DM constantly talks to herself and narrates her own thoughts

[Bofster37]

Does anyone else’s mother do this?

She’s staying with us this weekend and I can hear her in her bedroom narrating her own thoughts. She’s been doing it for years. I’ve never come across anyone else doing it before.

I do this. Oh God the mortification when I realise that I have done it and others (neighbours, family) can hear me. I have conversations (extremely one-sided) on topics that no-one would discuss with me and in a foreign language I am learning (useful then). But also arguements (usually with my mother - what I wish I could say to her). Proper nutjob territory if anyone hears me. Oh the mortification!! But I can't stop it. And now I know others do it.

My DM does this. It’s exhausting. If I reply because I thinks she’s talking to me she will get irritated and ask why I did that. Drives me bonkers.
She also has to narrate every car drive. A bit like Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet). And she will read every single sign out loud. Town names, pub names, etc etc.... allllllll theeee timeeeeee.

Yes, I do it too. I mutter to myself usually when doing mundane tasks, like my brain doesn't want to be unnoccupied.

I once taught a class of 30 8 year olds who constantly narrated themselves.

Think in your head, please! Was a common request.

No conversations as she doesn’t like to be ‘interrupted’.
Along the lines of:

There’s a cat omg be careful (it’s asleep on a garden wall).
Ye olde Royal Oak pub.
Xxxxx Town.
Bike coming up, I know how you feel about bikes so don’t run him over (on the other side of the road).
The Dukes Head.
Welcome to West Sussex.
The Fox and Hounds.
Woman with a little under, he might run in front of the car, be careful (child in buggy half a mile ahead).
The White Horse.
Xxxxx village.
Star Inn.
Oh, a roundabout. Be careful.

I do it if I'm alone. I know several people who talk to cuddly toys, and isn't it part of the reason to have a cat?

I make lists out loud because it helps me remember them, or if I'm cooking ill say, right, that's gone in at half past so x needs to go in at quarter to, then at 10 past it needs x and then the peas need to go in when y comes out.

Again, helps me remember it all.

I also rehash arguments with pithy comebacks I wish I had said while I'm driving (on my own).

I don't however, do a constant 'oh that vase is pretty, now where are my shoes, oh here they are, I'll just put them on and then Ill get the washing in. I hope it's dry if not it will have to stay out and it might rain but I've got to go out blah blah blah. Which all happens in my head.

MIL does this. She cannot abide a silence. You can find her alone in the kitchen talking to the pots and pans:

😂🤣😂🤣😂 Oh, this has made my morning 😂

Bike coming up, I know how you feel about bikes so don’t run him over (on the other side of the road).

😂🤣😂🤣😂

I talk to myself as well as I find it helps me not forget things as often.

Oh God, I do this at work. I'm newly back in an office and forgotten that I did this. I'm constantly trying to get myself to shut up but I can't. I must irritate the hell out of my colleagues.

Yep I rehearse conversations ALL the time. I do it as it helps with stress 😊

I'm careful to only do it alone, ie in the car, walking the dogs as I appreciate others may think it rather odd!

MIL narrates what she sees or what people are doing. It seems to fill a space or draw the focus of the room on to what she would like it to be for. It's always weirdly specific and almost like a 3rd party is speaking rather than part of a conversation. If DD is present everyone will be spoken about by her relationship to them and if not the same but with normal names. It's not even to DD just in the space around her (she coule be in another room). E.g. "hmmm mummy's eating bacon', 'grandad is touching his hair', 'hmmm next door are moving their car' etc. It sounds like nothing written down but it drives me mad because it's not 'oh black cat your breakfast looks nice' just 'hmmm mummies eating bacon' because that's what she's spotted first.

"where's the good knife,oh there, oh this pinny is annoying me, now is there mustard, I'm sure I bought mustard, I told Jean I needed mustard but she doesn't eat it, too strong apparently, oh look that's boiling now so now the beans....."

This is well funny. Made me laugh.

I do this. And at work. Not quite as bad as this. Don't see the problem myself?

Lol I do this but only when there's no one around to hear. Usually if I'm having an internal debate about something I find it helps me to verbalise it. My DS seems to have inherited that particular gene and can be heard talking to himself quite loudly (particularly when he's playing Xbox). When he had his Ed-psych report done for his dyslexia they actually said that it would help him to verbalise things particularly when reading and writing so using that creative part of the brain. I'm dyslexic too and been doing this since childhood so I wander if, for some people, it's just a way of processing things?

"I also rehash arguments with pithy comebacks I wish I had said while I'm driving (on my own)."

I do this. I am not quick witted enough to come up with anything clever or sarky actually during the argument/discussion. And that drives me wild.

I have the opposite problem in that DM always says "Eh? Pardon?" when I'm quietly talking to myself or if I'm talking to someone else, or if I'm on the phone. Then often gets huffy when I explain I wasn't talking to her. I think her hearing is going as she can't distinguish between streams of conversation, but she won't go for a hearing test. It seems to be a source of pride that she has excellent hearing and "can hear a pin drop". She often doesn't catch what I say the first time when I talk to her directly either.

I have a colleague that does this. It’s like a constant, stream of consciousness, negative moan. Then she’ll say ‘I don’t usually complain but...’!!!
She can keep it up for HOURS and it’s all complaints. I don’t think she really knows she is doing it. She is actually lovely (as in she is a kind person in dealing with others) but I find it really draining.

When he had his Ed-psych report done for his dyslexia they actually said that it would help him to verbalise things particularly when reading and writing so using that creative part of the brain. I'm dyslexic too and been doing this since childhood so I wander if, for some people, it's just a way of processing things?

Ooh, interesting. My MIL is the will-talk-in-an-empty-room type. It’s exhausting. She had dyslexia-type language processing issues when younger (not diagnosed, was just considered ‘slow’, which she isn’t.)

One of my DC also narrates imaginary play loudly and noisily with all characters having very involved conversations - she also struggles with reading etc and we’re looking into dyslexia testing.

Finally my dad is a muttered, when alone. No idea what he mutters about - often the cricket!

My MIL does this. She’s always done it (in the 25 years I’ve known her anyway) but it has got much worse recently. She mainly says the things she’s thinking that are very negative - FGS why are you making such a fuss about x, why are we having broccoli for dinner when you know I don’t like it, etc etc. The comments are just loud enough that I can hear to get the gist but not at normal volume. She also makes loud throat-clearing noises to herself at random times that are loud and make me jump. She doesn’t seem to know that she’s doing either of these things.

We don’t have a clue what to do (if anything). Seems cruel and rude to point it out to her, even though she is being incredibly rude to us with her comments!

I do this all the time, mainly it's rehearsing conversations in my head or imagining conversations that I think I might be having in the coming few days. Usually work related conversations or arguments.

I don't usually say anything out loud but I mouth the words - I do get funny looks quite a lot. If someone I know notices it and says something I just lie and tell them I'm singing quietly!

I also narrate things out loud when I'm driving, I'm always reading out road names or pub signs or shop windows. My grandad is the only other one in my family who does it too, drives my husband mad lol.

Lots of interesting replies here.

It’s very much like @nakedavengeragain’s post. Talking to herself about what she’s watching on TV, narrating what other people must be thinking and doing, speaking her thoughts out loud (even if they’re rude!). It definitely isn’t rehearsing or practising upcoming conversations.

She doesn’t live on her own so she does have company at home.

I think she has a number of ‘quirks.’ Without any consultation from others, she plans and scripts how upcoming events will go, and then when they don’t go according to her plan, she gets very upset. But of course, the people around her don’t perform according to her script or plan (why would they? They don’t even know it exists!) but then they get told off for not doing what she had presumed they would do!

She never asks me any questions about myself. She monologues. She talks to me like I’m a little girl (“you’re doing this wrong, that’s not how you’re supposed to do that!”). If I am telling her a story because I’ve managed to get a word in edgeways she cuts over me, finishes sentences for me and gets visibly irritated if I ‘go on too long.’

I do wonder if it’s some broader misunderstanding of pragmatics, context, not quite grasping conversation cues and social communication. I guess I’ll never really know, but last night it really did make me wonder!

I have random conversations with people who aren’t there out loud (stopped a bit as DH was commenting on it 😂).

I also make noises apparently, came out at work when a colleague commented ‘that’s not your usual noise!’ after I did something

Sometimes I just need to have a chat with an intelligent, sympathetic person who sees my point of view

I do this when I am walking the dog. The horses, cows and sheep we pass seem to enjoy the odd snippit of conversation but sometimes i startle other walkers who usually reassure me they do the same thing.

my colleague does this and it drives me and the other office inmate admin person potty

"ooh so i'll just put this down here and that paper clip needs to go over there, good that's tidy now, so i'll just put a post-it on the file so thingy knows what it is when she comes in on Monday oh there's only yellow ones Sue Sue are there any green post-its? oh it doesn't matter here's one now OK what to write hm hm hm ok that's fine now I'll make a cup of tea Dave! Dave! would you like a cup of tea oh sorry were you listening to music on your headphones? are you listening to something nice? Just working?" etc for 10 hours