Gift for Mum with Alzheimer's

[aredon]

My beautiful Mum has advanced Alzheimer's disease. She's in a nursing home. Her birthday is in December obviously as well as Christmas.
Over the years I've bought her soft things (clothes, blankets, soft toys), lots of photographs, made her a memory book, oils and creams for hand massages/good sleep etc.
Im struggling with what to get her this year- any ideas? I'm in my twenties and my sisters a bit older, we could all chip in for something more expensive if it was.. so not too much of a budget.
Thank you

Something to play music on, headphones and a Playlist for Life?

(Some ideas for the charity started by Sally Magnusson:www.playlistforlife.org.uk/music-and-dementia)

"from", not "for".

Ah, yes, I have already got a CD player for her but I like the idea of headphones- May try her with mine first and then if she responds well I will buy her her own. Good idea thank you

My MIL has Alzheimer’s. Last Christmas SIL bought her a singing dog and it was an enormous success. She absolutely loved it - her loss of memory means that every time it started she reacted as if it was the first. (It was a dog crooning Only You bought from a garden centre to think but you can get them in lots of places)

Even towards the end for Dad, he loved listening to music, so if your mum has been a music lover I would second the music suggestion. We used to play music like the shadows, Don Williams, Katherine Jenkins etc. To be honest, as time went on our gifts became less and less. Biscuits, squash, warm socks etc.
Time is the best thing you can give her. I truly believe Dad knew when we were there, holding his hand or sitting quietly whilst he napped. Make the most of the good days xx

My mum has dementia, I think the present she loved most was an old-style record player! Otherwise my mum now takes a cuddly toy to bed (and can't sleep without one) and also likes very fluffy dressing gowns.

Something like a twiddle muff?

Yes, music or audiobooks are good. Particularly music or books that they used to love when they were young.

My grandfather was often very agitated but listening to a favourite book or composer would really help him feel calm.

My MIL has a soft toy cat who sits on her lap and purrs when she strokes her etc. She really believes the cat is real and tells us about how she (the cat) comes running for her tea, sometimes brings in a rabbit and so on. She hates to be without her. I think it is made specifically for dementia sufferers.

Is there anything that she liked when she was in her 20s or even as a child?

If she spends lots of time in bed a bed jacket (as opposed to a dressing gown) could be useful

My aunt has a doll with a dress and cardi. She believes it's a real baby and seems to enjoy dressing and undressing it and rocking it.

A fiddle blanket? So it's a blanket with different textures, ribbons, zips, etc. It can keep your mum's hands busy.

@Twospaniels that is incredibly heart warming to hear. Dementia is such a cruel disease

I used to buy mum costume jewellery...it all went missing..but she loved it
Beautiful tops I got from Tenerife..weren’t expensive..tj hughes have something similar
Soft fluffy jamas and dressing gown
Mum couldn’t operate a music player
Chocs went down well
It’s her birthday today...😢
She’s been gone 3 years

My Dad loved his electronic photo frame which I loaded up with family snaps.

Yes, twiddle muff/blanket. Can you knit?

Oh God, i do hope your mum likes these ideas. Mine could not cope with any of them, and to be honest, for her last birthday, i just treated her carers, who thoroughly deserved it.

Dementia is the pits.
Is she aware? See, my mum was totally and utterly unaware of anything related to anything.
Photos, stories, music - nope, nothing, ziltch.

If yours is still capable, music would be fab!

I fucking hate dementia.

My mum, her 5 sisters, her mum. Hereditary?

When it happens to me, just be there. Dont give everything, just what you can spare.
I dont care about music, or film, or the past.
Just be there.

As mentioned upthread, your Mum might enjoy a tactile fiddle muff, like this from AlzProducts?

or

this, from Etsy,
which converts between a muff and a lap mat, so she could also use it whilst lying flat in bed. May be more useful?

Wishing both of you all the very best.

• And everyone else living with, or whose loved ones are living with, Alzheimer's.

Very true what @Toooldtobearsed2 says.

It may sound odd, but baby dolls were a favourite in the home my nan spent her last year. Recently, a non-profit company locally to me have started to re-fit those old-fashioned rotary phones to play music, different (old fashioned) song for each dial. Nursing homes are going mad for them!

Here's link - hope you can put it into google translate nos.nl/l/2299833

My Mum has dementia too, but me and my sister are in our 30's, I can't imagine how hard it is for you in your 20's. 😭❤️

Such great suggestions here! Have you heard about weighted blankets to help with sleep? Think they are comforting generally.

It's so hard to find the perfect gift.
My mum also had a doll which she loved.
We used to get her bedding for her room in the care home. Also a large canvas of her grandchildren.

It is so hard to find something (and heartbreaking, mum was so very easy to buy for before dementia)- my mum threw a doll at me when I tried that! But she loves her purring/breathing cat toy thing.
Photos, music, audiobooks would all be useless to mum, though 5 years ago she did get a huge amount of pleasure from some toddler books where you pressed buttons for music (I think there was a christmas one that you got a bit of carols and a Nutracker one). She can't do those now or isn't interested.

I think it will be pyjamas this year. As long as I get the sort she likes it should be OK, though she'll try and wear them out if she likes them and then dad gets to deal with the toddler tantrum

Oh no- I'm so sorry, I haven't checked for replies- thank you all SO much, I really appreciate all your replies and suggestions.
As @Toooldtobearsed2 mentions, my mum is completely unaware of what's going on- she's very advanced in the progression but still does like to look at me/her carer and will sometimes smile. This is why I'm finding it so very difficult to think of something.
I think what I want is to take it all away for her, obviously! So nothing seems right gift wise. She doesn't respond to 'things' anymore, really- she used to be a medical professional with kids so we bought her a doll which she did love, on and off, for a little while but no more really :(
Thank you- I'll have another think