He has just wee-d in my garden rather than using the toilet.

[LissJas]

Just that. I have two clean, accessible bathrooms and when got home he announced that he was going to 'pump the bilge' in the garden! I was flabbergasted when he went out and did so.

I

Who is 'he'?

Eh ? Who is “he” Op

My mother used to try and encourage men to go on the compost heap. She was slightly mad, mind you. Urea can be good for the garden, though. As long as the garden isn't wide open to the street or neighbours, it wouldn't bother me too much, but I would be wondering why someone wants to go out in the cold when they could be in a nice, warm, dry bathroom, unless they're combining it with a smoke or something.

Sorry for lack of updates! He's my friends' husband. We went to the pub, came back to mine, and he immediately went into the garden and used that revolting phrase in my OP.

I was just absolutely staggered. He was literally right next to the bathroom. When I jokingly said why hadn't he used the bathroom he said that he liked the freedom of an open wee. Wtf?!?

Nope, he wasn't combining it with anything as far as I know. Just out there weeing...

that is revolting

This is surprisingly common. It is meant to be good for the garden and I think some men just enjoy the animal behaviour of a good external piss.

It wouldn’t surprise me if someone did it in their own garden but it was a bit rude in someone else’s garden.

Keep the foxes at bay though

Yuck. I wouldn’t be inviting him back to my house again! I’d be horrified if DS did that and he’s seven...

Get him to do it on the compost heap next time

I agree that it's very common though it's slightly unusual to do it in someone else's garden. My ex FUL and ex husband a!says enjoyed an evening open air see together. I'd raise an eyebrow but laugh it off. If it really offended you, just tell him.

Are you sure he meant have a wee?

Good for deterring badgers and foxes. I'd do it myself if I could (not in someone elses garden though)

Ok, I could understand almost if it was your husband, but who pees in someone else’s garden?

I wouldn't invite them again.

Beyond gross. And utterly disrespectful.

Common occurrence in our garden as it’s good for the lemon tree.

Did he cock his leg and scruff up the grass afterwards?

It's the disrespect that would get me. Revolting behaviour, what he chooses to do in his own garden is up to him although his neighbours might object.

Perhaps he's a Gardeners' Question Time aficionado? Bob Flowerdew frequently mention the benefits of 'recycled beer or cider', and the advantage blokes have because they have a spigot.

Was he pissed?

Tell your friend her husband is no longer welcome at your house.

(It's one thing to piss on your own compost heap for horticultural reasons, quite another to go and randomly piss in someone else's garden. Comes across as some sort of neanderthal attempt at a dominance display, like a dog peeing against a wall. And about as welcome as a dog humping your leg.)

It wouldn't bother me at all. It's a garden. Cats, foxes, mice and rats all do their business outside.

That would be the end of intentional socializing for me. Fine if he is at events with larger groups, you don’t have to cut him off, but I wouldn’t seek his company.

It's not a hygiene issue, it's a disrespect issue.

Humans are social animals with complicated cultures and taboos, and pretty much all human societies have taboos round where it is/ is not acceptable to piss and shit. In this respect we differ rather a lot from cats, foxes, etc.

So when a man (and it is pretty much always men who engage in this sort of behaviour) chooses to break these taboos, he's not doing it for a random reason because he needs a piss. It's a form of dominance behaviour. He's saying "I don't give a fuck about you and I don't give a fuck about your home, and I want you to know that."

That's why I'd be telling my friend her husband was not welcome again.