Why do I care so much about work? I seem to tie myself up in knots worrying about it and I really want to impress people and show the others in the team I'm capable and good at my job.
I feel like I need reassurance regularly (I don't get it) that I'm doing well and since being off ill, I'm taking it very personally that others have been promoted. The thing is, I know it is the right move for them but I just feel hurt and like I've missed out.
We have a lot of autonomy day to day and I think that makes it harder to feel like I've been productive as there's nothing to measure it against. The thing is, I'd feel claustrophobic if I went back to a job where I'm told what to do all day.
I also miss my DC and want to spend time with him so I stress about my job but then get upset about him being in nursery. I sometimes wish I could work part time and have more time with him but I'm still recovering from illness so wouldn't be a fun mum anyway.
Every day I feel like I want to achieve lots but I fall short of getting anywhere. I don't know whether I just need a kick up the bum to get motivated and productive or to change my mindset.