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Original poster

Objections at weddings

32 replies

Qu1tter · 21/10/2019 23:33

Inspired by poor @WeddingMuppets thread about marriage licenses and the reasons behind giving notice to marry, I was wondering if anyone has ever been at a wedding where someone actually stood up and objected to the marriage rather than forever holding their peace? And what would actually happen if someone did object?

OP posts:
W0rriedMum · 21/10/2019 23:35

No but I've often wondered if it happens!!

weddingmuppet · 21/10/2019 23:35

Place marking Grin

Drabarni · 21/10/2019 23:37

I've always wondered this too.
I know there are clips of weddings where the Bride found out the groom was cheating, some are really bad.
One woman read out all the text messages between her fiance and ow.
Not sure about the objection, all her bridesmaids new, maybe one of them would have objected if it got that far.

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Weddings
withgraceinmyheart · 21/10/2019 23:48

Dh saw it happen once, before we met.

The grooms mother and sister got up and objected on the basis that they didn’t like the bride. Apparently if it happens it a legal requirement that the vicar goes off in private with the person objecting and be bride and groom and hears them out, so that all happened. Obviously there was no actual legal basis to stop the wedding so they all came back and the ceremony went on, somewhat awkwardly.

By all the accounts the bride was genuinely chuffed that her in laws had showed their true colours and made total idiots of themselves like that, and didn’t feel like it ruined her day at all as it was a reflection of them not her. I thought she must be remarkably well adjusted to feel that way!

FishyMcFishyfingersFace · 22/10/2019 00:21

The vicar of the church we attended years ago when I married dh, when we were going through the order of service and that part came up, told us the only objection raised that he had, by law, to prevent the service continuing for was if he was told one or both of the participants were already married.

If someone objected then he'd take the parties concerned into a private room and find out what the objection was. If they could prove there was already a married party then the service had to stop, otherwise they'd usually go back and finish the ceremony.

If it can be proven it is a sham marriage for gaining citizenship or a forced marriage etc. they can use their discretion and refuse to perform the ceremony, but many years ago he only knew of the reason of one party already being married where he legally had to stop proceedings, all other reasons from objectors were at discretion of the person taking the ceremony as to whether it continued or not. But of course, laws surrounding this may well have changed in the last 20+ years.

He'd never been in a ceremony where someone had objected though. (And now my dh has legal citizenship Grin only joking.)

DappledThings · 22/10/2019 08:23

Our vicar made sure we knew that if anyone says anything as a joke she had to take it seriously and would have to stop the ceremony so if we had any suspicions anyone would think it was funny to tell them. Not that any of our friends would be that twatty.

As it was we did have a cry of "No" at exactly that moment from a one year old which was excellent comic timing.

Never seen it for real.

Blobby10 · 22/10/2019 08:27

Was at a civil ceremony in August when the celebrant asked for any objections - she said it was a criminal act to falsely object so please don't anyone do it for a laugh or she would have to call the police. Not sure if she was serious? Anyone know?

PowerslidePanda · 22/10/2019 08:36

Given that there does need to be a legal basis for any objections, the "or forever hold your peace" bit really doesn't make much sense. If the marriage wasn't legal at the point of the wedding, it's not like it would become so just because someone chose not to say anything at the time. Both legally and morally, they could still raise a valid objection at any point afterwards!

sashh · 22/10/2019 08:42

I know a close shave, it was the church my parents were attending in the 1960s. After the 'banns' had been read someone in the congregation realised the bride and groom were actually half siblings.

This was in the days before DNA tests when few women were allowed to keep their illegitimate child and if they did then the father was rarely identified. A woman had confided in her friend who the father was and subsequently died.

It was horrible for all concerned.

Original poster
Qu1tter · 22/10/2019 09:39

Bloody hell @sashh that's a horrible one but I know half siblings who went to the same school and didn't have a clue they were related so it's not beyond the realms of possibility that could have dated etc.

@Blobby10 that celebrant seems like a barrell of laughs. I was at a wedding recently and I genuinely don't remember the celebrant asking if anyone objected. I might just have been caught up in the emotion of the moment though.

@withgraceinmyheart . Wow. I would have been mortified. What horrible people to wait until the ceremony to raise their concerns.

OP posts:
paap1975 · 22/10/2019 09:43

My grandfather worked in churches and attended dozens of weddings. It's very rare and you can only really object if someone is married or doesn't have the mental capacity

WaningGibbous · 22/10/2019 09:50

Was at a civil ceremony in August when the celebrant asked for any objections - she said it was a criminal act to falsely object so please don't anyone do it for a laugh or she would have to call the police

Well there's a story behind that, isn't there? Grin

Blobby10 · 22/10/2019 09:56

WaningGibbous would love to know it!

Qu1tter in her defence, she did say it with a smile and little laugh but there seemed to be a serous undertone!! I didn't realise til then that it was illegal to object to a wedding without just cause, Thought it was more a nuisance and embarrassing for the couple rather than an illegal act.

Windydaysuponus · 22/10/2019 10:00

Look at the prank played on a groom lately. The bride hired a drag artist to burst in wearing a white dress singing 'It should have been me'!!. Was hilarious imo!!
YouTube....
Wish someone had stopped my previous weddings!!

ShippingNews · 22/10/2019 10:03

The only acceptable objection, is that one of the participants is already married, or otherwise legally unable to be married. Stories about people objecting because they don't like one of the couple, or other silly reasons, are bollocks.

Original poster
Qu1tter · 22/10/2019 10:12

@Windydaysuponus 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Away to Google that.

OP posts:
withgraceinmyheart · 22/10/2019 10:14

it’s really not bollocks. I very clearly said that it wasn’t considered a valid objection and the ceremony did continue.

GrumpyHoonMain · 22/10/2019 10:20

I’ve seen if quite a bit. marriage after an acrimonious split and the ex-bf (it was always the ex bf never an ex gf) managed to sneak in. Usually handled by the ex being escorted out and the registrar taking the bride somewhere private to ask her if she really wanted to get married. No weddings cancelled as a result

GrumpyHoonMain · 22/10/2019 10:21

But the registrar only asked because of the fear of a forced marriage as these were Indian registries.

Jiggles101 · 22/10/2019 10:31

Everyone always looks around expectantly at this part - never seen it happen though. Or a jilting, I'd probably secretly enjoy a jilting Blush (if no-one close to me of course)

0SometimesIWonder · 22/10/2019 10:34

Only one I ever heard was Yvonne Fair:

sashh · 22/10/2019 11:02

Qu1tter

Apparently it is not uncommon for siblings who meet as adults to be attracted to each other.

Original poster
Qu1tter · 22/10/2019 11:28

@0SometimesIWonder

🤣🤣 Tuuuune

OP posts:
LittleSweet · 22/10/2019 16:32

Mark and Scott's wedding with Lady Fancy on YouTube is hilarious. One wedding we went to we were sure the ex wife would come. She didn't, but everyone in the church held their breath as it was the kind of thing she would have done. At my wedding we thought that my mil would have been tempted as she hates me. She described our wedding day as the day I ripped her family apart. Nice. I thought she was gaining a daughter. 😆

Crunchymum · 22/10/2019 16:56

Did that lady not get her license then?