If you separated from your husband l, was it the right thing to do ? Do you regret it or are you glad ?

[Lardlizard]

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I’m glad, the only sadness I might have is for not doing it sooner, but then I choose not to dwell on it, I moved on.
What’s up OP? Are you scared/worried?

Yes just such a big decision to make

Yes it was but it’s hard. We are now divorced. I’m awake as I miss my kids who are with their father this weekend. Sometimes I love the peace and quiet but this weekend I feel lonely without them. It’s still early days though and he’s currently making life difficult for me again but this helps me to see I did the right thing.

Absolutely the right thing. Life is better alone than with a pain in the arse.
It’s an adjustment. It’s hard. It’s painful. But I don’t regret it for a second.

I wished that I’d not had to make the decision and worked for it to be any other way, however this was a situation where circumstance trumped preference. No one else involved. STXH and I made it each other miserable. I was alone when married and alone now but not feeling oppressed by a crumbling relationship gives my life a degree of integrity. Agree totally with PP - hate the times when I am by circumstance excluded from ‘family’ events.

I’m very glad and no regrets at all.

Peaceful, pleasant atmosphere in my home now for the DCs to grow up in. No tension or arguments.

Absolutely the right thing it was only once I left that I realised he was emotional abusive.

Never have regretted leaving my husband. The only regret I have is that I should have done it long before I did.

Never regretted the split with exh, absolutely love my life now. I am 9yrs down the line. The tension lifted, dcs were happier. An excellent move

No regrets. Wish it had happened about 3 years earlier.

Never regretted it. Left when dd was 6 months old. She is now 16. At times I found shared contact hard, especially when she was very little (he had her every other weekend and half the holidays, we moved a way away from each other), but I never regretted leaving him. I have been happily remarried for the last ten years.

I am very glad. I sometimes feel for my young child, but court for finances and access is coming to a close, i can finally move to be with my family and i can do what i want / spend what i want without any agro for it and its amazing!

So very pleased to get the angry bastard out of this happy home.

Only regret not doing it sooner.

OP, I think the other PPs will agree with me when I say that what scares you is brought on by your H. Once he’s out of the picture, you’ll realise that it was him all along that made you scared and upset, not the financial aspects, not the childcare. You’ll realise you’ve been doing all these by yourself all along anyway. And you’ll be astonished at the amount of free time, money you have felt over, hoe little housework you actually need to do and how much more we’ll behaved the kids will be.

Yes though it can be lonely at times. I waited until my DC were at uni so I went from a full house to just living by myself which was quite hard. In hindsight, I should have done it sooner but this way was right for the DC.
I've learned to do things by myself, including travelling, and have worked hard to expand my social life. I find I'm often very busy socially during the week but can be bored on Saturdays and Sundays as people are with their families.
Christmas, Easter, bank holidays can be tricky / lonely but that might be because I have very little extended family.
Ideally I'd like to be part of a couple but will not go out with a man for the sake of it (been there, done that). Whether I ever meet someone decent, who knows. OLD is interesting but best treated light heartedly.
All in all though it was definitely the right decision for me. Good luck OP, whatever you decide to do.

No regrets. Life became much better for myself and the DCs. It is a process though so don’t expect an immediate swing to all being great. There’s an adjustment period and divorce takes time. Worth it. Absolutely.

Yes. It was tough at the start both emotionally and financially
But so worth it

Life is too short to be unhappy

Yes, 5 and a half years on now. No regrets at all, we were not happy together. We co parent well.

It's all relatively recent for me and I don't regret it. I'm unhappy still BUT it's a better type of unhappy because it's mine and not dependant on him if that makes sense.

I am struggling with the social loneliness. @Macaroni46 you say you have made a effort to make new friends etc can I am how you did this?

Never regretted it for a single minute; my only regret is that I didn’t do it much much earlier.

No it was very tough at the time but I'm very glad I left for my own sake and DC.

SO GLAD

I don't regret leaving him but regret the impact for our dcs, having 2 homes and split events but I know it is the best for them longterm. He was abusive so homelife would have been toxic.

The reasons for the split are important, such as abuse as you really have no other choice.

I also think if you know you did everything to try and fix things you won't have regrets.

Dating after a certain age is definitely more challenging but I think it is surprising how you meet new friends. A bad relationship doesn't allow you to grow which becomes apparent once you separate.

I have honestly never regretted walking away from that 18 year relationship. Well, ‘walking away’ implies some ease whereas in fact it was a slow crawl through abusive hellfire to get to where I am now — in my own home, that I pay for, looking after my kids and thriving in freedom

Like PPs the only regret I have is not leaving sooner but I know realistically I wouldn’t have had the courage until I did. Be happy, OP.

Yes I'm very glad I did
We are both much happier
I am a much nicer person without him

However it took a lot of counselling to deal with the guilt and the dating scene is not fun

I would say the first 18m are hell
And it's taken me 5 years to recover and find me again

But I don't regret it for one second, I should've done it sooner