What is 'too young'?

[username89097]

Is there a 'too young' to have kids?
And is there a 'too young' to settle in a relationship/get married?

I think 6 is too young to have kids and get married.

I'm 23 and just had my first baby. Some have said I'm too young but have my own house and engaged.

I think it's best to have your education done before you have kids. If you only want gcses then have a baby at 16 but it's bloody hard to study for a degree with kids and the cost is horrendous!

I don't know if there is a right age & everybody is individual. I personally wanted a home, career, travel opportunities & education first so was 30.

I was 15 when I had Dd1.
That was too young I missed out on alot of my childhood.
But I wouldn't change it, she was the best thing to happen to me. That was 27yrs ago.

I had my first at 21
At the time I felt very grown up and mature and the time was right.

Now 15 years later I think I was way too young and wish I had waited at least 5 more years (all though obviously I do love my child very much)

Physically the best age to have kids is in your teens.

I had mine late twenties and thirty, so old to some people and young to others.

Older parents have less energy but more patience.

I fucked around for much of my twenties and look slightly enviously at my friends who had babies young and are now blooming into their own lives.

Physically the best age to have kids is in your teens.
100% agree
After Dd1 physically I felt great.
23years later when I gave birth to Dd2 my body still hasn't recovered 😂😂😂

I don't think there's an 'age' as such imo, but I'd say it was when you're financially stable, in a stable relationship, and with as much certainty as is ever possible that your future is fit for supporting a child.
For me, that would mean having bought a home, and becoming chartered with my professional institution since that'd be a pain to pick up and put down through having children. That would put me at a high enough wage to be financially secure enough to consider a child. I'd probably be 33 before I reach that point (30 now). I don't want kids though so that's all hypothetical.

I had my first at 36 and second at 39.

I met my DH when I was 18 and we spent years having fun, traveling and building careers.

Then we both had career changes and re-evaluated our lives. Within two years of quitting banking I was pregnant with DS1 and by the time I had DS2 I had submitted my PhD.

There is no right age or right way to do it.

Every family is different.

I was 23 when I had DD and the only time I've heard that I was too young is on here.

Physically the best age to have kids is in your teens.
It depends when in your teens though. the body of a 17 year old is going to cope a lot better with the stresses of pregnancy than the body of a 15 year old.

Physically the best age to have kids is in your teens

That's not true at all. Early 20's is when pregnancy risks are lowest.

Yeah I did wonder where the 'teens' claim comes from...

Left school at 17, got a job, met my partner at 18 (he's 10 years older) had 1st baby at 20 married at 21, went back to school at 24 and got my degree. We now have 4 kids and we have our own home. I'm now 31 and starting my own business.

I think you do what suits you. It's your life you're here to live it!

I thought that globally giving birth before your 18 is the biggest cause of death in that age group for women.According to WHO.
I think it depends on what you want education and a career would be many peoples ideal.For me being in a financial position to take maternity leave and having a support network around you.

You need to live life first and figure yourself out and be happy with a life that has less freedom and less time for selfishness. Ideally, you should have finished the bulk of what education you need for the job/career you intend to have the rest of your life and be able to afford (yourself or collectively, assuming you have a partner) £900 a month in childcare.

I don’t think there is a set age when that happens. But you do need to be realistic. If you are working a minimum wage job, you likely won’t easily afford the childcare necessary to work. If you have a partner likely to flake off, you’ll miss out on a lot of opportunities both personally and professionally, as everything will fall on you.

I was 31 when I hit this point where my career was solid, I’d met someone I could imagine a life, and we could give up on nights out for a quieter life (I’d partied my socks off in my 20s). We could also afford nursery at an extra £900 a month.

I was pregnant at 21 and had my 1st a few days after my 22nd birthday. Ive just turned 28 and due my 2nd in a few weeks. I wasnt taken seriously with my 1st and alot of people seemed surprised how confident i was with him.

For me the right age was when I was financially secure and able to support a child, as a couple and if the worst came to the worst and DH and I split up, alone. It took until I was 29 to be in that position, any earlier than that would have been too young and frankly, irresponsible. But that’s for me. Others are different I guess.

I was thinking the other day about people saying you miss out on so much by having kids young eg travelling, partying etc.

Personally for me and many of the mums I know who has kids you - they weren’t going to be doing those things anyway for a multitude of reasons. Travelling was never something I was even aware I could do as an older teen and my self esteem was so low that even uni wasn’t an option for me. Motherhood shouldn’t have been the path I went down but at the time there didn’t seem to be anything else I could be doing.

I know on the child of our time programme a mum was 16 when she her first and still a teanager with her second, but she went to college and became a nurse. However teanage mums do often suffer with lack of education. It,s not easy studying with a family. My husband did it and it really took a chuck out of our savings. And he missed an exam because of lack of childcare.

First kids:

I was 24, married for years, owned my own place, had a good job and was too young.

My friend was 18, nearly homeless, single, and was so ready and coped brilliantly.

It's very dependent on the person. HOWEVER. Most teens will think they are grown up enough for instance and are not.

A few posters on here claiming teenage years are the best years physically to have a baby. This just isn't true - teenagers are more likely to develop complications such as pre-eclampsia (especially younger teens). The best time physically to have a baby is early twenties.

As for the overall 'too young' thing - I honestly don't know. MIL-to-be became a mum at 20 and she's a great mum.

I had my first baby at 28 and that felt right for us.

Its all different for everyone really. I was 21 when I had my daughter, not a single person I know expressed the opinion that I was 'too young' - but I was also married and we went on to buy our lovely house five months after she was born.

I'm 23 now and due my second daughter in only nine weeks. I've never felt too young. I've loved every second of being a mum, always has felt very natural.

I would say mid twenties for both. Had my first DC and was married at 19. Now looking back at 37, I was way to young to get married and would hate any of the dcs getting married that young. Although i coped well having ds at 19, imo I was a better mum when I had my 2nd at 24