Kids grandparents just got a new puppy...

[88Pandora88]

I have a 5 year old and I'm 7 months preg, my kids grandparents have just gone and got a staffordshire bull terrier puppy. My OH isn't impressed and has expressed his views of the breed to his mum.
They looked after my eldest when she was a baby and we were hoping they'd do the same with my baby this time, but don't know how we feel.
The breed has a bad reputation, they said they'll get it trained but with all other dogs they've had, theyve never trained them 🤷🏻‍♀️
Anyone have a staffy and young kids?
I know every dogs different etc, I obviously just put my kids safety first.

There's no such thing as a bad breed, only bad training or owners but in this case your prejudice puzzles me as Staffies are some of the best family dogs I've encountered, extremely loyal and gentle. All puppies need socialisation, training and boundaries. Make sure the gparents research positive reinforcement and don't bang on about "dominance" or "pack" as such theories are based on very bad science and are grossly outdated.

Get them to watch kikopup on YouTube and get them a copy of John Bradshaw's In Defence of Dogs and Pippa Mattinson's Total Recall.

And as a note, absolutely every dog should be supervised around young children, for their sake as well as that of the children. Even the best trained dogs have their moments when provoked.

Op are you slightly miffed dc will look forward to seeing mil from now on??

I have a staffy, and we always had them growing up. He's 11 now and starting to go grey he's fantastic with the kids, although as with any breed I wouldn't leave any dog unsupervised with small children, it's just common sense.

My sisters cute Jack Russell however is Satan itself not envy!

Your in laws have got a puppy to replace their old dog. Unforgivable! 🙄

If you and DH don't like it you are free to pay for alternative child care 🤷‍♀️

Meh! OP wants free childcare 'the same as last time', then sharp changes the tune to 'its been offered' (total bullshit regarding first post). Clearly very unhappy over ILS choice of dog, clearly to the point of DH 'expressing his concern (unhappy about the new dog impending on free childcare). Suck it up and pay for childcare OP vs bitching that your free childcare isn't fulfilling your criteria. Quite sure your £££ childcare could offer all your dog free requirements.

Whether they have offered or not isnt the point.

OP said they 'hoped' they would have the baby. If they had, had a proper converstation about childcare it wouldnt be 'hope'. It would be that they *were( meant to be providing childcare.

But even if they said that, its their life and their home. They can do what they want. If OP ianr happy leaving her baby around the dog, then they can pay for childcare.

I suspect op and her dh arent actually that unhappy to consider paying for childcare.

@Anotherlongdrive I get that you're reading between the lines, but as OP stated that the ILs looked after their 5yr old and she's now 7mth pregnant again.. I think 'hoping' vs expecting her ILs to look after the new baby is less 'hope' vs 'expected'. Otherwise her DP wouldn't be 'expressing his unhappiness'. As if it was a 'hope' they'd provide free childcare for the new baby, it wouldn't matter if they'd got a new puppy or chosen to adopt a lion.

I disagree.

Just because grandparents looked after 1 child, doesnt mean they would look after another. Things change, people get older. They may not wanted to have committed to it again.

Her dh could be ecoreasimf his unhappiness because he assumed they would, now is concerned its not safe, so it's off the table.

If there is an actually arrangement in place you dont 'hope' someone will do what you have arranged.

I would bank on OP not wanting to pay for childcare vs having it for free. Especially if her husband has felt the need to tell his parents (who he presumably doesn't live with) that he's unhappy with their choice of new dog. Or else why would he even give a fuck?

I would be feeling the same as you. Any untrained dog is a danger to little ones but Staffies have got a reputation haven’t they and they are so strong!

There will be people telling you that staffies are fabulous dogs, they absolutely can be under the correct supervision but it’s not a breed I’d ever be comfortable around unless I knew the dog was very well trained and supervised at all times around children.

I have a Jack Russell who also have a reputation for being annoying, aggressive etc. But it is the way you bring them up. Mine is such a lap dog and would never hurt a fly!

If you aren’t comfortable just don’t let your little ones go their without you.

My mum has a little shit of a dog. It’s a small terrier but my god she is awful. She’s aggressive, she bites, she gets jealous when my mum gives the kids attention so much so we don’t really go there anymore. which is a pain but the safety of my kids comes first.

My parents have chihuahuas that have snapped at my children!
But I really don't like the prospect of those types of enormously powerful dogs being around children.

The chihuahuas or the staffies?

Staffies have a bad reputation because of the owners!
Tips for would be staffie owners

1. take them to training classes otherwise they will be taking you for a walk! They are naturally powerful but easily trained. My girl could do the basics of sit, give paw, down and stand at age 12 weeks. Puppy classes are relatively cheap.
2. staffies love to play! But like all dogs you should understand they like their quiet times too and children and adults should learn to respect this fact.
3. when introducing a baby to any dog take clothes of baby and let dog smell them before you introduce baby.
4. staffies do not like confrontation. They will run away and they hate loud arguments. They will never start a fight but they will finish it as all dogs will when cornered.
5. you must not leave any child in a room alone with ANY dog!
6. staffies are called ' nanny' dogs a d adore children because they are like children themselves. In Victorian times they were bred to guard the prams and children in the parks. They were tossed with the British bull dog English bull terrier and a touch of a Dalmatian. They love kids!
7. they love everybody and can get over exhuberant in greeting people but they are very easy to train ( though some can be stubborn like a child refusing to do something).
8. learn to respect dogs and they will be a faithful loving family member. Teach your children to be the same. Remover when your children visits GPS they are entering a house that is the dogs home and the children and adults should respect that. Dogs are pack animals and when residing with GPS it will know it's place. Locking it up in a cage or another room when visitors come can actually lead to jealousy!
9. once you get to know a staffie properly you will love their playful, exhuberant and gentle nature's. Treat them with love and gentleness because they are the most gentle breed if treated right. A frightened dog is a dangerous dog no matter the breed. Control your children around dogs and all will be well and the children will have a playmate and guardian for life.

@Starlet79 That's great then. OP doesn't have to insist her ILs look after her newborn then. In fact she can just pay for childcare vs her and her husband trying to dictate to her ILs whether they have a pet or not. It's beyond complete cheeky fuckery to try and lay down the law how your parents should live based on your own choices as an adult.

starlet it isn't the dogs that need to be trained and supervised it is the children! Perhaps attention to that will make you more comfortable around dogs. Screaming kids running around wildly frighten market alone a dog. Kids running up from behind and on bikes going full pelt from behind frightening for anyone let alone a dog. Kids chasing dogs pulling them around like a rag doll, hands flapping around, being in your face! All if these things and more besides WILL MAKE ANY DOG FRIGHTENED AND FEEL THREATENED and their response will be to BITE. Imo children who are not taught to behave properly around dogs are the biggest threat of all!

If you don’t trust your in laws to be able to look after your DC with the puppy then you shouldn’t be leaving your DC with them at all, there are things much more dangerous than dogs...

Agree with HUZZ get someone else to look after your kids and your in laws can have whatever dog they like!

But Labradors don’t have lockjaw. When was the last fatality caused by a Labrador?

No dog has a jaw that locks. They all have the same anatomy only with variation in Shap and size.

Please dog owners on here do not knock a dog breed you have never had! Staffies are the most popular dog in the country and it is also the breed which has the most cruelty done to it. Just go do a tour of all the dogs homes and see for yourself the cruelty this breed has suffered from humans. I am sick of peoples bias against what is naturally a gentle and loving breed!

I don't understand why you were are happy to send your first child there given you've stated they never trained any of their dogs. So they had 2 untrained dogs when your first child was a baby and you were happy to send them there but because of the breed you're now concerned? I wouldn't be sending any baby/young child to house with untrained dogs regardless of breed.

Labradors can kill and be vicious ( I've met quite a few ) just like any dog.

Any animal is dangerous to a child be it a hamster, rabbit, or dog. It doesn't matter how 'domesticated' they are. It's very unfair to leave both alone together as they all have unpredictable behaviour. Animals don't have cognative thinking and we can't label them as 'good or bad'.

Animals don't have cognative thinking and we can't label them as 'good or bad'.

Totally agree about the good/bad bit but of course they have cognitive thinking. Otherwise training would be a total waste of time.

OP either you trust your PIL to have a baby and a medium sized dog together or you don't. The fact that it's a staffy is neither here nor there other than the fact that this dog gets a bit of a breed head start because they are usually pretty good at socialising quickly to people and so tend to be good around them. Other dogs, they are often not so great with.

Ridiculous, ignorant and stupid.

Any animal is dangerous to a child be it a hamster, rabbit, or dog.

Wow, when did a hamster or rabbit maul a child? How’s a hamster going to harm a child? Or a rabbit come to that? The danger would all be in the other direction, surely?