Do you teach your teenage sons how to run a house?

[wheresmymojo]

Inspired by other threads where men seem to need instructions on 'what needs to be done'.

I also have one of these - happy to do his half and gets on with obvious things like laundry, dishwasher, hoovering.

However he would never think to do things like clean the inside of windows, dust skirting boards (actually probably dust at all), etc.

When I was growing up I was expected to help my DM around the house and she would make sure I'd not overlooked things like this. My stepbrother on the other hand was just asked to do 'outside' jobs like washing the car or bikes.

Do those of you with teenagers give proper housework chores? Not just 'take the bins out' but actually dusting and such like?

Do you give the same chores to the boys and girls or different?

We have a cleaner so I don't do things like skirting boards, but it's a good point I should be making with my children so they know it gets done, as it's all done when they're at school. Maybe when they are teenagers I will get them to do it instead

My mother actually was an extremely slovenly housekeeper.
She spent 10 minutes once a week running the hoover round the most obvious bits of carpet. The kitchen and bathroom might be cleaned once a week.
It wasn't until I moved into a house share as a student and all my housemates insisted on a cleaning rota, that I realised this wasn't the norm. (and I still wouldn't have thought to clean skirting boards).
At least if you are in a house where cleaning is being done, you have some chance of understanding what needs doing!

Surely nobody is giving their teen boys different jobs than their girls?!! God, I hope not!

I only have a dd and I'm going to teach her how to look after herself and that includes looking after a home. If I had a ds I'd make sure he was taught the same. I was brought up in a home with a db who was treated like a pampered prince. He is absolutely useless now and I feel sorry for him and even more sorry for whoever he ends up with. I also feel quite resentful when I think at the difference between what I was expected to do and what he was (not much). Not resentful, maybe that's too strong a word, and I'm glad that I know how to do things and think for myself, perhaps it's more that I can't believe the unfairness of it.

Should have said kitchen and bathroom were cleaned once a year.

(I don't think once week is slovenly!)

DSS (16) is expected to keep his own room and bathroom clean. He has been shown how to do both properly, but chooses not to do it very often. His bathroom in particular is minging, but there's only him that uses it!

On the other hand he is very proficient at washing, ironing and cooking. He'll load and empty the dishwasher when asked, and does a decent job of cleaning up after himself after he's cooked.

I've also taught him about household budgeting, and he's starting to get the hang of that now.

DS is 6 and does things like making his bed without prompting, and is happy to help with other chores like laying the table, hoovering and bringing in wood for the fire, but wouldn't do these things without being asked.

I don't buy into that these adults who cannot do things weren't taught or anything at home. Because they would have seen these things around the home, well unless they spent their childhoods locked in an empty self-cleaning room.
It's that they are lazy or expect others to do everything. Obviously there are those who genuinely cannot do lots of things, but from experience, they still like to get involved. It's an entitlement and if you look into the family you will see where it stems from. Otherwise, it's a massive coincidence that useless adult partners, have family members who when visit you don't lift a finger to help, at least that's been my experience.

Mine weren't specifically 'taught' anything, they were encouraged to get involved from an early age. At school age, they saw the little things getting done like the windows etc because they still needed doing regardless of where the kids were.
Involved in whatever parts of eating etc.
As they aged they wanted to get more involved with washing especially around puberty. They had their reasons, I respected that and of course, washing was regularly getting done.

IMO all teenagers should be able to do the basics.
I get a little frustrated at some of the higher education threads where some DC go to university not knowing how to even boil a kettle.

Whose fault is that then? The parents.

I only have boys. Defo would not give different chores to girls and boys. We have an app (Tody) and it automatically assigns things, but I haven't put dusting on there, because I don't care about it. Cleaning windows is on there.

My DC (one DS one DD) are both working young adults now and do their share at home (it's just the 3 of us). They both knew how to operate the washing machine properly as young teens and would put washing on if asked, or if they wanted something specific washed. They took it in turns to take the rubbish out, each would cook a couple of times a week and can both cook a variety of decent meals from scratch, and we'd all take turns washing up. Now everyone just chips in as and when because of work times etc, they both know that looking after the house, cleaning, cooking and laundry is the responsibility of everyone that lives there, regardless of sex. Same with DIY and house maintenance /repairs.

12yr old DS is learning. He loves Viakal-ing taps and getting them shiny again.

But I've never really bothered to clean a skirting board. It gets wiped if there a spillage. I'm working LP with low standards.

I would think all kids would be expected to take part in the same chores regardless of gender/ sex.

Dusting and wiping skirting boards seems a bit ott for me. So my kids will probably never learn that skill.

Dusting and wiping skirting boards seems a bit ott for me

DD has house dust mite allergy so I have to dust anywhere that collects dust. Besides, I hate seeing dusty skirting boards anyway.

I have four grandsons between 15 and 8 and they all have household chores to do. They can all, except the youngest, cook a meal with minimal supervision. One of the older boys specialises in ironing. My husband was also expected to do household chores at home and does (more than) his share of housework including ironing.

Skirting boards are one example of why hoovers have attachments. When I didn't have one I used to brush them at the same time as doing floors.
Isn't that what's meant by dusting them? Or do people get down and actually wipe them?
The only time they've been wiped is with an old blind cleaner and something has been spilt. Cannot remember what I used before the blind cleaner became useless at cleaning blinds.

I don't do those things myself.

I don't have skirting boards.

Why do skirting boards exist?

Do they only exist in the UK?

I've lived in my current house 12 years and so far lack of skirting boards has had no consequences.

It's a mystery.

Sometimes DH notices that the inside of windows need cleaning. He got the kids to clean them in the summer holidays. I'm afraid I don't notice, although I'm the only one who buys toilet rolls or kitchen roll or washing up liquid or toilet cleaner ...

I teach my boys to do the same stuff I teach my girl though. I do most of the laundry but if it piles up people muck in. I hate being told what to do so I don't give out jobs, which has the consequence of people actually noticing that they don't have any pants and doing things without being told.

Any thread about children doing chores attracts someone who wants to slip chainsaws in... (That could be read various ways )

Yes, of course, but DS is AS and needs rules he can follow.
We have up till now mastered washing, cooking meals he likes, the recycling rules and shopping plus he leaves the bathroom clean.

However he would never think to do things like clean the inside of windows, dust skirting boards (actually probably dust at all), etc.

To be fair, I can't remember the last time I dusted anything (probably several months ago) and I've never in my life cleaned the inside of a window!

I'm not particularly good and cleaning the nooks and crannies like skirting boards myself that often but our house is always generally clean and tidy.
I've got two boys and two girls, by the age of ten they could all do general domestic stuff like making beds, washing/drying up/dishwasher, hoovering, changing and making their own beds, they could all also cook basic foods like bacon & eggs, beans/cheese on toast, toasties, soup, simple things. By the age of 15 they could all do their own washing/drying,ironing, and cleaning bathrooms and they could cook slightly more difficult meals. My boys (men really as they're re 28 & 30 are both tidier and better cooks than my girls (25& 34)

Why is it a badge of honour on here to not keep a clean house?

It's not a badge of honour, it's the inevitable result of having other more urgent priorities.

I have only boys but they can cook (anything from roast dinners to complex puddings to a full English), clean, do laundry, iron, sew and mow the lawn.

My eldest has just spent 3 years at uni. For the last 2 he lived with 4 girls and 3 boys, none of whom could cook. Boiling pasta was as good as it got. Shocking!

NOOOO.
omg, the teenagers are so bossy, they would have a million opinions and squabble & yell at each other for doing it wrong.

If I tried to make them do chores...
Dd would wash one clothes item in machine on 3 hour wash just when we wanted the washing machine for other things. Then she'd run the dishwasher for 2.5 hours to wash one cup.

DS1 would throw everyone else's stuff away for being annoying clutter.
DS2 would have an anxiety attack.
DS3 would cry at everyone else being lazy toerags and dropping crumbs all over 5 minutes after he got things pristine.

Just NOOOO.