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Original poster

Can you elope with children present?

33 replies

Loveisntblind · 29/10/2019 00:29

Posting here for traffic.

Has anyone eloped with just their fiance and children there? Where? How? I can't seem to find a way.

We have 4 dc aged 9 and under who would be with us. Youngest being an infant. We'd need somewhere we can hire witnesses and have the children with us the entire time and I'm coming up short on whether such a place exists.

OP posts:
ShippingNews · 29/10/2019 04:45

Just go to your local registery office. And yes of course you can have your children there - you can have anyone there. It costs £57 . Here is the information that you need, including a "find a registrar office" link. www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-planning/ceremony-and-reception/registry-office-wedding/

MaitlandGirl · 29/10/2019 04:50

We did - we eloped and got married by celebrant in the local chocolateria. It was brilliant. The older two were old enough to be witnesses and the youngest one passed around the tissues and blessed the rings.

HappyGirl86 · 29/10/2019 06:44

If you marry by a celebrant that isn't a legal wedding though.

I'd recommend going to your local register office. You'll need to give notice in advance but apart from that it's straightforward if you have the right documents needed.

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9 year olds
PotteringAlong · 29/10/2019 06:47

You can’t find a place to get married that allows you to have children present?

YouJustDoYou · 29/10/2019 06:50

You can hire a babysitter to help at the ceremony?

CherryPlum · 29/10/2019 07:28

I'm not sure, the term elope is so old-fashioned. Do you just mean get married, with your kids present? If so, it's very straight-forward.

sheshootssheimplores · 29/10/2019 07:29

We want to do the same but it’s not easy is it. My DP is totally against a registry wedding. So the best we could think of was a holiday with a wedding as part of it.

00100001 · 29/10/2019 07:48
Hmm

Just book a registry office

RiddleyW · 29/10/2019 07:49

What do you think elope means?

RiddleyW · 29/10/2019 07:56

We want to do the same but it’s not easy is it. My DP is totally against a registry wedding. So the best we could think of was a holiday with a wedding as part of it.

Sorry to be nosy but I don’t understand this at all - why couldn’t you get married in a church in this country. Assuming he’s religious?

MaitlandGirl · 29/10/2019 08:07

If you marry by a celebrant that isn't a legal wedding though.

@HappyGirl86, it is where I live.

HappyGirl86 · 29/10/2019 08:10

@MaitlandGirl ahh yes I didn't consider the OP might not be in England or Wales.

ShippingNews · 29/10/2019 08:10

If you marry by a celebrant that isn't a legal wedding though

It is definitely a legal wedding. Celebrants are legally trained and certified to hold weddings, funerals, naming ceremonies etc.

greypetex · 29/10/2019 08:15

Do you need to elope?

It might help if you said where you are now?

There is always good old Gretna Green

theduchessstill · 29/10/2019 09:15

I must admit I'm intrigued - why can't you do it? Is it because you need someone to watch the kids especially the youngest, during the ceremony? If so, I doubt any registry offices provide that service. You'd need to hire someone, or invite an adult you know purely to sort the children??

Original poster
Loveisntblind · 29/10/2019 09:18

Sorry, must have not explained myself well at all, was exhausted up with the baby when I posted.

Yes I know what elope means, we wouldn't be informing anyone. married with 4 young children to watch and no witnesses.

OP posts:
theduchessstill · 29/10/2019 09:24

So it's basically childcare you need?

greypetex · 29/10/2019 09:25

So what are you actually asking?

You want witnesses? Childcare? Location?

RiddleyW · 29/10/2019 09:32

Sounds like you just book a registry office then, you won’t need childcare I suppose as you’ll both be there. You can’t do it with no witnesses.

getyourgrooveback · 29/10/2019 09:35

Book registry office.
Hire a cheap photographer - you get photos and a witness
Hire a nanny/childminder - the younger ones are watched during the ceremony and you get a witness.
Job done

getyourgrooveback · 29/10/2019 09:36

Ps. I "eloped" to Vegas. Only legally needed one witness - used the photographer

Original poster
Loveisntblind · 29/10/2019 10:14

And the baby hit the post button before I was done...

I meant I'm having a hard time finding a package deal somewhere, where virtually everything is included. Photographer, ceremony, officiant, hotel stay etc that allows for children in the hotel room (lots of places are 18+) AND has the option to hire witnesses.

Everything I've looked at either includes witnesses if it's just the couple attending OR allows up to ten guests and removes the witness option.

The elopement packages I've looked at either include the cost of a bridal suite, says "just the two of you", includes lots of alcohol/food for up to ten guests or doesn't have witnesses.

We need to elope, our families are very unhappy about our relationship and we haven't spoken to them in years. We held out hoping that conflict could be resolved but it doesn't seem it ever will. We still want it to be a nice day for us though. If you know what I mean.

OP posts:
PinkDaffodil2 · 29/10/2019 10:18

Is there nowhere nearby so you wouldn’t need to stay overnight? Agree with PP that a local registry office, cheap photographer and childminder from an agency / website would fit the bill.
If you want a night in a hotel you can arrange separately for that night or some other time.

Original poster
Loveisntblind · 29/10/2019 10:26

I'm in England. We moved a long way from friends several years ago and don't have any where we live now. We thought about having a wedding where some of our friends are but so many are scattered across the UK and abroad so it would be impossible to have a full wedding without upsetting someone as no one could afford to travel outside of their own town or take off work to do so. My friends are in one direction and his are another.

Fiance would like to elope abroad but I have only found packages that cater to adults or adult guests.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loveisntblind · 29/10/2019 10:29

I didn't realise you could use a photographer and never thought about a childminder as a witness. That really helps, thank you Smile

OP posts: