SATs year but his happiness is more important. What are your opinions please. Btw i dont think his behaviour would be a problem in a new school away from the issues hes having there as hes not a badly behaved child in general

I moved halfway through year five for similar reasons (bullying and a new head teacher) and it was the best thing for me. The school I moved to suited me far better and I wasn’t coming home and crying to my Mum or begging her for tutoring to stretch me academically as the teacher couldn’t cope with having a mixed ability class. Making new friends was slightly daunting but was fairly straightforward.

Thanks so much everyone xx

He does make friends really easily as is a likeable child. Hes becoming a pain because hes unhappy. I think the decision is obvious. Thanks again xx

Just to be clear - I wasn’t suggesting you leave him where he is so the school can get the ‘credit’ for his SATS- only that they’d want the credit and it might give them a kick up the * to deal with the issues!! But if it’s been going on years that seems unlikely.

If he wants to move, I’d move him. SATS really don’t matter much to the child, and honestly if he’s always been working ahead he’s highly unlikely to miss the expected standard at this point. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thank you Modgepodge you are right 😊

If he wants to move and the opportunity has arisen I would take it. Two terms is not long in the great scheme of things, but when you are 10/11 and unhappy then it is a very long time indeed As for effects on SATS, well if anything it is likely to be positive if he feels happier and more motivated, but they aren't that important to the individual child anyway. I would go for it. I hope he feels much happier soon.

Elbowedout thank you

DD1 (12) was removed from school completely (home schooled) for her last 3-4 months of Y6 due to ongoing bullying not being dealt with. She started Y7 in September and the change in her and her school experience is amazing. We are moving house, should be next month, to a new catchment area. DD2 (10) hasn't been happy at her school for a long time so we are removing her when we move, she's also in Y6, and when we send her back, she will be going to a new school for her last 6 months of primary. I have no concerns about doing it because I think she is going to be so much happier getting a fresh start and hopefully get her into a better mindset ready for starting Y7 in September next year. I'm not too worried about her SATs, I don't think the move will have much impact on them. DD1 didn't do as well in her SATs as we were all expecting but the fact the bullying was escalating up to SATs, I'm not terribly surprised. With their high school, the SATS are only used to place them in their starting classes, then the teachers assess them each half term and if they feel they're achieving higher than the group, they move them up, if they're struggling, move them down.
A year doesn't sound like much as an adult, but to a child, a year feels like a lifetime.

Yes, I'd move him as soon as possible.

what @Elbowedout said.

my DC was utterly miserable, self-harming, school refusing, all sorts. Similar situation to you by the sound of it. It only got worse, like you we tried to remain at the school but they repeatedly swerved the issue which damaged DC more in the process. We were counting down to leaving in months but had to yank DC out of there after yet another incident they botched. I could kick myself for not moving school sooner, 8 months is a huge percentage of their life at that age and if you don't help your DS nobody else is going to do it for them. Change of school was the best decision we could have made, a huge relief for the whole family and DC thriving. I'd advise anyone in your situation to move immediately no matter what age or stage, or time of year, especially if DC are pleading.