Ex moved out 19 months ago and we have been divorced for almost a year.
It was a horrible divorce - I divorced him due to emotional abuse mainly - and he does not speak to me at all. Any logistical message which I have to send him is never responded to - ever. Though he does read them and sometimes do what is suggested.
One of the worst things about our marriage was the fact that he would regularly subject me to very long silent treatments - we are talking weeks and weeks. It’s hardly surprising that having had the temerity to divorce him I am now dead to him 🙄.
The settlement meant that I got the family home and he got smaller assets, which put together roughly equalled the value of the house. He could have sold these and got somewhere suitable for him and the kids when they were with him, but instead he has been building a new property for him to live in for the past I don’t know how long, and living in another of his assets which is not suitable for the dc (teenagers).
So he has been coming to mine when the dc are home from school and cooking for them - while I am still at work. We never cross paths. The last time we came face to face was in February.
This has been ok but I have recently told him (by unanswered email) that it has to stop when he finishes his house - because I can see a situation where he either never finishes the house, or the dc don’t want to budge and he is still coming to mine months down the line.
The issue now is that after months of saving and planning and buying units and organising it all, and emptying the old one, I am having a new kitchen installed, to replace our very old and manky one.
Aibu not to want ex, who ignores me completely, to be using it when it is finished? Not always but he sometimes leaves a mess, I know he bangs pots and pans around but now we have a fragile induction hob, and he used to sometimes cut straight on to our wooden worktop (
) when we were together, but he better bloody not do that to the new ones being installed!
As is normal, all the effort has been made by me (am painting it as well), but he might even get to use it before I do - it will be ready to use on Tuesday afternoon.
Aibu to just want ex to go away and to claim what is now my space? Am I being petty?
Forgot to add that he very obviously got together with someone while we were forced to live in the same house for months during the divorce. It was extremely painful for me. I don’t know if they are still together, but he obviously moved on at the speed of light. Why, two years after this, is he going to be in my hard worked for kitchen which he essentially won’t give a shit about?