10 month old still not STTN and I feel like a failure

[Retpark101]

DD is 10 months old and has never slept through, the most she’s done is 4 hours in a row.

Currently she is rocked to sleep for naps and bedtime, I have tried everything else including CC which after a week didn’t get any better at all.

I’m still breastfeeding so have resigned to letting her feed during the night as she generally just needs this to go back to sleep. Until these last 2 weeks.

She keeps waking up crying, she won’t be rocked to sleep at bedtime, infact right now she is laid next to me in bed screaming crying. I’ve cuddled her and fed her etc she has been doing this for 2 hours now.

Can there really be babies who are THIS BAD at sleeping? I feel like such a failure of a mum, all my friends babies STTN, they go to sleep in their pushchair/car seat etc.

I feel like somewhere I really went wrong, I darent even ask my mum to babysit in the evening as I know DD will just scream until she is rocked (which poor mum can’t do anymore as DD is understandably too heavy)

I guess I’m just wondering if there’s anyone else out there wotha TERRIBLE sleeper, or who has a terrible sleeper and they suddenly grew out of it?

DD was exactly the same, I felt like such a failure and the only one with a broken baby. Any 4-5 hour stretch was a total dream! She did STTN though at 15 months when I stopped bfing (not suggesting you should do this, it’s just the way it worked out for us) and has been a good sleeper since, it will happen. You haven’t done anything wrong x

My two year old still doesn't, sadly it's just become our baseline state to be exhausted 24/7

My daughter is exactly the same, breast fed, ten months, usually wakes every two hours crying, the most she does is four hours in one go which is one a night, in a blue moon.

She settles very quickly with boob about ten mins and she's fast asleep.

Sometimes I too feel like I've done something wrong but then realise it doesn't last forever.

Lots of chocolate is my solution x

My 16 month doesn't sleep through the night.. not all babies do and it's actually more common than they don't. DD was up 6 times last night.

Why do you feel a failure for normal child sleeping patterns? Honestly, please don't beat yourself up about it.

My son is 4 and started school this September. He only started sleeping through regularly in August. Before that I could count on one hand how many times he had slept through.

Honestly, it's much easier to handle once you decide it's all a phase, they will grow out of it, and in the meantime just decide to do whatever you need to in order to get through the night.

@Retpark101 oh you poor thing, I totally feel your pain.
Could it be teething? Mine was a god awful sleeper between 9-13 months of age in particular. He had pretty much all his teeth come through in that time and despite being fairly sure this was often the cause, nothing seemed to work. It felt like my marriage was falling apart and my DH had decided he didn't think he could face having another child.

He's now 22 months, and has slept through since around 15months old, occasionally wakes but he's settled in 5minutes. It will pass at some point, may be soon... May not be. In the meantime do what you need to, to cope.

What helped for us was weaning off feeding to sleep, only took around a week until he was used to bedtime routine in a different order, and daddy stayed until he was asleep. We then night-weaned at about 14months when we knew he wasn't teething, and wasn't ill. Took a couple of nights of DH going in rather than me, and then that was it. Personally I've not found it has taken more than a week to change any particular habits so don't worry too much about 'making a rod for your own back'.
Also encouraging an attachment to a toy helped him settle himself at night better!

Yes there are,
My sister had a baby who was high maintenance, always in arms, always fussing. She was wrecked from her and like you tried everything. It passed once she could move around by herself, you’re probably near the end, hang on in there x

Ps she’s fabulous now (22)

I found these useful x

childrenssleepconsultant.com/2015/09/03/developmental-leaps-and-how-they-affect-sleep/

I stopped cosleeping with DD at 12 months. We baby proofed her room and made her a floor bed so I could still feed her to sleep and then just roll off and leave her. It made a massive difference as I think sleeping with me was disturbing her and then she was waking me to feed back to sleep.

It's so hard but it won't last forever. You're doing an amazing job ♥️

I've got a terrible sleeper too. He woke every hour last night, sometimes twice an hour. I didn't know it was possible to feel this tired. And during the day they are non stop so we don't even get a rest then!

He's doing this weird thing where when he's asleep he is pushing himself to stand up, then getting a shock as he realises he is stood up then crying hysterically. What on earth can I do?!

No advice at all but I'm here if you want to make a support thread! I can guarantee I'll be online through the night!

Let's try to stay positive and hope one day they magically improve

honestly stop putting so much pressure on yourself and your baby. my son is 2yrs 5 months and still wakes 2 times a night at least

Don't feel like a failure. It really is nothing you have done.

I have 3 dc. They were all treated roughly the same.

Dd1 slept at least 6 hours every night from birth. She slept 12 hours a night from 6 weeks. If we went out late, she just slept late. I would give her a 20 minute feed, pop her down in the cot and she played to sleep. We could do anything we wanted and she would just sleep through it. By 10 months she slept 3 hours in the afternoon too. I was a brilliant mum

Then I had dd2. I did everything exactly the same. At 10 months she was still waking 3+ times through the night. She took ages to settle at night. If she woke she went 0-60 in about 2 seconds flat. At 18 months the doctor took mercy on me and gave her mediced which is a wonderful magic which causes them to sleep 12 hours. Unfortunately it is no longer licenced for children. I only gave her it for 2 nights and then she slept fine after that; not dd1's 12 hours, but probably 8 without waking.

Then ds came along. He was totally different from the other two from the start. He wanted to go to sleep early and wake up early. He's in his teens and still like that. So I'd spend 5-7pm desperately trying to make sure he didn't go to sleep too early. He'd then sleep through from 7 weeks as long as he didn't have an ear infection, which he did approximately 10 days in every 14. Once he had grommets put in at 20 months he slept through every night but still woke at 7am whatever.

The point is, you are not a failure. I did the same with all three of mine, and they slept very differently. I wasn't an amazing parent with dd1 which was why she slept (and ate) brilliantly any more than I was terrible with dd2 who slept (and ate) dreadfully.

Human beings aren't meant to STTN OP, we require it in modern Western culture but in fact it's a habit that has to be learned. It's not naturally how our brains are wired. That's why you see such a wide range of "normal" with this.

My DS didn't sleep more than 45 mins at a stretch for 13 months. I thought I was going to die. I eventually had to do full on, horrible extinction sleep training with night weaning, that broke my heart but I just couldn't go on. I had to go back to work and it was dangerous for me to drive...

From then on, he'd sleep 7pm to 4am without a peep, in great comfort. I'd bf him at 4am and he'd sleep again until 7 or 8am. By age 2 he dropped the 4am wakeup.

I rocked/bounced him to sleep for naps until he was 3 (back problems galore - would i do it again - yes. they are small once.).

Now school age and is secure, confident to the point of blase, and sleeps 7pm to 6am without fail.

They're all different OP and you are the opposite of a failure x

I have now got two children.
My first never ever slept. She woke so many times a night, fussed for hours, napped for short periods in the day, is now 3 and still doesn't sleep all night without waking at least once.
My second is an absolute dream! Sleeps for 6 hours at night, has a quick feed and goes back to sleep for another 4 hours, has a three hour nap in the afternoon. Never yet had a really bad night with him. Wonderful.
I have done absolutely nothing differently, and it is such a cliche, but all babies are different!

Get a sleep consultant, beat money you'll ever spend. My DS was sleeping with us for a year and a sleep consultant had him sleeping through the night in his own bed in 2 nights!