I'm so tired of life

[DocusDiplo]

Everything is an awful mess. There is no solution. I don't even see the point of writing this

We’re here. Sorry you feel like this. Would you like to tell us more about what’s going on?

What is it OP? Family? Money? Illness? Housing? Behaviour from others? Whats been happening for you?

Sorry you’re having a rough time.
Most ‘awful messes’ can be helped. What’s going on?

Hey do you want to say what's wrong xxx

Everything. I am a bad parent. Bad with money. Just find life to hard. Life a mess. Single parent. Work. Study. No family. Can't stay fit. Can't keep house tidy. Feel alone and sad and miserable a the time. No counselling has helped. Nothing and noone can fix this. Just stuck like this until I die. No friends who understand. Everyone is busy with their life. Letting kids down with being rubbish too. I hate myself so much. And I do get every other weekend to myself. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate having kids.

Sorry you're all wasting your time posting.

Do you have your kids this weekend?

You need to make an appointment with your GP to start with and that's the first step in taking charge of your life. It sounds like everything is really difficult for you but you do have the power to change things. You have to seek help

I do have the kids. Don't know what to do with them. They'll moan about what I cook. Can't think of anything to do at weekend.

GP can't suggest anything. I'm not sick or ill just a failure at life. I have a small dose of antidepressants.

So sad to hear how bleak everything seems for you right now.

When did you last feel ok Docus ?

How long have you been a single parent, how old are your dc?

Can you try to relax for a bit then make a list of what you need to do re housework and do 1 chore at a time, then relax then get another thing done.
If you post separate thread about money issues I'm sure people can help ,and even small suggestions can help turn things around.

Bath, shower or all-over wash (depending on how chaotic your life is. I've been there).
Half an hour nap.

Every moment that you have a roof over your head and are not in major physical pain is a 'happy' moment. Start counting them. You'll feel like a fraud at first, but do it anyway.

Five minutes doing something, anything. Change a pillowcase. Clear part of a table. Gather socks (choose one item) for washing. Very small goals, very small steps. Tiny progress is progress.

Counselling might not have helped yet, but it will in the end. Took ten years for me, but when it happened, it was like flipping a switch and I wasn't depressed any more.

Use this. Don't think about anything but the sound. If your thoughts wander from the sound, forgive yourself and go back to it.

Whenever you think something bad about yourself, think 'And I forgive myself'.

I was in a similar place to you for over twenty years. And I'm not now. It can be ok for you, too. Focus on the moment. Just this moment.

Is there something easy you can cook, like eggs & toast, that they like?

Thank you. All the advice makes sense. Definitely overwhelmed. They're 8/10& fight alot. Maybe five minutes tip will work. I do try. Just so alone and empty. I manage some weeks and feel like super woman and others just ... Tired. Taking them swimming (hv to go in pool) is tiring after work. Cooking and thinking of what to cook is hard. Getting them off screens is so hard, to bed, to not eat sugar. They fight and moan. So many battles. I feel worn down totally. I feel so sad. And such a failure.

Being tired makes things harder- and can make you unnecessarily critical of yourself.

Do they behave pretty well at school and just get wild at home?

You sound like you’re doing better than you think.

Have you got anyone you can confide in?

Would some easy meal ideas on this thread help?

Keep going OP. Things will get brighter. Hope you get lots of help here, am sure you will x

On those weeks when you are tired, if you can't get all the chores done,it's OK.It really is OK not to be able to be on top of everything all the time.
I tend to do absolutely nothing on Saturdays nowadays, just because I need rest .Selfcare is very important.
Do children have separate bedrooms? If so can you insist they go into their own rooms as soon as bickering starts? And stay there until they are ok to interact positively?

Also definitely go back to your gp and get better, stronger meds

Op I could write this for myself. Seriously your doing better than you think.
I sodded for 2 hours the other week over fact I have zero time and am low. But I'm getting help.
10 and 8 are funny ages, do they like board games. That's an easy win and something in door.
Or football at park... Again an easy win and ticks the exercise box. Could you take up collecting pokemon as a family... Laods of walking (not sure if that's in anymore). But there almost free activities.
My cbt counselled said write a list of each activity each day and how it makes you feel, it helps you recognise triggers for feeling low and they might not be what you think.
Hope your OK

Oh OP, you so low and downtrodden. You're a busy, working, mum of two children doing your best, which is all ANYONE can be expected to do. The fact that you've raised them so far to the ages of 8 and 10 is testament to you. You don't realise it, but you're doing a great job - honestly. It doesn't matter if the house is a little untidy. Why not have a quick, five or ten minute tidy session every day and get the kids to help?

You sound to me like you may be suffering from depression so taking those anti-depressants IF they are prescribed to you, AS prescribed is a good idea. You sound ike a really good mum who is just exhausted by everything and needs a break. That doesn't make you a failure. It makes you human

Maybe just deal with today.

Make what they’ll definitely eat for tea.

Let them play on the screens.

Do the housework that you absolutely must do, but no more.

And try to think of one nice thing you can do between now and your bedtime. I always have one thing to look forward to, even if it’s a bit tame!

Tonight, I’m going to have a cup of tea whilst watching Strictly.

I also think you’re doing better than you think. You’re working and studying. It’s hard but it will lead to a brighter future.

Get your kids to do a meal plan for the week. Negotiate with them if it’s too appalling then you don’t have to think about what to cook. That will also save you money.

Take them out tomorrow to a nearby park. Take a ball or frisbee and join in with them. Or go for a walk with them. Fresh air in nature is mostly free and helps everyone’s moods and health.

Get dcs to help with some chores. Tell them no screens til it’s done.

Writing a checklist of what you want to achieve for the day really helps. It’s out of your head and onto paper so it’s not taking up headspace.
Even writing things like ‘do a 30 min activity with kids’ ‘read with them’ ‘give them hugs’ are all things you can tick off and feel more positive about.

You sound amazing with all you are achieving docus !

That's going to wear you down. Its very tough going it alone with the child rearing. Use your weekends off wisely with lots of rest for you, which can take weeks to catch up on.

Also, book a health check with your GP (if not already suggested/done) being anaemic or similar will make you depressed and exhausted, as will vit d deficiency etc. Have a quick check up.

I think it can feel relentless, and from time to time you really need a break

Get the dc collaborating and busy, too busy to be arguing!! Or out the house more with school clubs and activitied maybe?

At the moment you have to swim with them, but soon you'll be able to pop to the cafe for a coffee or some sort of livener, or a class of your own?

Sounds like a holiday is long overdue!

Have you/X been apart long?

You care about your kids. Your working hard to be good parents, exercise, healthy food and limit screens.
Your working to provide for them and instil work ethic.
Your studying to improve your situation and instil the importance of education to your children.

You sound exhausted and worn out. You have been given lots of advice. One thing that helped me is to keep a gratitude diary, 3 things every night that your thankful for, achieved or enjoyed. If for some reason you don’t manage it one day or can only think of one then that’s fine.

Thanks for the posts. I will come back when I'm feeling less embarrassed and ashamed.