Introverts with children - how do you cope?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

If you’re an introvert how do you manage the lack of quiet time that comes with having children?

I find it rather hard at times and would love some better coping strategies!

How old are your children?

Also do you have any help with them? A partner? Childcare?

2 and 5. I work FT. Have a partner but work patterns dictate I do the school runs and bedtimes nearly every day.

Following as I could of wrote your last post myself!

So would your partner ever take the children out?
For a guaranteed minimum time eg 3 hours?

Lots of folk like running. It's solitary and takes maybe half an hour. I used to get up early and do it before getting the kids up.

I used to go for a quite long bath with a book.

Also, I tried to interest the DC in doing things that meant I could zone out. So I was with them but didn't have to interact.

Eg cuddling up and watching a film. The older two were quite well behaved in the cinema.
Once I had dc3 and realized that they weren't all quiet in the cinema, that was a bit trickier.

Watching films at home, dc3 was happy with a pound land sticker book.

Or kneading shortcrust dough.

Work full time and do school run and bedtimes? my god. Hats off to you but also even a total extrovert would find that impossible!

I don't.
Following because mine are 3 and 6 and it's a relentless mess of scary noise and I want to hide in my duvet most of the time!

Strict and consistent bedtimes were essential for me. They were all in bed by 7, which gave me an hour or two till DH got home. I really needed that. I still do actually but they are teens now and fortunately huge piles of homework keeps them in their rooms instead.

Bed with an audio book when mine was smaller. Mind you mine is 15 now and just gave me a 30 lecture summary of the book she has to do for school about King Arthur in a huge amount of detail. I had to escape to the garden for more than one fag.

My DH is brilliant at taking DD(5) out when I need him to. I work FT but I’m a teacher so am obviously at home during the holidays. I find I desperately need time to sit in silence without worrying about what she’s doing.

My anxiety and introverted ways mean I never take DD to parties either. I feel bad about that but DH is far better at socialising than me. I hide behind him if I have to be out.

Well, I only had one which is perfect. Bit late for that advice though.

I sit with my kids as they go to sleep (like now) and in the silence I listen to them breath and just lie still and occasionally read MN or just enjoy the darkness. This and my commute is the only quiet time I get!

Gin

But what actually helped was working part time but DD being at nursery for an extra day - gave me a decent amount of headspace to recharge each week.

How do you get to work? Can you count that as quiet time?

I cope by having strict bedtime rules and a strict bedtime. I get plenty of quiet time when they are asleep but I did prioritise bedtime at a decent time and no pissing about. My hard work did pay off and it saved my sanity.

I am with you. When they’re younger it’s after bedtime. As they get older it’s better, and worse. I often struggle with a very verbose monologue from my ASD daughter-in-law the evening when she’s done with her own chill time! I head to bed no later than 10 but play games/read for a while to lose myself in silence!

I remember this very well..
Strict bedtime at 7 was very important. Other than that I was alone in the car for 25 mins each way to work and occasionally would get to do the weekly shop by myself. I have been known to sit in the supermarket car park reading my book for 20 mins before shopping. It's not easy. Running in the evening is good if yours / DH's schedule allows.
Everything improves massively when the younger one gets to about 5.

Oh god. I'm a widowed full time working mum to DDs age 5 and 9. And I'm extremely introverted. It's torture. I lock the bathroom door at weekends and bribe them not to talk to me. I beg them not to say 'mummy' for 5 whole minutes. I hide in my room pretending to laundry.

When DH was alive he'd take DD to supermarket every Saturday morning, even if I had a load of cleaning to do the alone time saved my sainty.

Strict bedtime definitely. Going back to work saved my sanity as my commute in gave me a few hours a day to read or listen to podcasts or just be quiet (and alone!)

From age 2 I found it considerably easier too as I could potter in the kitchen making lunch peacefully while they'd sit and watch cbeebies or play. Even just 15 minutes here or there in the day like that helped me mentally.

I've now got a 6 week old too and the relentlessness of it is by far the hardest thing for me, just having absolutely no time to myself 24/7. I'm counting down every day until overnight sleep improves enough that we get some semblance of an evening again, and when she's on solids and so isn't stuck to a boob all hours of the day. I spend the night feeds daydreaming of when I'm back at work and will always get some time to myself every week!

Strict bedtimes. Mine are very small still so that doesn't always go to plan but more often than not it does. Good habit for them too!

Getting DH to take them out sometimes for an afternoon so I can be alone in my home in the silence.

Going to bed early with a book leaving DH free to watch as much rubbish on the tv as he likes (win for us both!)

It's hard. I'm a sahm and I'm almost never alone. I crave it, as much as I love my children.

Mine are 6 and 13 - I struggle now more than I ever did tbh.

I work pt and have done since youngest was 18 months.

My mind is constantly buzzing and I hate having to hear/think about everything and everyone else ALL of the time. I tend to have periods where I feel like shit and want to hibernate but of course I can't - I cope by painting on a smile and hold it together until they are out of sight then I either cry quietly, lock myself in a room or hide under my duvet with my Kindle.

I'm not really cut out for this parenting thing...

Can someone explain to me what it's like to be an introvert .. my dd seems to be very introvert and I have often wondered if she is on the spectrum .. do you think a lot of 'traits' overlap ? .. as an extrovert I don't get why she is so quiet and would love to help her become more confident / comfortable around people and crowds etc .

We’ve got 2 sitting/living room type rooms with a tv in each so I divide and conquer with one child in each room. They get their choice of programmes so are quiet. I hide in the kitchen. My children are a bit older though - 7 and 4.

I’m single mum to a 4yo, I work full time. He talks non stop - I find bank holiday weekends tough! Definitely strict bedtime has saved my sanity. Knowing that I will have quiet by 7.30pm gets me through a long day. I feel guilty about it, but I sometimes put the tv on for him so that I can sit in quiet with cup of tea for 20 mins. My work requires me to interact with people all day and so is very draining too.